In a moment I turn towards the camera and say oh hello.
Oh okay.
Oh hello, and thank you for joining us.
We here at RoosterTeeth Productions pride ourselves on hiring only the best and brightest minds.
I'd like to welcome today, Mr Jordan Cwierz.
Who creates the RoosterTeeth Animated Adventures.
If you are ready I'd like to begin our questions.
Thank you sir.
*scoffs* Why do you have a clipboard?
I think its time somebody asked you some questions.
So I wanna say, I don't think this is fair, what will we be talking about today?
We're going to be talking about Harry Potter.
Well its unfortunate for all of you, with this clever ruse,
that I know everything there is to know about Harry Potter.
Oh really?
I have read... all...eight books and I have seen the movies.
How many movies?
Eight...no, nine.
Oh, okay.
Cause they made an extra one for the last one.
Let's begin, shall we?
Absolutely.
What are the four houses of Hogwarts?
There is Slytherin and they're the bad guys.
Mm, alright. There is...
Gryffindor...Harry is in Gryffindor...with his friends.
House...
...Baratheon, that's in Game of Thrones. It's one of the few crossovers that they have.
That's true.
They happen a lot though.
And then there is Jigglypuff, if I recall correctly.
Jigglypuff, that's correct actually.
Yes.
What is Voldemort's real name?
Vincent Demort.
Very Good. What are the followers of Voldemort called?
Soul Eaters.
Soul Eaters...If you are a 'Soul Eater', what does the mark on your forearm do?
It makes it so you can pass through walls and you can't be seen in the dark.
What is the Goblet of Fire?
The Goblet of Fire is a cup that is on fire and it was a relic that had to be, uh...
...rediscovered by Harry Potter and his friends in order to solve one of their problems.
And Harry was the one who found it. It didn't seem like he was going to...but with wits...he overcame his problems.
And everyone was happy.
What happened to Ron's brother 'Fred'?
Fred?
He ends up marrying...no, he is...
Gosh, so many characters and they're all so loveable.
And memorable.
Fred, Ron's brother, couldn't make it into Hogwarts because he doesn't know any magic.
Let's move onto some visual aids.
Okay.
Who is this?
That is Dumbledore.
Who is this?
That's Fred Weasley.
Very good.
You're doing great.
Thank you.
Which character is this?
That is the dude from Twilight. You're not gonna fool me.
Although, he would have been good in Harry Potter, because somebody would have killed him.
Somebody would have killed him.
My first guess would've been Voldermort, but no, I...come on, you can't fool me.
Which character does this actor play?
Oh, geez...
That is...that is Harry Potter and his stones.
His Sorcerer's Stone and his magical broom handle.
Let's do some rapid fire questions.
Oh, great. I will excel at this.
What can a Parseltongue help you do?
Deliver packages to people who need them.
Very good. Where does Moaning Myrtle live?
She lives in the Moaning Forest; which is fuckin' annoying.
What are mudbloods?
They live in the swamps and they hurl mud at you.
What is Ron most afraid of?
His evil brother Fred.
Polyjuice makes people do what?
Makes them turn into clones...
...of themselves.
Who does Snape fall in love with?
Well, I know Dumbledore is gay, so there we go.
We doesn't like to talk about it.
What happened with the Whomping Willow?
The Whomping Willow was chopped down by Voldermort and they had to replant it...
...and that helped solve a problem, with wits.
What is the Order of the Phoenix?
First you have a red phoenix, then the blue phoenix, then the green phoenix and then there's a black phoenix.
And, when they appear in that order, everybody's fucked.
Yeah.
Everybody's fucked.
Well, thank you, Burnie.
Thank you very much for answering my questions.
Nobody even asked me about Dobby; that's my favorite character.
You give 'em a sock and he goes crazy.
Alright, well thanks man. How did I...I feel like I did really well.
You scored beyond perfect.
You should have dug deeper and gotten better questions for me.
Yeah, I wish we would have had something that would have stumped you.
Read the books, you'll enjoy them.
Well, should I thank you for joining me, or you thank me for joining you...how does this work exactly? Never done it this way before.
I think we should all just be thankful.
Alright, well thank you for joining us on today's episode.
I think we learned a lot about...Harry Potter and even a little bit about wits.
Thank you for joining us.