I appreciate it.
I thank you so much.
I feel the same way about you.
Have a seat if you'd like to.
I don't care.
You can stand.
I'm going to sit down in a minute.
I would like to sit down right now.
I am so sore.
I was on my Peloton this morning.
Do you know-- you know what a Peloton is?
Whoo!
It's a bicycle slash torture device.
I use it every night because it's a great place
to hang your clothes.
And-- no, I do.
I love the Peloton bike.
I really do.
I'm on it every single morning.
That's why I have this caboose that just won't quit.
I love it.
It is the best invention since the Cadillac Margarita.
And here's how it works.
There's a screen on it.
Does anyone have a Peloton bike?
Whoo!
Yeah, all right.
It's a cool thing.
There's a screen on it so you can take classes
led by real instructors.
There are options for live classes, pre-recorded classes.
You can take classes through--
you can go through scenic routes, like Italy and Spain.
You know how exercise usually, when you do something
and you get used to it, it gets easier and easier
the more you do it?
Not this.
No, it gets harder and harder.
That's what she said.
No.
Literally.
No.
That's what the instructor said.
Literally, she said, "It gets harder and harder."
My favorite instructor right now is a woman named Emma Lovewell.
And it sounds like a fake stripper name.
But that's her real name.
She told me she's working her way through college
and she's a single mother.
And I think she really likes me.
My second-favorite instructor is Dirk Diggler.
Seriously, Emma is--
I don't know if you know Emma Lovewell.
But she is unbelievable.
She is in such great shape.
And her abs are incredible.
And you know, you're working so hard in the class
and you're watching her and you're like,
my abs look just like that.
And you're pedaling.
And then you get off the bike and you look in the mirror
and you're like, my abs don't look anything like that.
You think your abs should look the same because you're doing
the same thing that she is.
But apparently, Emma's doing it a lot better and faster, harder
and faster.
And that's what she said, too.
There are different instructors for different personality
types.
They motivate you in different ways.
My producer, Mary, has an instructor that she likes,
Robin.
And-- because Robin calls everyone queen,
and Mary likes to be called queen.
And then Ed, my producer, who is in the booth--
you rarely see him--
he has a Peloton.
And he likes to compete, because there's
a leaderboard on the side.
And you can see where you are with all the others.
And he's consistently in at 803.
And yet he pedals and pedals.
The whole reason I'm bringing this up
is because I think the more that I talk about it,
then the more I have to keep doing it, you know?
That's why I talk about tequila the way I do.