Do you want to stand up to that narcissist but are afraid of the potential fallout?
Well don’t worry, because we got you covered today!
A narcissist is quick to resort to emotional abuse when they are confronted by someone, often trying to turn coworkers or friends against you in the process.
Luckily, there are a number of ways to get around this, and to show that narcissist that they can’t just get away with anything they want.
Today we’ll be covering a couple of different ways that you can shut down this toxic behavior, so make sure you stick around for the whole video and you’ll be humiliating narcissists with ease!
Number 10: Make a contract with yourself.
Sometimes the most helpful advice can also be the easiest.
If you feel like you are constantly dealing with a narcissist’s emotional blackmail, then your best choice may be to make a sort of contract with yourself.
The contract should list all of the things you no longer are willing to put up with, and after you do that you should sign it too.
This will make you feel more in control of your behavior and will take the guesswork out of things.
Manipulation and gaslighting are common tactics for a narcissist, so by writing down what you won’t stand for you also draw a line in the sand on what behavior will not be tolerated.
Number 9: Create distance between your emotions and reactions.
When interviewed, many victims of narcissistic relationships claim that they felt like their own emotions were being used against them.
This, while frustrating, is pretty par for the course when it comes to these toxic relationships, and it's easy to see why.
Emotional responses can serve as a kind of barometer for your mental state, allowing for you to take note of how in control of yourself you may be.
A toxic partner, friend, or even coworker may try to take advantage of this, using your own emotions to make you look erratic or out of control.
This is obviously something you want to avoid, and a good way to do it is to create some space between the emotions you’re feeling and the reactions you want to have.
Admitting to yourself that the environment is not safe for your emotions is key here, and should help you stay more in control while you work to come up with a proper response.
Number 8: Make them repeat their words back to you.
If you really want to get under the skin of a narcissist, a good tactic is to make them bounce their words off of you.
If you feel like they are hiding behind their words, or that what they are saying to you is disrespectful, simply repeat the words right back to them, almost like you are confused at what they said.
If you are in a group of people, they will all be alerted to the fact that what the other person said offended you, and then the narcissist will be forced to stand behind their comment.
This tactic does a good job at revealing to others the true nature of this toxic individual, and may even set some alarm bells off for them.
Narcissists also tend to make quick jabs and then back off, so pausing the conversation at that moment will draw more attention to their sneaky ways.
Number 7: Give short but powerful answers.
When people start to look into exactly how to deal with emotional blackmail, they usually don’t expect that things can get resolved so quickly.
One of the fastest ways to re-establish power in this kind of situation is by giving short but powerful responses.
Saying things like, “I can’t help you,” or, “That’s too much,” may not seem like a huge deal, but it's bound to come as a shock to the person pushing in on your boundaries.
When you start to speak to them with power and confidence, you take away their ability to break you down, and you also send them a message that you aren’t going to back down.
What this does is signal to them that their emotional blackmail will have some serious consequences and that you won’t go down without a fight.
Narcissists are cowardly by nature, and in most circumstances this should help scare them off for good.
Number 6: Become uncontrollable.
A big part of the reason why narcissists thrive is that they create chaos in the lives of people who just want peace.
Narcissists will often target people who desire peace and quiet just so that they can more easily control them after shaking their life up.
As the situation becomes more and more ridiculous, you may just have to become ridiculous with it.
Try to fight those urges to fix things and make them okay, and instead give the narcissist back the same energy they have been throwing at you.
Don’t humor their threats, and don’t try to reason with them.
If you show them that you won’t listen to them, and you show that their threats are meaningless to you, you may push them into a corner.
When put in uncomfortable situations like this, a narcissist is just as likely to run as they are to try and regain control.
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Number 5: Play to the crowd.
In any argument or public situation, there are a few advantages that you have over the narcissist.
One of the biggest advantages is actual knowledge on how human beings work, something that the other person only pretends to possess.
While they may threaten you in public, or even say that they are going to reveal your secrets, the truth is that would cause them to lose all of their power.
In reality, the narcissist doesn’t really want to draw in others, as they would only complicate their plan.
The group actually works in your favor, especially if you are able to allude to some of the narcissist’s problems as well.
As long as you are keeping your composure and not becoming overly emotional, you should be able to use a group of people, especially friends, to your advantage.
Number 4: Control your fear.
When you are confronted by a person that you don’t trust, it makes sense that fear would begin to creep in.
Narcissists feed off of the uncertainty and your doubts to pull off their schemes, though, so you are going to want to reign that in as much as possible.
You should start by pinning down exactly what you are afraid of, and try to determine why the other person is using this against you.
Usually narcissists use shame or guilt to their advantage, so it's important to work with yourself before you try to shut down their blackmail.
Even if it is still a secret, if you can let go of the fear of other people finding out, or the fear of what may come next, you can take the power back and finally start to get back on the offensive instead of just worrying.
Number 3: Force a compromise.
If things are getting harder and harder without any sort of solution, you may just have to try to go for a compromise.
Now, it's very important that this deal you make is fair to both of you, and it's also important you realize how rare it will be.
You see, a narcissist wants to win more than anything, but will be unable to admit that in a group setting.
If a beef between you and a coworker has been dragging on for a while and neither of you are looking good as a result, you may be able to force them into a compromise where you both leave happy.
This is a rarer result, of course, but it can be done if you are able to stay composed and force them out of their manipulative mindset.
Number 2: Push them back into reality.
Emotional blackmail is a very complex topic, since there are a ton of different ways for things to shake out.
If they are blaming you for things that aren’t your fault, or trying to make you the fall guy for their own problems, then it’s clear that they aren’t being logical, so why should you be?
Make the other person deal with things in reality first, and when they start to make things bigger than they actually are or point fingers, then shut them down.
This solution works really well for people who are forced to keep dealing with a narcissist, and it does wonders in keeping them in line and on task.
Number 1: Threaten to cut them off.
If a person is resorting to emotional blackmail, it probably means that this relationship wasn’t worth saving to begin with.
Of course there are exceptions, but a person who chooses themselves over you is not usually going to make a good partner or friend.
So what do you do when they start threatening you and your relationship?
You simply threaten to end it all right then and there.
Almost always the narcissist will back down, and will be much more weary in bringing up the topic again.
Since narcissists typically want to be with people who adore them anyway, this may actually lead to a quicker end than originally planned, which is also great news for you.
Always remember, if you are dealing with a narcissist, then your biggest weapon is your presence.
Once you start threatening to take that away, the whole structure starts to fall apart and they lose most of their leverage.
And if you liked this video then check out these related videos to see more.
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