so I find that I'm a bit of an absolutist and so I have a hard time with both and I tend to
be extreme one of the other and so when I hear things like when I hear you say something like
you know boredom and our reaction to boredom is often the space we're uncomfortable feelings
bubble up and distracting you know sort of self-centred thoughts arise then part of me
says well then I should I mean in that sense I should that's sometimes if I want to watch
a movie or read a book or do something that is ultimately relaxing and soothing
it's almost I almost hear in that suggestion that like be there with that with that sense
of boredom I hear like all of them what would be the justification for ever watching a movie
or reading a book or or even getting out of bed in does that make sense yes
the justification for watching a movie you reading a book calling a friend and
going out the dinner would be - let's take the last example calling a friend
than going out for dinner just to share the happiness that you feel with another being
whereas the reason for for instance going to work in the morning well it depends if you
love your work then the reason for going to work is to share your happiness with spread
your happiness in in the world but let's say you don't particularly enjoy your work but you do it
because you you have a family you need to support your family and your living so you you go to work
their reason for going to work in the morning is a response to a practical need so those are two
reasons for doing something one calling a friend for dinner because you feel you feel this bubbling
up of happiness and you want it's natural for a human being to share that feeling with others so
it just comes from as a it doesn't come from a sense of lack one need it's just a bubbling
over of your happiness the second example was a response to a practical situation now there's a
third reason but those are the two reasons good reasons for getting out of bed in the morning and
doing anything now there's a third reason which is for doing something such as watching a movie
reading a book and that is to distract oneself from from uncomfortable feelings let's say boredom
for instance is an uncomfortable feeling it's not pleasant I feel this boredom I don't want
to feel it why because it's uncomfortable now if I do something such as watch a movie I will be
distracted from the boredom and this is a third reason to relieve the sense of lack the sense of
disease or the sense of fear this is the third reason why why we do things to avoid or relieve
the sense of lack fear agitation disease now all of these fear lack psychological fear and talking
about lack this ease agitation they are all ways in which the separate self expresses itself in our
feelings what is at the root of all these feelings is the core separate self now if when we feel one
of these discs uncomfortable feelings we reach for an object by an object I mean it could be a gross
object like food wine tobacco drugs or it could be a slightly more subtle mental object reading
a book watching a movie it could even be a refined state of mind but but nevertheless if we in order
to avoid facing and feeling the discomfort of these feelings we reach for some kind of
an object it would seem at first glance that the feeling of boredom that prompted this desire for
the object goes away it doesn't all that happens is the separate self that is at the heart of that
feeling simply goes to sleep in the body it's true that as long as we're watching the movie we don't
feel the boredom because our attention is engaged on the movie but as soon as the movie finishes
the sense of boredom or lack will be there again and then we'll get up and we'll go to the fridge
or we'll do whatever it is and in this way the separate self never gets discovered in our self
because we are always relieving it through objects and this is actually the most most of the desires
people have are this third form of desires of desire the desire that is there to relieve the
desire and fear sorry the desire that he said arises to relief the sense of lack or fear that
is the root of the separate self and we are simply if we are content to avoid facing the separate
self in the body through these objects we are simply postponing it the separate self will come
back again and again and again and again and again it will show up as boredom as fear as anxiety as
sorrow as lack and it will manifest in our lives as primarily conflict in relationships conflict
in ourselves in that conflict we will begin to spread around us and this conflict will be
reflected back to us in our circumstances so the good reason for doing something that acting on a
desire is one if it is required for a practical purpose either the needs of your own body the
needs of the people around you or just a response to a situation in the world that's one reason the
second reason is you feel this is peaceful love for happiness or for instance if you're an artist
you you feel beauty and it's natural you want to make something you want to play music you want to
share you want to express the beauty that you feel and turn that beauty into a form that can be sent
out into the world that's the second reason and then there is this third reason which initiates
most of our desires avoiding the separate self postponing having to face the separate self so
if our desires are initiated by this third reason I would recommend for instance if the desire to
watch a movie arises and you feel it it comes out of a sense of lack a sense of boredom a sense of
disease a sense of I can't stand the silence I can't stand the emptiness I can't stand the bee
alone with myself I would recommend pausing before you start the movie not not I'm not
recommending not watching the movie I would just recommend pausing and allowing that feeling to
come up so you you see it you face the discomfort of it because the only thing the ego cannot stand
is that the clear light of awareness so I would sit down in silence for five minutes
and face the discomfort is that is prompting the desire to watch the movie read the book
whatever it is and having faced it allowed it to rise in yourself you leave the story on one side
allow the feeling to arise invite the feeling to come fully up into the light of consciousness and
then let it relax and expand into the space of awareness and then turn the movie on I
suppose the the reason I asked isn't because I actually I don't feel I can't remember the last
time I felt bored I would say the last time I felt anxious was maybe the second night of this retreat
maybe the first night where I realized even as somebody who loves to spend time by myself
loves to just sit that there was a deeper you know there was there was a point where I felt
uncomfortable rising up but for most the part most of my day I actually craved those quiet
moments and so often times I would not say every time but I would say often times when the impulse
to do something that's entertainment and I and I brought that up specifically because I feel like
entertainment is kind of a fine line between celebratory an act that comes from happiness
or an act that goes towards happiness that I can be either yeah the same activity could be
either in the service of the avoidance of the separate self or an expression of of happiness
and we have to be sensitive to just feel I would recommend just pausing finding out in
yourself what is this desire initiated by if it's just you feel perfectly at ease and you
just like to spend evening watching a movie then then just go ahead if you feel that it comes from
boredom or boredom may not be your particular thing you may feel it more as anxiety or fear
it's different for everyone but boredom fear anxiety sense of lack if you feel that you're
distracting yourself from your anxiety by giving your attention to the object to the movie just
pause feel the discomfort of the anxiety there'll be a little bit of a rebellion inside you because
because the anxiety is used to being relieved through the acquisition of objects activities
or states so you have to be courageous and and not not strong but but courageous face the discomfort
of this anxiety let it come and then watch the movie and it may be something I'm not suggesting
that it may not happen very often so most of the time you feel your your desires are just at just
a sharing of the the peace that you feel or their response to your your your situation in life in
that that's fine then there's no problems just be sensitive to those residues those old habits
of acting on behalf of the separate self and in in this way our lives just become more and more
and more and more an expression of this love and understanding so that every aspect of our life so
that we really live the teaching we don't just think the teaching we don't even just think and
feel the teaching but we think feel and live for teaching in our relationships in our activities
thank you