[splash]
[audience applause]
Genie: And presto,
I have granted your three wishes.
A million dollars,
one of those big TVs that curves,
and a were-elephant.
- Man, this day has completely changed my life.
Thank you so much, man.
Genie: Oh.
[chuckle]
You are most welcome.
- [laughing]
Well, thank you.
- Oh!
- I don't know if I'm allowed to do that, but--
- Oh, I'm riding a fine line myself.
[awkward laughing]
You are good!
[awkward laughing continues]
Yes.
[awkward laughing petering out]
That's good.
- That's good.
[audience laughter]
Okay.
- [small laugh]
[audience laughter]
- [expectant laugh]
[audience laughter]
So what are you up to now?
- Oh, I was just gonna watch TV on my new curved screen.
- Ah, yes!
Yes.
Woman [on TV]: Welcome to the House Hunters marathon.
- Oh!
Awesome!
Yes.
- Do you have any plans?
- No plans.
- Do you wanna watch TV--
- Oh, I'd love to!
Oh, yes!
Oh!
Oh-ho-ho-ho.
Pretzels?
- I'm okay.
- [warbled] Watching your figure, I like that.
[light chuckle]
Good luck finding a house with that budget, am I right?
- Yeah.
Yep.
- But they always do!
Jason: They do.
Yep.
- Ha ha.
- That's what they do on the show.
- Hey, remember when you wished for a TV?
And now we're watching it!
- Yeah.
I thought it'd be different because it was curved, but...
- Yeah, but just sitting here, it's kind of like the same?
- Right.
- Yep.
It's too late to wish for a different one, though!
'Cause you used 'em.
All three wishes.
[chuckle]
I'm not saying they're bad wishes.
They're good wishes, you know--
- Oh, look-- the commercials are done.
We can just watch and not talk.
Genie: Yes.
[audience laughter]
- So, um, do you need to get back inside the lamp
at any point soon, or?
- Ah, no.
I can come and go as I please.
Nope!
- Cool.
- Benefits of being your own boss.
- Yeah.
- Should've wished for that.
Jason: Oh, yep.
[sigh]
So, do you need to, like, be discovered any time soon,
or I can put the lamp where someone can find it easy?
- Yep, yep, eventually.
- Okay.
Both: Yep.
- [chuckle]
[cleansing breath]
- [uncomfortably] Uh.
Genie: Oh, that is not enough backyard for her.
Woman [on TV]: This isn't enough backyard for me.
- Oh, she said it.
- Yep, that is what she said.
- Yep.
- Listen, Genie, I gotta--
Genie: Oh, so, do you wanna play Catan, or--
Oh.
Are you going somewhere?
- Oh, yeah.
I was just gonna go to Red Robin with some friends.
Genie: Oh!
You said the F word.
Jason: What?
- Friends!
Jason: Oh!
- Ahhh!
- Yeah!
Genie: [laughing]
That's a big barrier.
- That is.
Yep.
Listen, Genie, you're a great guy.
- Yes, you too!
- Yeah...
- I'm so glad we're talking about this!
- Okay, but I thought this would work like,
you know, I find the lamp--
- Yes.
- --you grant the wishes--
- Yes.
- --and then we both go our separate ways.
[silence]
- Yes.
Right.
Yeah!
- I mean, what did you think was gonna happen?
Genie: Uh, I thought we were gonna be best friends
and sail the Seven Seas.
Jason: Oh.
- [groan] Yeah.
Jason: Yeah.
- Yeah, ugh!
- No.
- It sounds dumb now that I say it.
- Yep.
- You didn't wish for a boat.
- No.
- Yeah.
We could, like, make a freebie though--
- Ah, three's enough.
- That's what I was thinking, yes.
- Three's a crowd.
Yep.
- Yes!
- Okay.
Oh.
I'll see you later.
- Okay!
[awkward chuckle]
- Have fun with your were-elephant.
- I will.
Genie: I'll see you at Olive Garden.
- Red Robin.
- Red Robin, yes.
I'll go.
Okay, I'm going!
- Not-- Oookay.
[door slams]
[audience applause]
- Hey guys, thank you so much for watching that sketch.
If you liked it, please share it with your friends.
[chuckles]
I know you're still back there.
Genie: Uh.
What's back there?
- You.
Genie: Oh.
[chuckles]
- Yeah.
Genie: Yeah?
- Yup.
Genie: Do you, do you wish me to be gone?
- I wished that a long time ago.
Genie: Well, there were three.
- Yeah.
Genie: I'll be here if you need me.
- Yeah.
I can hear you breathing.
Genie: Well, genies can,
[exhales]
do that too!
- Well, you're blue in the face
so apparently you're not breathing that well.
Genie: Oh, I haven't heard that one before!
- [sarcastic laugh]
Okay.