- On this episode we talk about headlines,
self-awareness, and why your dad showed up on Instagram.
(upbeat music)
♫ Gary Vee
♫ You ask questions
♫ And I answer them
♫ This is
♫ The #AskGaryVee Show ♫
Hey everybody, this is Gary Vay-ner-chuk
and this is episode 102
of the #AskGaryVee Show.
So last night was a long night.
I got some four dinners and an after party
business networking.
Got home at 4:15 in the morning,
so a little bit more tired than normal.
Happy Memorial Day, everybody in the U.S.
and happy weekend to everybody outside the U.S.
India, let's get into
the show!
(laughing)
I love that part.
For some reason it's like my favorite part of the show.
- [India] It's getting longer and longer.
- I'm like literally it's gonna eventually be like
let's.
I'm gonna just start comin' up with different.
- [India] You're just being really weird today.
- DRock, stop trying to, like, force the show.
You're such a over-producer.
Alright, India, let's get into the show.
- [Voiceover] Lyndon wants to know,
"What kind of headlines attract you on social media?"
- Lyndon, it's a great question.
I think the interesting part about this question
is I think a lot of different headlines attract me
and I think the headline copy reading call it
the Buzzfeed-ification of Media
is fully in play now.
I mean, when you go look with a,
it'd be fun to ask Steve this question.
It probably hurts your,
actually nah, that's not true.
I'm curious what your take is on the fact
that like the New York Times now does this, right?
Like literally the whole world has gone slang
and five, you know, ways to do this.
Like it's all headline copy marketing.
It's the stuff I built Wine Library on
on email marketing headlines.
It's just become the game.
I'm not quite sure exactly what's grabbing my attention.
Usually it's around the subject matter,
so usually things that scare me, like,
"Jets running backs in trouble."
Oh no!
You know, like?
But I'm not sure but the reason
I wanted to answer the question is because
I think it's very important for everybody
who's watching the show.
I know a lot of people here are go-getters,
entrepreneurs, and do-gooders,
whether you're trying to raise money for your charity
or whether you're trying
to sell a boot for the winter,
you need to really think about the copy
on everything you put out.
It is an absolute variable to success.
You can follow all the structural advice
that I'm giving you,
but when you get to writing the copy
on a Facebook dark post or a Pinterest post or on Twitter,
if you're not good at that,
if you're not good at grabbing someone's attention,
you're in big trouble
and so I'm not sure what's grabbing my attention
but I know that the person behind writing it
is doing a good job.
That's how you answer the question
without answering the question.
By bringing value to your audience,
not by dodging, Steve.
- [Steve] What have I dodged?
- No nothing, you were laughing,
your laugh was like (laughs sinisterly).
(laughing off screen)
- All right, let's go.
- [Voiceover] Bruce asks, "Why is Twitter
"so much like a wall in a public bathroom?"
- Bruce, this is a tremendous question.
I think the, I would argue that it's not.
I would argue that Secret was more
like a public bathroom
because you don't know who wrote it.
And I think that what's scarier probably
by your rant is that people
are actually putting their faces behind these comments
that you think are so lame or interesting
or aggressive or however you're positioning it.
So I would argue that they're not.
I think that they're,
Twitter's much more like, you know,
a cocktail party where people
are just making statements
or a gathering of friends or you know
less of the bathroom stall.
To me that's Secret and all the other
anonymous, Yik Yak,
and all the other anonymous place.
That's more the psychology.
You write something that nobody can attribute to you.
Bathroom business jargon.
(laughing offscreen)
- [Voiceover] From TagLine--
- Sh (audio cuts out) people say
in business and bathroom.
(laughing offscreen)
This is gonna be one of the great
black and white episodes of the #AskGaryVee Show.
You guys are lovin' this, right?
All right.
- [Voiceover] TagLine Tom wants to know,
"What are some easy ways to become more self-aware?"
- TagLine Tom!
I think there's one hack for becoming more self-aware,
which is asking people around you
and creating a safe zone,
a permission for them to actually tell you
about you from their perspective,
and it's on you to create that safe place
so that they actually tell you things
that you may not wanna hear,
because what I think could happen
is that you get chipped away at and I think
that ultimately if you hear enough people say
that you you're too kind or too aggressive
or full of shit or whatever it is that eventually, you know,
I gotta stop cursing 'cause all the Facebook posts
now you guys need to beep.
That's extra work for you guys.
I like how you guys (mumbles).
(laughing offscreen)
You know I think that that's the one place,
that's the only hack I know.
I don't think there's any other move.
I think it's about getting people to tell you
about yourself in safe environments.
Be aggressive about that.
Really seek out that feedback
and then be man enough, woman enough,
to eat it, really.
And the way you get more of it
is when a friend of you says,
"I think you're a little full of crap."
You know, you don't end that relationship.
You triple down on that relationship
'cause they're givin' it to you.
And that's, if you really want self-awareness,
you need to wildly, if you wanna hack self-awareness
I actually think it's predicated on having thick skin.
I think that is why, I really think so much
of what I pull off is predicated on how thick my skin is.
My skin is thick.
You know, I just can handle it.
I just can.
I hate it.
I hate it!
I hate, like, reading, like, you know,
bad stuff about me.
It's devastating.
But I respect it.
I can accept it.
I understand it.
And I try to use it as something
that I go on the offense with going forward
and so they're learning moments
and so, you know, if you could get over yourself,
right, and the funny thing is, I don't know,
I feel like I'm so self-aware I'm not sure if,
I think but I, you know, even like,
even people that I think are not self-aware around me,
it's funny to me how self-aware they really are.
It's just you don't let your brain
accept your shortcomings.
As we, oh, the self-awareness video.
This'd be a good time to click it up.
If you haven't seen this,
this is some of the best work.
Who is this?
This was DRock or Stephan?
Stephan, this is great.
This was great, this was great.
Show him.
This was great.
Show him, show him.
Great.
Watch the video.
Link it up and like show a little still.
You know what?
DRock, end in like a little,
I want 13 seconds of it.
Your choice, go.
- [Voiceover] This is a word that is rarely talked about
in our space that I wanna start
building more attention for.
Self-awareness.
I wanna deliver on this message so much.
I would create a test or a drug
that allowed people to become self-aware.
One potion inject.
Not hustle, not smart.
Self-awareness.
I don't fear being self-aware.
- All right, let's keep going.
- [Voiceover] Stephanie asks,
"Like why is my dad following me on Instagram?
"Like noo that's unacceptable."
- Stephanie, I have bad news.
Every social network that you go to
to try to get away from Pops,
when they hit scale, Pops is gonna show up.
Hey Stephanie?
It's your dad!
This knick knack thing is real cool!
That's what's gonna always happen
for the rest of your life.
And by the way, let me get a little bit
deeper on that.
Steve, you were about to say something.
- I was just gonna say something for the end of the show.
Hold it til the end of the show.
- Do it, do it, ruin the end of the show.
- We're on Spotify!
- Whaddya mean?
- You excited?
I'm excited, we're on Spotify.
The #AskGaryVee Show.
- It's on Spotify?
- I sent you four emails yesterday.
(laughing offscreen)
- Guess it was a busy day.
That is cool.
- [Steve] Yeah.
- We're on, see?
It was a black and white announcement.
This is a black and white announcement.
We're on Spotify.
This was not a color announcement.
This was a black and white announcement.
We're on Spotify.
- [Steve] Her dad's on Spotify, too.
- And Stephanie, going back to you,
and the entire VaynerNation,
soon you'll be a part of it, Stephanie.
Yes you will.
You know, I know it was weird,
that creep Alex hit you up that somebody
answered your question on Twitter randomly.
I love this whole thing.
Making Alex the creepy guy is so fun for me.
(laughing offscreen)
Look, that's what just happens, right?
It happened with Facebook,
it's happening right now with Instagram.
The youth establishes these new
kind of community centers for our society
and then everybody follows.
That's a very interesting dynamic
because I think that's the reverse
of the way human nature has been
for a very long time.
And so I think that the youth culture of our society
is now establishing the main community centers.
Not the hot new club.
That's different.
This is the out and out community centers
of our society.
It's going to have very massive long-term effects
on us as humans.
I think that's why we're living through
a youthification that I talk a lot about.
And so that's why it's happening, Stephanie.
- [Voiceover] Johannes says,
"How do you balance speed/hustle and patience?"
Johannes is such a great name.
I really like that one.
It's like Johanne and Pocahontas.
(laughing offscreen)
No, seriously.
(multiple people speaking at once offscreen)
You weren't thinking that?
That's what I was thinking.
I was thinking that Johan Santana
was dating Pocahontas and they were
known as a couple as Johanntes.
(person speaking indistinctly offscreen)
Johan said there's a real baseball player,
leftie, and Pocahontas is obviously Pocahontas.
Okay, let's go to it.
(laughing offscreen)
Obviously, this is.
(laughing)
I got it, Johannes.
Right?
- [Voiceover] (mumbles)
(laughing)
This is the best question because the truth is
I really believe that I'm a bridge, right?
I'm pulling equally, very aggressively
from both sides.
That I'm a human contradiction.
That if you really watch this show
and it throws people off,
as they get deeper into my content,
that oftentimes I'm saying things
that contradict themselves 'cause the truth is
they both live in real life at the same time
and it's about finding that cadence and balance
to guide through.
I am massively, at a global level, patient.
But on a practical level, and an execution level,
I'm very fast, right?
So it's really, it really is religion and church, right?
Like at the highest, like at the theoretical,
at the, at the grey levels of patient, long game,
I'm aware that as long as I'm alive,
I'm playing the businessman game
and it doesn't end tomorrow
and if it ends tomorrow,
I don't know the outcome anyway 'cause I'm dead.
Right?
And so, but in real life,
I understand it's a race
and speed is a variable for success to me in a big way.
Hustle, and so like they're,
patience and speed are very much
rubbing against each other
but it's like the diamond comes from that, right?
And so that's the thing that I think about.
I find it very easy to do both.
You have to understand, there's people
that are both in practical and philosophical terms,
and they have different outcomes.
AKA there's people that philosophically
are not patient.
They're impatient.
And they're fast.
And they look like the bad version of what I am, right?
They're like hustlers and they're like
doing everything for themselves
and they're not patient.
They don't care about the long game
and they're just gonna take
and they're just gonna take and take and take
and gonna take fast
and they're gonna gather
and I think that society, the game rewards them
and there's a lot of millionaires and billionaires
that didn't do it the right way
and that's what I think they look like.
Then there's a lot of people that are
massively patient and slow,
and those are the enormous amount of people
that, you know, in a business context,
not in life,
they're probably some of the loveliest
human beings that have ever been made
because they're slow and they're patient
and everything's just lovely
and let's just like sit on the porch
and, you know, drink peach tea
for the rest of our lives and like go slow.
Just go real slow.
Like let's sit and look at stuff.
Like let's sit on the porch and look.
Like look at stuff.
Like a car just drove by.
Great.
Like I mean that, you know,
is not interesting to me, either,
and so that exists.
So I actually think what I do exists a lot.
I think it's the likable, you know, aggressive person.
And that's, you know, they're out there
and there's a lot of winners that are good people.
I really think that.
If you look at my analogies,
the speed part is really valuable, right?
Like if you're speedy and selfish and impatient,
you know, I think the other thing about
the lack of patience and fast,
you don't have to be a bad person.
I think it leads to mistakes.
Right?
That's another variable layer here.
You know, it's funny that my brain
went that first narrative.
Here's a second narrative.
You're going fast, you're not patient,
so you rush the outcome
and you leave money on the table.
You sold a company too soon.
You weren't as profitable
as you could've been because you missed things
'cause you didn't see it 'cause you weren't tactful.
And so, you know, I think it has essence of strategy.
You know, somebody once said
to me about Vayner,
"Gary, you guys are so interesting."
He was trying to zing me a little bit,
that we weren't strategic enough.
He said, "You're so interesting,"
but he's like, "When you get into the house,
"I feel like a lot of times you guys
"just run through the glass window
"instead of opening the door."
It was a funny analogy.
And then I looked at him and said,
"Yeah, but we're gonna own all the homes."
(laughing offscreen)
I guess that's a good way to end it.
- [India] That's good.
- Cool.
Question of the day.
What are you,
India, you get to ask the question of the day.
I know, you knew it was gonna happen.
(India sighs)
(laughing offscreen)
- I don't really know what I wanna know.
What are your Memorial Day weekend plans?
You're gonna hate it.
You hate it.
- It's almost weirdly the thing I was gonna do.
- What really?
- Yeah.
You keep asking questions.
India will keep telling me to answer them.
- I will.
(laughing offscreen)
- Let's do it.
We can maybe turn this.
Yeah?
- [India] You said you wanted to make a video, too.
- Cool, so let's do it.
(laughing offscreen)
- [Steve] You can't have nice things.
(upbeat music)