that's amazing that you took took that from it and I appreciate you telling me
this because and I've never talked about this before but I always just to myself
in my head battle with the classic you know the nice guys finish last argument
because for my entire life my mom has always said you know you're your biggest
weakness and this was not in a negative way but more just just wanting to look
out for me you know being too trusting of people being too nice and so you know
kind of playing off this you know should I be a little more hardcore a little
more aggressive a little more not me because you know God need to be in this
world but you know I've I believe learn and realize over time that and this is
just me personally but you know I I do
you know deeply care about people and you know I I do feel like maybe I'm a
little t nice at times but you know for that one time every once in a while that
I might get walked all over you know there's a hundred times that I'm
thankful and I'm proud of myself for you know always you know really striving to
treat every single person no matter what the circumstance with love and respect
and now you know I'm starting to get a little bit of gray just turn thirty
looking over this long you know salty life I've had
looking back you know I do feel like now I'm finally starting to get to a place
where looking back I do realize that
it's not a bad thing at all to be if you want to say soft or a square or you know
whatever it is and you know in the times as a marine in Afghanistan when I've
needed to be when I was called upon when that was appropriate for that situation
in that mission and I feel like going into a room first with the saw you know
kicking in the door having a couple hand grenades on oh my oh my plate carrier
you know I that was me at that time but now I do feel like I've gotten it as far
as I have in life and I've done as well as I have obviously with the amazing
support team and the people that picked me up when I stumbled you know but aside
from that I do feel like my softness I guess has got me to an incredible place
in life you know this there's a saying which I was thinking of as you were
talking about that the saying is and I know you've heard it before because I
know I have the saying is don't mistake kindness for weakness and if you think
about why that saying exists that saying exists for two reasons one because
people do mistake kindness for weakness people see someone that's nice and kind
and they think oh that person's a pushover
so that's one reason that that statement exists the other reason that that
statement exists is they're saying don't do that because it's a mistake because
kindness is not weakness in fact kindness takes strength and when you
have that person that has that internal fortitude and they have the the
self-assurance that they don't need do you know what makes someone walk around
with their chest you know pushed out acting like they're tough most the time
those tough guys are acting like they're tough because they're insecure about
something that that's what's going on and so when people actually have when
people are kind it's because they're secure I can tell you like I try I train
jiu-jitsu I'm way nicer I would you know I started training jiu-jitsu when I was
I started training I was twenty something I became nicer and nicer and
nicer the more I trained jiu-jitsu because I realized oh yeah like I don't
need to act like a tough guy I don't need to walk around like I'm some
intimidating no it's like oh I know how to fight somebody wants to bother me
then I can handle it but I really don't want to because I don't need to right so
I think that idea of mistaken kindness for weakness is there's a reason why
that term gets said and there's a reason why you you best he did that and the
other thing is you know when you just talked about well I'll say this kindness
may have a negative impact in the short term sometimes right I think that's what
you're talking about like hey sometimes oh oh this person
kind of got what they wanted in that immediate short-term thing right you
know somebody oh here's you know somebody cut in front of the line and
instead of me being like hey you know go to the back when it's like you know what
I'm not gonna say anything it's fine I know I think myself well that person's
probably to be somewhere who knows what they've got going on in
their life whatever they got kids and whatever so fine they might win in that
situation right there but over the long term being kind of people and helping
people out I mean look at the support network that you just talked about those
people were supporting you obviously they're doing it because they're good
people but they're also doing it because you're a good person you know in that
little extra effort when they say hey this guy's a good human being this guy
said hi to me this guy was nice to me this guy didn't flip out when I made a
mistake like okay the that long-term that kindness is gonna win every single
time and long-term like I said short-term there's gonna be some some
jerk that's gonna walk around and push around it's like okay
everyone just saw what just happened and when you come back here into the store
or into the situation and you want a little extra help from somebody it's
just you're not gonna get what you want you know I I used to I was the Admirals
aide for a while and I used to have to book us travel yeah no pressure no
pressure and just sit just send me back to Iraq oh man yeah I'm not logistical
plane tickets I was a cat harpy but you know he's a great guy a nice guy but you
know you want to take care of the boss's guy that's in charge of all the seals
and I want to make his life easy so I would be booking travel and you know
we'd get bad seats like on an aircraft and I would call up the the dang help
desk of Delta or of America whoever whatever airline and I would spend at
least the first like two minutes of saying hey how you do you know they'd
say how can I help you and I'd say oh how you doing I'm just setting up some
travel and I'd make some little small talk and I'd be nice to him
and I guarantee you like the chances of success when you were just nice to
people just just just be nice to him and they'd say well you know the first
responsibilities know the seats are booked I'm like I'd say you know ah Wow
is there anything I could do because I got my bar oh I'd usually complain about
my boss that's how I would connect with them I'd say you know my boss is gonna
work for this guy he's can be a bit harsh which was actually not true so
it's telling a little white lie but they could relate as soon as they related to
me as like someone that was just a work and ugh like they were they'd say ah you
know what I can get you an upgrade or hey let me get you a window or whatever
and they just take care of me just by being nice you know whereas I guarantee
you you get on the phone with someone at an airline and you start saying look I
booked these seats two weeks ago do you need to give me the seat I want there's
no possibility on the next slide you're on the next one
c-47 throw here in the car goes so yeah but you know that's a year exactly right
away and I couldn't have said it better and with all that said I always kind of
forget like you know the biggest piece of this and you know I don't after
getting hit with a grenade you know it's it's okay people think I'm nice I feel
like hopefully that in itself gives me a little bit of street cred you know yeah
that gives you some cred I guess