chef i'm sorry i don't know if you like
the dish or not
you don't know if i like the dish or not
well let's put it this way
pack your knives get out you're off the
[Music]
show
today on judge jesse judge jesse turns
up the heat you signed a piece of paper
he gave you the snake then you bring a
snake into the home
with two small chihuahuas i had not been
made aware that the snake would get rid
of his skin
and then the sprinklers came down with
the snake skin ruined my carpet
what what set off the sprinklers
unrelated popcorn fire your honor
judge jesse has a police officer
he defended the streets as a trial
lawyer
objection he fought for the truth
as a black belt
he mastered discipline as a carpenter
he learned the value of craftsmanship
as a surgeon he mastered a cool head
as a crackhole he learned to go
days without sleep and as an announcer
he does the voice over
on this show coming up on judge jesse
mr simmons before you speak i know from
experience that the police have
completely mishandled your case and
there's a legal precedent for you to win
and any good defense attorney would have
told you that
i also know that obviously the place
where you hurt your back wasn't
structurally up to code mr oyama and
furthermore as a sensei you should know
a man of his skill set cannot do a
mychiagi you should know that obviously
i can tell by looking at your alignment
that you've herniated a disc
some place in your l4 or your l5 i'm
fighting for the plaintiff not 2500
2700 mr oyama thank you your honor
you're quite welcome
judge jesse dusty got a second
[Music]
we met b-boy joseph in atlanta ga hi
joseph what's up stop the music
[Music]
has he started yeah i'm pretty sure this
is it
[Music]
thank you yeah thank you
yeah i ain't done yet though thank you
joseph it's it's
definitely a no for me it's a no i'm
sorry
no all right thank you joseph thank you
because you know i ain't got no formal
training no nothing like that i learned
on the streets
that was very impaired as it turns out
joseph so
thank you for coming you know that my
mama's on drugs and my daddy in jail
it's not not really relevant born in a
coffee can under a bridge
that's terrible joseph that's that's
awful but it's not going to my sister
shot my brother while my cousin beat my
uncle
okay now you know it's a little bit much
joseph thank you very much but
put myself through school by renting my
body out as a heroin suitcase
all right wow i see what's going on
jesse please we we do have other dancers
here today who are waiting their turn
very politely no joseph let her come on
stage let her come
no joseph if i won this competition i
could put a roof over my house
cause i got a house ain't got no roof
for real though joseph
just one little thing though don't do it
joseph
it was a loud bridge don't finish that i
got hearing damage in this area
joseph and also in this area the bridge
have trucks go over it just because the
bridge
keep it 15 ton hold it put it in your
mouth
and get off my stage rated six joe
that's a big truck seth okay joseph
please
and who is this oh who is this right
here
this is my 12 year old daughter who i
raise all by myself without the help of
anybody else in the entire world she is
my inspiration
joseph it doesn't matter there's nothing
you can do or say
that's going to make us change our minds
today now right there that right there
that's her daughter
she blind come on
so i'll raise them both by myself
without nobody else's help come get your
ticket to vegas
good job can you believe it i'm getting
gooses up again i'm getting gooses i i
am
drew come forward
chef this is a chicken quiche with
cremini mushrooms baby spinach and feta
cheese
[Music]
unbelievable
[Music]
well drew i have a huge problem with
this dish
it's that you haven't made it for me
sooner
thank you chef because if you had drew
then i would know how good you are at
cooking food that's bad
i'm sorry chef and when i say bad i mean
michael jackson bad
thank you chef you know how he looked
really really bad at the end of his life
chef i'm sorry i don't know if you like
the dish or not
you don't know if i like the dish or not
well let's put it this way
pat your knives get out you're off the
show
sorry chef because
you should be working in the finest
restaurant in the world
thank you chef just not any world that i
live in
sorry because frankly drew i'm jealous
of you
thank you sure and your ability to not
give a
about what you cook this
[Music]
is not fit for human consumption no
this should be eaten by a higher life
form
with a more complex palette but also an
altruistic drive to save humanity from
dishes
like this joking not you just have to
die
so you won't have to endure a life in
which you will never exceed
what you have achieved here today
thank you chef
[Music]
in conclusion
as don's week at the warehouse was
wrapping up it was time to come clean
with his employees
actually everybody uh got an
announcement to me don't nobody want to
hear your bull
newbie okay don't nobody want to hear it
i think you will care about this one so
uh gather around
i'm not actually a new employee you
could say that again you're a waste of
space as far as i'm concerned
can't get another done in time like like
a snail over here
i am actually
president of the company you're on
undercover boss
tv show yeah what in this
week since i've been working here
amongst you i uh got to hear each and
every one of your stories
it's just about and uh you know i was
just playing right you know
i was just trying to lighten the mood in
the workplace and whatnot okay thank you
joseph
bill buddy
you're telling me that your car broke
down and it hasn't been working right
ever since well
i want to get you a new ford explorer
oh my god thank you so much mark that
means
so much to me my whole family died in
one day
thank you huge car crash huge man we
were having a family picnic
and then this truck just came on through
and just killed everybody it chopped
everyone's heads off illinois
you were worried that you were not going
gonna be able to afford college for your
two
two boys and uh i'm starting a college
fund
for them both putting ten thousand
dollars in each one of them
this is amazing i'm so grateful
i i can't make no family anymore because
my dick got chopped up in the accident
and now i pee out the side
sometimes i wake up in the middle of
night i just i start to pee
let's go right in my mouth sometimes
poop come out the other side i don't
even know what
dick is in eight pieces okay you know
just give me a raise i ain't asking for
no kind of scholarships
joseph i'm gonna get i'm gonna go and
get to you right now okay dude i
mentioned i was a prostitute since the
age of 17
15 joseph 10 chelsea seven chelsea three
childhood prostitutes since i was three
i was in
i was a prostitute in the womb i do put
his pp in my my mama
and they got inside of me and then and
they gave me money joseph
please man you have been rude to me
since the moment i came here
come on man i mean i was playing with
you dawg i knew you was the boss the
whole time man look at this fake ass
mustache
that's my real mustache joseph it really
hurt
you're fire get out of here i can't
understand what
get out of here i got a i got a rare
condition that make me unlikable don't
you don't joseph
pants lance you've been in the urinal
with me you see me in the urinal
i'm sorry but do not engage kill them
don't send pieces joseph
leave lancelot it's true so then give me
a little bit of money no it's not gonna
happen can i have a
joseph he did he did joseph
leave norman out of this who's norman
the foreman
norman the foreman that's his name
i know that i work intimately with him
no you don't you're fired
all right i'm going all right out the
door with you joseph
i am sorry about that ah is he gone
okay uh betty
when you told me that your father passed
away
it hit me because my father passed away
but my dick got chopped up dough joseph
my dick got chopped that is so
disrespectful joseph what are you doing
i thought you left joseph
like gristle off a thanksgiving turkey
you're lying and i got a crystal dick
tell us if that's wildly inappropriate
straight meat gristle
this is hanging out here right here
right now you can't see it
coming up you know you have so many
siblings and just to know
that we both share a familial bond and
that there's nothing that can take that
away
but my dick got chopped up joseph where
how did you
me