- Here we go!
(ominous music)
- Ooh.
An apple.
- Get him!
- This one is for Kevin!
- Well, you can have my pig.
You can turn him into bacon.
- Hey!
- Super Smash?
- [Hand] Flick!
(tree rustling)
(Stan grunting)
- It's true.
I am a bat who rhymes to help us through these trying times.
- Okay. This dude is annoying.
(bat squeaks)
(upbeat music)
- Carrots, carrots, carrots, carrots.
- Sir!
(light music)
(zombie clicking)
- Hmm, this one's a tough one. (yells)
- Get the hell off of me.
Ooh a carrot!
(cow grunts)
- Phew, okay.
- Refunds are not available and Porkchop's Potions
is not responsible for any poisoning
or reduced attack damage.
- Check it out.
Sliced ham.
Why are their heads so big?
- They'll grow into them.
- Luckily, my swiftness and agility
will allow me to (yells).
Where the heck have you been?
- In the mountains with my llama friends.
This is my lifestyle now.
- You, say something!
- Bees are dying at an alarming rate.
- See? That's just you.
- Tell him he's good, Stan.
- That was, you know, you're really saying the words.
- I got this.
♪ Oh no ♪
♪ Oh no no no no no ♪
(Pig thumps)
- Dammit, Staniel!
- Aha!
A brick of mossy stone.
(metal clinks)
- Wait a second.
I've never seen a pink block like this before.
- [Person] Oh my God, what is that?
Oh my God.
What is that?
- Holy creep, it's a crapper.
Wow.
Sea horses.
(horses neigh)
- We're gonna be hoeing all summer long.
Hoeing all summer long.
- And you'll never destroy the enchanted staff
of the Nameless One.
- Hey, should this guy be giving away all this information?
(light music)
- Release your baby, terrible zombie parents.
- Don't got to travel when we got the gravel.
(explosion booms)
- That rhyme made literally zero sense.
- Oh God, a witch
Throat punch!
- Stupid cave, stupid cave!
- Obsidian, light, less calories.
Also quicker to mine.
(metal clanks)
- That's a fine birch door, you've got there, Staniel.
(dogs growling)
- Oh they're just playing.
- Strider to the rescue!
(body clicks)
- I'm gonna go get high by climbing
to the top of this mountain range.
- Screw you, cat, I need this milk.
- Do we have a plan or?
- Let's go. (water splashes)
- Last time we all hung out, you tossed Stan
into a lake of lava.
- Good times.
- Brings me back to my college days.
I really destroyed a lot of brew back then if you what I'm.
- Relaxation on a bacon vacation.
- What a beautiful day for a walk.
- Especially when you're broke and have nowhere else to go.
- That's the spirit.
- We're not losers.
- Shut up, loser.
- Me neither.
Until I went to the pool with your mom.
(zombie grunting)
- This could work.
We use this piece of wood as a sled and slide right past it.
- It's a shield, idiot.
- They're really not that bad
when they can't piss you off or anything.
Hey, stop chewing my grass!
- I'm sure you idiots will destroy it sooner or later.
- Let's go destroy it.
- Baby zombie!
- (laughs) Oh man.
That was great!
- How about you put down a bed next to it,
so it falls asleep?
- Perfect.
We strike it when it's defenseless.
- Wait, no.
- They died doing what they love.
Snorting loudly in a hole.
- Look how cute that thing is.
Can I hold him?
- Of course.
(piano music)
- This place is gonna be a mansion.
Oh my God, spider!
- We're gonna get murdered.
- The Rock O'llama.
And you, O'llama Bin Laden.
- I swear, once I learn how to craft weapons,
I'm gonna kill, ow, ow, ow.
Dammit!
- Jello Puddin'.
Say the whole thing.
- Hi there, Jello Pudding.
- Puddin'.
- When I catch you, I'm gonna mace you good!
(shoes clank)
- We don't have time to rest.
We've only been at this for--
- [Man] Time stamp of the video.
- Long time, no see, man.
What you've been up to?
- Oh, you know, robbing, killing, the usual.
- Nice, nice.
- You know, exploring is great, but--
- Agreed!
Exploring is great.
- Just gonna stock up on food.
Sorry, buddy.
(explosion booming)
- She didn't cast, a spirit of Herobrine will consume
your soul in an all-encompassing void of darkness.
Finding the saddle is just half the battle.
- [Chicken] Please shut up.
- Well, no better option than a battle through him.
- Okay.
(animals groaning)
- I'm internally conflicted.
- Diamond boots!
- God dammit.
- What'd you get?
- Paper
Blank sheets of paper.
- I'm getting a bad omen from this pig.
Perhaps it's the bad omen sign above his head.
- Hey, mind your own business, Unibrow.
- Well, I'll just chip away at this stone
and make it a little wider. (yells)
- And this ground block, what's it made of?
Mm, cinnamon.
- Wow.
If his head was just a little less wide,
he would've survived that.
- You'll never reach me all the way up here. (yells)
Don't worry.
Once I build this portal,
we'll be in an exciting new location.
(circus music)
That was actually pretty easy.
Oh my God.
(creature yells)
- Staniel grows more powerful by the day.
It's only a matter of time before, ooh bunny!
(Link yelling)
- Why does everyone want to kill me today?
- You seem like you've been smoking the devil's lettuce.
- Yeah, he's got a house down here.
So it's pretty easy to get.
(zombie yells)
- Dude.
You heard him.
He wasn't evil anymore.
- He doesn't have to be evil.
I still don't like him.
(intense music)
- Oh, (beep).
- Human ingenuity always prevails.
(arrows clicking)
- I mined wood with a pickax.
(group gasps)
- You sick bastard.
- Bread, bread, more bread.
This is not gonna be good for my low carb diet.
- My house is awesome.
It's huge.
I can literally fall off a cliff inside my house and die.
- Weird flex, but okay.
- Thank you.
- Oops.
I meant to shoot you guys.
- Dammit! (yells)
Must stuff face while I run away. (grunts)
- There's no such thing as cave cows.
- Shh, Stan doesn't know that.
You want to be turned into chicken Parmesan?
- What could be inside?
- Bread and arrows, like always.
- It is bread and arrow.
- I used all my cobblestone
on that stupid statue of myself.
Oh well, worth it.
- [Chicken] Why do we hang out?
The world is infinitely expanding.
- Building houses is boring.
- Here, play with this.
- Ooh.
- There's something I've always wanted to tell you.
You're kind of (beep).
- So like in the side of the cliffs?
- Dude, I don't know.
I'm a (beep) chicken.
- Oh man.
All that animal murder has really made me sleepy.
(light music)
I'm obsessed with your melons.
- We're a gang all on the road.
A brotherhood to the death.
- I hate both of these guys.
- And if I put this chest next to my other chest.
Dun dun dun.
Mega chest!
(light music)
- Please come get us.
(zombie growling)
(Stan yelling)
Nevermind, he's dead.
- You should be thankful for the things we have,
like this bone meal and this spider eye.
- Put on your iron helmet.
- No dude, I looked stupid in that thing.
- Put it on, Stanthony.
(Stan growls)
- Here's an apple.
Okay, now let's,
(horse growls)
Well now you're just being difficult.
- It's pretty dark in here.
- Good.
It makes it harder to see the ugliness.
- Wait a second.
I see a beach just off the north side.
I'm beach bound, baby.
- Oh, well I do love a good sunrise. (yells)
- What the hell are you looking at?
No, I'm literally not sure what you're looking at.
- You're in, good hands
- All right, that wasn't too difficult.
Let's explore.
- Sorry.
This adventure's over.
(lava splashes)
(upbeat chill music)