We've got something in mind.
The thing is, we hadn't forgotten it was his birthday.
And with him gone, we could shoot ahead...
and set up his surprise party.
Balloons coming in.
Ooh, this is nice.
-(RADIO IN BACKGROUND) -Right, loosen it off.
And that will allow the prop shaft to settle where it wants to settle.
RICHARD: While the short-sighted orangutan ruined his car,
-I was busy in the kitchen. -(GRUNTS)
For Jeremy's birthday feast, I am preparing his favourite dish, spaghetti bolognese.
But as it's his birthday and as we are here, I'm gonna give it a Scottish twist.
Pasta and sauce are ready. He'd love that.
But now is where I give it a Scottish twist.
Pop it in, back for that in a minute.
-(PINGS) -Now, this should be ready.
Oh, yeah.
And this is where it gets Scottish.
Drop that as carefully as I can in there.
-Pop it in the oil. -(BUBBLING)
Oh, yeah.
Yes, I am doing that.
I'd say... that is ready.
Oh, yeah.
That will do nicely.
And there it is.
Spaghetti Mc-Bolognese.
JAMES: Whilst Richard was battering and deep-frying everything in sight...
In you go, my wee beauties.
...I was organising the guests,
who were now all here and waiting for the birthday boy.
Ooh, ooh, hello, here it is.
Here it is...
Oh, Countach,
Lancia 832,
There's obviously some kind of classic car meeting going on.
Oh, wait a minute.
I can't believe it.
I cannot believe it.
-You remembered. -Of course we remembered.
Actually, it's better than that, we're having a party for you.
No, but, James...
There's a classic car meet going on.
No, they're your guests.
For your birthday party.
-It's a 3.2 as well. -Ohhh.
You have invited classic car enthusiasts to my birthday party?
Italian classic car enthusiasts.
-Who will talk about differentials. -Yes.
-Production numbers and chassis numbers. -Yes, exactly.
I've gotta go and sort out the music, so I'll see you in a bit.
-Music? -Yeah.
It's a party.
JEREMY: As it turned out, the classic car enthusiasts were lovely people.
With some even lovelier cars.
Look at that.
D'you know, I've never driven an 832.
However, talking to them proved to be quite tricky.
Were they not on their way to America and then got here and just thought, this'll...
-(BAGPIPES START UP) -...do.
(PLAYING TUNELESSLY) ♪ Happy Birthday
Still, it could be worse. And then it was.
Because it was time to sit down for Richard's Scottish dinner.
Battered spag bol, followed by a deep-fried cake.
-(BAGPIPES CONTINUE, TUNELESSLY) -(POPPER BANGS)
And then, to round off the evening...
-(TAPPING) -Oh, no.
...James made an interesting speech...
about all the cars I'd owned.
...to your ears as car enthusiasts, is it not?
But quite soon, Jeremy moved on from the VW Scirocco GLi mark 1
to a VW Scirocco GTi mark 2.
The registration number of which was...
Now I've never known whether you had the manual gearbox
or the first generation F1 semi-automatic shift. Which was it...
Very keen for you to know that it wasn't a CSi, it was a CSL,
the difference being...
chromed wheel arch extensions
..traditionalist at heart, as he is today, drives a VW Golf GTI in grey.
-You missed the CLK Black. -Jeremy Clarkson...
-The what? -You missed the CLK Black.
No, it's not on this list. Which researcher put together
this list of Jeremy's cars through the ages?
You didn't even write the speech?
Course I didn't.
This is the worst birthday party I've ever had.
Come on, we made an effort. Anyway, shall I get the bagpipes?