♪♪
I'm gonna hit this button right here,
and this will activate a random-word generator.
It'll land on three random words,
and it's your job to work all three of them
into a freestyle rap.
-Oh, my God. -Wait.
That's fun. Come on, it'll be fun.
I promise. It won't be odd words.
They're just written by our comedy writers,
so good luck with whatever comes up here.
And let's see what the words are.
Here we go.
[ Beeping ]
-Oh, my God. [ Laughter ]
What? -These are hexagon, yeti --
Yeti could be either the -- you know, it's like Bigfoot,
or it's also a cooler. -Okay.
-Edible Arrangement. You know those.
They're the -- They have little molded fruits.
Cantaloupes and pineapples in it.
-Yes. -Some flowers. Okay, good.
Uh, okay. So, those are the three things.
I'm trying to give you a little time so you can...
-I have to -- I have to go first?
Wait a minute. -There is no one going second.
This is it. [ Laughter ]
This is first and last. -Okay.
All right. Wait. Hold on.
-Roots, can we get a beat
so we can start and play with this?
-What camera do I look into? -You can look into that one.
-Okay. Unh.
Oh, Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Hey.
Go, New York. What's up, New York?
Make some noise right now.
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪ Unh, six sides, that's the hexagon ♪
♪ I'm the big homie, Megatron ♪
♪ These girls can't see me like the yeti ♪
♪ All these girls gas like Getty ♪
♪ I am Miss Petty ♪
♪ And it's going down ♪
♪ Basement ♪ ♪ I be like ♪
♪ Eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it ♪
♪ Edible Arrangement ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
Come on!
-I'm so happy you're here. Thank you so much.
I know we love your music. We'll get into this.
But I also want to say I loved your acting in
"The Other Woman" with Cameron Diaz.
-Thank you. -Oh, my gosh.
You were so funny in that and so good and so well done.
And you were her assistant in the movie,
with the terrible attitude.
And -- [ Laughter ]
-Nothing like me in real life. -Yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah.
Were you like that when you had other jobs besides rapping?
-Yes. -Really?
-Mm-hmm. -Where else did you work?
-Well, I was an office manager and, you know,
I kind of would call out anytime I wanted.
And then, when I was a waitress, I was really, really...
to the customers.
-Oh, my gosh! -What?
-You were a waitress?
I couldn't imagine that you would be -- Yeah.
And you were like, "No." Where did you wait?
-Just everywhere in New York.
I waited -- I probably waited on people in this audience,
as a matter of fact.
-Yeah. [ Cheers and applause ]
-So, hi.
If you've ever eaten at Red Lobster,
I probably took your order.
Has anyone -- Anyone here?
-Yeah, yeah. They'll be right out.
Your lobster will be right out, sir.
So, that's what made you who you are.
-Yep.
-That's what started "The Pinkprint."
-That's what made me want to hurry up and follow my dream,
because I was like, "Oh, my God.
This is not for me.
I got to hurry up and get out of here before it's too late."
You know what I mean? -Yeah.
-Seriously. -Really? Is that right?
-Yeah.
-And then but did you want to be an actor
or you knew you wanted to be a singer or a rapper?
-I went to school for acting, so I wanted to be an actress,
actually, first.
And then -- Well, and then I wanted to sing,
but I thought that was a little bit boring.
And then I wanted to rap because I thought it was
what the dudes were doing, and I felt like, you know,
if I could do what the guys did, I would be, like, cooler.
And so I just started, like, sharpening my skills with rap.
[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪
-Let's do this.
-You're getting woke.
♪♪
-Hey, I'm here with the one-and-only Nicki Minaj,
and we are going on a dinner date to Red Lobster.
-Yeah. -I'm very excited for this.
I've never, ever been to Red Lobster ever.
I don't know why. Our paths never crossed.
You've been there. You actually --
You worked there at one point?
-I have worked at a couple different Red Lobsters,
and I've gotten fired from all three or four of them.
[ Laughter ]
-Well, I'm sorry to bring that up,
but we're gonna have fun tonight!
-Yay!
♪♪
Oh, hello!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Oh, this is really good.
-Alright, one of these.
First things first. We need a drink, right?
-Yes. -What was your drink --
Well, you didn't drink while you were on the job,
but what was your favorite drink that you served?
Or that we know -- [ Laughter ]
-I always liked this thing called Red Passion Colada.
But they don't have red Alizé anymore.
Therefore, I cannot get it.
The other good thing is a Lobsterita.
-Lobsteritas?
♪♪
-Here we go, guys. Lobsteritas, frozen strawberry.
You got it, Nicki? -Thank you. Yes.
-Awesome. -Thank you so much!
-Are you joking me? -I am not joking.
-No, you're absolutely joking me.
-There you are, Jimmy. -Oh, my God. Thank you.
-Enjoy. -It is so good.
You paying? -I'm definitely getting an Uber.
I know that. -But are you paying?
-Yeah, of course. -Okay. Thank you.
-Please, this is -- -I ain't got no money
to spending all this money at no Red Lobster, child.
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
Let's act like we're on a blind date.
-This is great.
-How do you like your Lobsterita?
-I'm really having a good time tonight.
-Thanks.
-I like the Lobsterita, but I like the view even more.
[ Laughter ]
-Of me? -No, yeah.
We're pretending we're on a blind date.
-[ Laughs ]
-I haven't dated in a long time. [ Laughs ]
Can I have more of that?
♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-I have some biscuits for you.
Enjoy. Those are our Cheddar Bay Biscuits.
They're delicious.
-Let me talk about this, because I worked at Red Lobster,
and I know everything about every food here.
So, this is handmade
by a bunch of African people in the back.
[ Laughter ]
This is a Cheddar Bay Biscuit toast.
You got to go like this, 1, 2, 3, pssh!
-This is absolutely fantastic. -Told you!
-Then you can go like this, too.
1, 2, 3, and then in your mouth.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Mmm! -That's a good biscuit.
-Okay. But my pet peeve is when people ask for extra biscuits.
Please do not ask for more biscuits,
'cause I will slap you.
-Can we have more biscuits?
'Cause that is what I really want.
♪♪
I love it. D-Lob. That's what I call it.
-D-Lob? -Yeah.
If you're been here enough, you call it D-Lob,
and then, dude -- And then S-Fish, live.
They want you to live. -[ Laughs ]
-So I love it. I get it. Look at this.
Are you kidding me? Hey, wait a sec.
A-hole fish?
Oh, a whole fish.
-How are we doing? Are we ready to order?
-Two ultimate feasts, and there's other things.
-And I want to add Cajun chicken pasta to mine.
-Okay. Awesome.
-She's gonna add just some stuff.
♪♪
-Oh, my God. This is a lot of food.
-What do we do first? -I like fried shrimp,
so we can do the toast and dump it in your tartar sauce
like we did the other thing.
So you go, 1, 2, 3, dip.
-Uh-huh.
-What the hell are you doing?!
[ Laughter ]
-Ooh. [ Coughs ]
[ Laughter ]
You saved my life. You saved my life today.
♪♪
-Now, I'm gonna show you how to crack this, okay?
-Yep. -You just go like this.
Well, let's start with the legs, maybe.
And you go like this. And you squeeze...
Oh, God. Um...
[ Laughter ]
-Wow. I can't believe you got fired.
[ Laughter ]
-But, see, that's why I like the ultimate feast,
'cause it's already done for you.
-Oh, that's right. You go ultimate feast...
-Yeah. -...then you can just...
Ah, and splitskis? -Yes. Sure.
-Come on. Cheers.
-Mmm! So good.
-I mean, come on. -So good.
Aren't you happy you came here for the first time in your life?
-Can we have more biscuits?
Ah, man.
♪♪
So, tell me why you got fired from Red Lobster.
-I walked up to this lady.
Her and her boyfriend had walked out of the restaurant
and they took my pen and they didn't tip me.
I walked to the car, I banged on the car window,
and I said, "Give me my pen!"
-So far, it sounds like that's not a big deal.
-I started going like this...
[ Laughter ] -Yeah, you're number one.
-You're number one. You're number one, as well.
-And my manager fired me on the spot.
-Tell the manager, "Hey,
I was trying to get restaurant property back
'cause they stole your pen."
♪♪
Oh, you know what we should do?
Do you want to do, like, "Lady and the Tramp"-style?
-No. -Okay.
[ Laughter ]
Now, I know you got fired from Red Lobster,
and I think right now it's time for a little redemption,
a little Red Lobster redemption. -Okay.
-Upstairs, there's people waiting for food.
They have no idea that we're here.
Let's go serve some food to these great people here.
-Oh, my God. Are you serious?
-Let's get the uniforms. -Yes.
♪♪
-Oh, my God.
-Is everybody enjoying their food?
-Yeah. -Yeah.
-This reminds me of when I was in college
'cause I had muscles and I also had crabs once.
[ Laughter ]
-Oh, my God. -Alright, here we go.
Hi, guys! -My name is Nicki.
I'm your server for the day. Nice to meet you.
-Trinidad?! [ All cheering ]
-Trinidad! -My country!
My country is in the building!
-I brought you a special drink. It's a little rum and Coke.
Let me take a taste test just for a second.
-Whoa. What now? [ Laughter ]
-Oh, my God. I'm so sorry, you guys.
-Can we get one more rum and Coke, please?
Thank you very much.
-Oh, my God. Don't eat people's biscuits!
What is wrong with -- I'm so sorry, you guys.
-That's okay. It's okay. -All yours. All yours.
-So, can I get you guys anything?
-Are you eating your biscuit with a fork and knife?
-Get out of Red Lobster. -Oh, my God. You cannot do this.
This is too classy for Red Lobster.
-Get out of Red Lobster.
All right, Nicki, you've proven yourself.
You redeemed yourself.
We've talked to everyone here at Red Lobster,
and we have something special for you --
The first and only black card.
You get free Cheddar Bay Biscuits for life.
-Oh, my God. This is the nicest thing anyone's ever given me.
-No, no, no. -Thank you.
-I also tracked the people down
and I got your pen back. [ Laughter ]
Redemption. -You're amazing.
-You've been redeemed. I love you.
-I love you. Mwah! Thank you so much!
[ Laughs ] -Oh, so much!
She's getting choked up! Oh, my God!
Oh, let's get the basket of biscuits.
Oh, it's a basket of biscuits. -What are you guys, insane?
What the hell is this, y'all? -We love you, Red Lobster.
Let's get in the limo. Let's go. -Oh, my God.
-Let's go. We gotta go. We gotta go.
[ Cheers and applause ]
"Anaconda" alone -- that single went, like --
What was it?
Quadruple platinum or something crazy.
It sold like a gazillion copies.
-No, "Anaconda" went double platinum.
-Come on! That is insane. -Double platinum, yeah.
-That's double platinum. That's more than one platinum.
That's -- [ Laughter ]
Sorry. They didn't even hire me at Red Lobster.
I was trying to -- But, seriously,
do you know how giant that is?
The YouTube video alone has got over 335 million hits.
-That's insane. [ Cheers and applause ]
Why does anyone want to watch it, like, that much?
It's weird, right?
-Why do you think people want to watch that
"Anaconda" music video of you?
-I have no idea. [ Laughter ]
-Dancing around.
Bumpin' and grindin' and all that stuff.
[ Laughter ]
It... [ Cheers and applause ]
-Oh, the band think it's real funny.
The band think it's real funny.
-Between us, it's 100 million right there.
[ Laughter ]
But, look, also on this record,
you got Drake, Lil Wayne, Chris Brown, Beyoncé.
By the way, I saw you do a little Beyoncé on
"Saturday Night Live."
-Yeah.
-Gosh, you were fantastic on that.
-Thank you. -And I know you know Beyoncé.
But I saw she put out an Instagram of you,
a picture of you from your high school
on her Instagram account.
There it is.
Onika. -Onika, yes.
-Onika right there.
See, that's not an embarrassing photo of you.
That's -- You're gorgeous. -Oh, thanks.
-You should see my high-school photo.
I'm gonna put it in and post after the show,
and you'll see what a bad high-school photo is.
-I would love to see yours.
Yes, make me feel better, 'cause I do hate this picture.
-You do? -Yes. Ew!
-Oh, my gosh.
That is so not "ew." That is, like, gorgeous.
[ Cheers and applause ]
You're so good-looking!
There's me right there. -Oh, my God!
-Hey, take it off!
That's enough! -No!
-43 million hits on YouTube.
-You look really nice. -Yeah, yeah.
Oh, my God.
You got to sharpen up those acting skills there.
Yeah, I didn't believe you there.