I like to call this look, the it's too f**king hot outside
I don't give a f**k, don't judge me special
What up internet, Corrine here, and you're watching Corrine vs...
cooking? Pin?
I don't really know anymore... Chocolate? Sure!
Let's go with that... Corrine vs. Chocolate!
Now some of you may already know, that
white chocolate is... not my favorite thing in the world
Well I have, ANOTHER truth bomb to drop on you
Milk chocolate sucks too!
Yeah, I said it!
If I'm going to consume chocolate,
I want it to be dark and bitter
Like my heart
Some of you may be saying to yourself right now:
who gives a f**k?
I could care less about your god d*mn chocolate preferences
Well, there is a point, okay?
And that point is, is that a lot of you have been suggesting
that I try to make chocolate cigarettes?
And, I have a couple questions for you
What? And Why?
Yeah, I have no idea what the f**k a chocolate cigarette is
so, I had to look that sh*t up
I found several different variations of them
The first being a very fancy French technique
involving a marble slab
These are pretty cool, I guess
They're used for decorating cakes
but, I wouldn't really call it a cigarette.
Next, I found this YouTuber, who tries to replicate
the chocolate cigarette candy that was very popular in the 1950s
She does a pretty good job!
And actually puts in a bunch of effort into creating packaging
and all that jazz
But, I still don't get the point
You gotta peel paper off the chocolate if you wanna eat it
I don't like it!
Lastly, there's this guy
who just basically reviews a chocolate flavored cigarette
Now I think it is my DIY duty
...duty...
to try to replicate all three of these things
So let's get started shall we? Hahahahahaha *cough cough cough*
That's what happens when smoke too many chocolate cigarettes, kids.
Okay, alright, okay
So the first thing I had to do was order a marble slab
because... I don't have one of those!
and none of the stores in my general vicinity... carried them
thank god for prime shipping because... this sh*t is heavy as f**k!
#NotSponsored... by the way
As I mentioned before... it's f**king hot outside right now
And that doesn't really bode well for... chocolate projects
So, I got my A/C pumping,
and I'm dealing with this sh*tty air conditioner situation because I live in a hundred year old house
It's also humid as f*ck outside,
so, I'm really not sure if this is gonna work
We're gonna give it the old college try though!
Hey Rob... I don't even know how the f*ck he's sitting outside...
Are you hot?
Rob: It's a little humid out...
Corrine: You've been wearing that shirt for like three days...
Alright, I got my chocolate here
And now I just have to melt it, and then you're suppose to wait a while
and stir it to where it cools down enough not to f*cking burn your lip like an idiot
Yeah, I think I have to wait a little while longer
MmHmm, that's a little better, but jeez this sh*t is terrible tasing
Hmm, maybe a 100% cacao is not the right decision
I didn't really understand that when I was buying this stuff hehehe
Because that means there's no sugar in it
I get it now... Whoops!
So I'm just going to keep stirring and stirring, and
this is pretty much my sad attempt at tempering chocolate
I'm sure there's probably better ways to do this, but you can make your own god d*mn YouTube video!
If you have a problem with it
I also wasn't really sure how cool I was supposed to let it get
I guess this is good? Sure. Why not?
Now I'm just going to slather it on the marble slab, as concisely as I can muster
but you know what? This looks like sh*t. Like literal shit.
And now that's all I can think about. Poop on a marble slab
Chocolatiers must have the minds of steel
because I don't think I would be able to do this job on a daily basis
without constantly reverting to five year old poop jokes
It also is not hardening at all so... I think that's a problem
Rob mentioned maybe putting it in the fridge, but you know what? This thing's not going to fit in the f*cking fridge.
So, I'm going to turn on my f*cking, amazing, DIY, ingenuity, and try it again
on the back of a cooking tray, sheet, thing... What is this called, anyway?
Now, I'm just going to pop it in the freezer for a bit!
One of those motherf*ckers right there, dude...
Trying to block my passage!
F*ck you, motherf*cker!
Hey, can you get the thing for me? Thanks... You're the best!
There's a big one over in the corner...
Rob: Oh yeah, he's moving... He's on the move! He's on the move!
Rob: What do you need me to do?
Corinne: Uhm get the thing... here you can just pass it to me, over the freezer
Rob: Oh, he's a big one
Corinne: Yeah that one's a big one
Hehe, like a bunny!
Rob: Both of these things?
Corrine: Just the one, the other one's left over from the mirror cake
Thanks!
Uh, hm... I don't think it being all dewy is a good sign
because as we all know, water and chocolate don't really get along
Maybe if I just wipe it down a bit? Sure! Okay! Here we go! This is exciting!
Time to use the scraper and well, heh, I don't really know why I was so confident; this didn't work at all!
Maybe the stuff on the marble slab hardened some? Um, nope, ok, well f*ck!
Guess I have to move onto the good old suckin' it into a straw approach!
Even though plastic straws, are the devil
Yeah! And now into the freezer they go!
After I put the straws in the freezer, I went to bed, because I was tired
I woke up this morning and I found that the chocolate had hardened
I left the air conditioner on all night because it was hot as a motherf*cker in here
So I'm thinking I should have waited a little longer before I scraped the chocolate off the marble slab
But I think it's not usable anymore for tempering because it's what the chocolatiers called "bloomed"
So I'm gonna go out and get some more chocolate from my favorite tea shop
because they sell the best chocolate in the whole wide world
That's right, I got my vegan, gluten-free, low glycemic, 88% cacao chocolates
cacao-wa bunga, am I right?
Ahem... Ahem-hem, yes
Now, I just have to melt this batch!
Ugh, yeah, this thing is so f*cking heavy!
I also have been letting the marble slab sit in the direct line of air conditioning to get it super cool
And learning from my prior mistakes, I'm going to let this batch cool a lot longer
Unfortunately, I think I waited just a little too long, because as soon as I put it on the slab,
it pretty much hardened right away, and I wasn't able to smooth it out as thin as I would have liked... and yeah...
Chocolate cigarettes were not achieved
I am feeling a little bit more confident now though
So, I'm melting this chocolate again, and giving it another go
Woo! Lifting this thing is a f*ckin' workout!
Okay, yeah, I didn't let the chocolate cool down as much this time
and you know what? It is smoothing out a lot easier
It just took a little longer for it to harden enough and, I kind of almost achieved, a spherical shape!
Pretty cool
The rest on the other hand, did not work out
One more try and I think I'll be able to pull it off!
Noooo. Actually. More like fail. At everything in life. This chocolate cigarette making process is beyond my f*cking reach
Let's see how those straws are doing, huh?!
Yep. Nice and hard
Now I just have to cut them down with an Exacto blade and then push the chocolate out of the straw with a bamboo skewer
It actually started melting super quickly, so I made sure to put it back in the freezer, as soon as I popped it out of the straw
Then, I released a few more from their straw chambers and very carefully wrapped each one of them
with the rolling paper
f*cking grills mcgills ya'll! By the way, I bought these specifically for this project, totally, don't usually have rolling papers
for anything...
Yeah! They look pretty good, don't they? I still don't get the point though... Still don't get the point.
Might be kinda funny if you pull one of these out of a real cigarette pack and just start eating it; paper and all
People will definitely think you are a little weird
I made these ones with the 100% cacao
Ok, so I know smoking is bad for you and everything, and you should never do it
but I would be remiss if I didn't try to roll up a real chocolate cigarette
So, I'm just gonna grind up some cacao nibs, and roll 'em on up!
Huh! I'm pretty good at this rolling stuff! Especially since this is my first time ever rolling up anything
This is making me a little light-headed
Yeah, man!
Sh*t!
Well, that's all for this week kids! As always, leave your project suggestions in the comments down below!
Yeah, make sure to like up this video, subscribe, and... follow me on snapchat
because I'm all up in that sh*t now!
The old are invading, watch out, kids! Until next time~