we've been having some technical
difficulties here at by-heart
headquarters so this week I'm finally
going to chime in on that whole I'm
scared we're all scared you tubing a
scary thing that started with
charlieissocoollike we're youtubers talk
about being afraid of sharing their
stuff and how much it hurts to read that
one negative comment in a sea of
adoration wait hold on there we go
and yes okay first of all there's no
such thing as negative comments or at
least YouTube hasn't implemented them
yet you might think they have negative
thumbs up because they have thumbs down
but they're clearly not equivalent
anyway I've spoken about artists stuff
before so today I want to talk about how
when a specific comment really gets to
you you probably have something to learn
about yourself and improve on so with no
further ado here is vie Hart's guide to
comments type number one the give me my
X minutes back these commenters do not
value their own time and making this
comment is a lie to themselves they
might even have liked your video and
there are other circumstances but
something about it reminded them that
they've been on YouTube for far longer
than they should have been by blaming
you it takes the blame off themselves
for wasting their own time and sets up a
future of voluntarily giving up their
personal responsibility they know if
they say I always did my own time the
correct follow-up is to go to something
productive but if it's you wasted my
time the natural follow-up is maybe this
cat video over here will be more
responsible with my time and maybe it
gives them warm fuzzy feels that makes
them forget the shame of choosing to
spend their lives on the path of least
resistance
if comments like this get to you it
could be a insecurity over how you spend
your own time I mean they think you
wasted their time and are ready tally a
ting by wasting your time with a stupid
comment but you actually create things
and there's a lot of demands on your
time and your time unlike theirs is
actually worth something right it galls
you that they would claim their time was
wasted and then follow up by wasting
more time commenting you would never do
that you unlike their stupid face spend
your time super wisely don't you
certainly you never choose to waste your
time reading and obsessing over negative
comments and you wish you'd never read
it in the first place and I want my X
minutes back be existential dread at
being reminded that you can't give them
their X minutes back no one can our
lives are finite and we are all going to
die
you feel alone in this thought because
the commenters wasting time like they do
don't seem to comprehend their own
mortality see more existential dread the
commenter doesn't seem to get that you
are a real person but you are totally a
person and it's uncomfortable to
remember that in other people's worlds
you don't exist or exist as a machine
for their entertainment and that
functionally might be true maybe they
can't use how to spend their own time
and you are deterministically doomed to
obsess over the comment forever anyway
if you come across a comment like that
the correct move is to let your eyes
flow right over it and on to the next
one type number two the direct and
shallow insult you sound annoying what's
wrong with your face
commenters like these are thoughtless
and bored and obviously don't have very
high self esteem they've been taught to
be normal so if anything's different
about you well that's not allowed in the
real book they know but in the anonymous
internet context I don't think the usual
explanation of them trying to put you
down to make themselves feel bigger
quite cuts it they probably don't see
you as a real live person and would
never make the comment to your face so
it's not about putting you down in fact
their comments aren't aimed at you at
all they comment to pretend that they're
not just wasting time on the internet
but being active participants discerning
in their tastes they're commenting
justifies their watching and just like
voting in American Idol or tweeting your
local news their opinion further invests
themselves into their identity as a
judge observer consumer they have been
taught to be vocally judgmental by the
people for whom judging means watching
and watching means money plus other
commenters might reply refuting their
insult which proves their comment
matters but if it matters to you my
fellow creator that says something about
you eh you might be uncomfortable with
the fact that from their subjective
viewpoints these things are true sure if
they only got to know you they'd realize
you're so cool but they made a surface
level judgement what if people in real
life think you're annoying and have a
weird face and you never knew it well
the truth is sometimes people probably
do but they don't say it because in real
life people know that we see strangers
differently than we see our friends that
the weirdness of your face is a
temporary artifact of stranger hood and
if they became your friend you'd
suddenly become charming B you might not
be secure in who you want to be you're
conditioned to react negatively to all
insults because back when people could
only insult you to your real life
insults meant personal dislike you know
you shouldn't care if a bully dislikes
you but until you sort out who you want
to be it's tough to figure out who else
matters who you admire enough that their
negative opinion might signify something
you want to change about yourself so you
err on the safe side and feel shame
whenever you don't live up to being
every single kind of person possible see
or it could be existential dread over
the thoughtless sheep-like behavior of
the masses pretending there is meaning
to their judgments the sound and fury
signifying nothing
in contrast to yourself who does real
meaningful work right anyway the correct
response to comments like those is to
let your eyes glide right past them and
on to the next type 3 the crazytown
super nuts bigotry festival ultra polite
intellectual put down or disappointed
high horse these are the same type of
comment made by the same type of
dissatisfied person who is prejudiced
against you who think they are superior
because of one thing they hold close to
their identity gender religion education
the clothes they wear or car they drive
general sense of entitlement they truly
think they are better by virtue of one
thing they are indignant that by all
appearances you or better than them
without it so they let everyone else
know it's a fart it's them that has that
quality not you the interesting thing is
how blind the commenter is to the fact
that their comment does not reflect well
on them these are the type of people who
follow up a sexist comment by saying but
come on we all know it's true because
they believe everyone is secretly sexist
that it raises their status and anyone
who disagrees is just doing it to be PC
someone says I wish I could have enjoyed
this but I just can't get past the way
you pronounced nuclear and in her head
everyone's like oh she's so smart and
clever one person will reply to an
anti-semitic remark with what a shame
you're a racist and then on the next
video say how disappointing that you're
a Mormon I expected better of you and on
the next with what a shame II smoked I
almost respected you she's not saying it
out of concern for your health she's
saying it because he imagined people
reading her comment and saying you are
so right what a sad person you're
commenting on they've adopted their role
as a consumer a judge without a court
parroting what someone taught them is OK
to say because then as with reality TV
they can feel superior just doing
nothing these are those who exist to
judge and be judged that's no way to
live a happy and successful life these
people care about one thing about any
other person and it's not their race or
spelling ability or what music they
listen to
it's how that other person sees them by
the way just as the chauvinist assumes
everyone secretly sexist the narcissist
assumes everyone else is also trying to
fake who they are for status and
attention and that's where you get the
type of comment where they accuse you of
not being a real whatever because if
they were you they would be pretending
would desperately want people to see
them that way and being called that on
it would be the most shameful thing
possible maybe these people are just
young and life hasn't given them a
reality check yet but ignore them and
take your moral advice from people who
you respect and who respect you if these
type of comments still get to you it
could be a conditioned defensiveness
because while these people have no power
over you you've had to deal with
real-life people with similar attitudes
who ended up negatively affecting your
life and it sucked
now you're prejudiced against prejudice
and can't figure out whether that means
you have to be prejudiced against
yourself or not it's driving you nuts be
regret that you allowed these people to
view your beautiful work and for free to
see existential dread humanity is
terrifyingly broken and possibly doomed
at least you care about things that
actually matter right you know you're
better by virtue not of what you say but
of what you do you create things of
value you change the fabric of the world
making it a better place and that means
something right or at least outweighs
the fact that you don't recycle your
cardboard anyway the way to deal with
these kinds of comments is to treat
those people just like any other human
in the crowd of humans let your eyes
glide past them and move on there's
other comment types I don't really have
time for like the entitled demand the
fundamental misunderstanding the creepy
and possessive and if these get to you
you might feel overly stressed feel
misunderstood or impotent and feel
defensive because real-life stalkers are
bad respectively the cure for all these
things is probably to go chill with
real-life friends who make you feel safe
both mentally and physically also let
your eyes glide past the comments and
move on I know in these videos you're
supposed to admit that you're scared and
you care what people think of you and
stuff and so I should confess I by heart
I'm not scared
at all creating the wonderful joyful
process whether I choose to share what I
create or not I'm sure there's tons of
flaws in this video
certainly there are and myself but I
don't care whether it's correct I don't
even care if you like it all I care
about is whether you can find anything
valuable anything interesting or
thought-provoking to take from it we're
safe from each other
I have no power over you that you don't
give me and you have no power over me
that I don't give you it's easy to
imagine that if you're scared everyone
is secretly scared and that you'll
always be scared but that's not the
truth
if you obsess over what people think of
you all the time and it keeps you from
doing things you want to do
that's not normal over okay that sounds
like social anxiety disorder and you
don't have to put up with that like Hank
Green said in his video on this topic
which i think is excellent though
obviously I disagree with the premise
and conclusion your greatest creation is
yourself like any great work of art
creating a great self means putting in
hard work every day for years and just
like how the first couple books most
great authors write are unpublished and
terrible while they get better at the
craft of writing every time you work on
yourself you'll hone your ability to
self improve even if you don't see it I
know I haven't been entirely serious
through all this video and I've been
slowly fading from black and white back
to color just to mess with you but
here's the truth I like you and I want
you to be the best and I don't want to
hear any excuses people have taught you
you are capable of more than you realize
so go create something and share it and
have fun ignoring comments because you
are safe here
you