[Music]
gifts are an important part of life
do you like receiving gifts well I know
that I do and I like giving them even
more and gifts can give us joy
disappointment at times surprise and
connection and it's connection through
gifts that sometimes change the course
of a person's life so the best way I
know how to connect you with the gifts
and the miracles of living kidney
donation is to give you an understanding
of the adventure as it unfolded and that
adventure began with this picture this
is a picture of my good friend Timothy
Jim and his son Tony in late 2016
Tim had posted on social media that he
was in desperate need of a kidney for a
son in seeing this picture of Tony he's
grown now he's in his early 30s but this
picture caught my attention to see him
as a child it connected with the child
in me and I knew his plight years of
dialysis every other day four hours a
day a grind his mobility was limited
sleep was his best friend if he had to
do kidney he would have a new chance at
life a new beginning and my friend Tim
was a hero himself he survived the Khmer
Rouge Massacre in Cambodia in the early
1970s The Killing Fields they killed
nearly two million people
somehow Tim escaped the execution line
and he'd climb more mountains that he
could count to his freedom in Thailand
and they came the United States in 1976
so what was I willing to do for my
friend well at first I was willing to
just give a simple blood test let me
tell you about this blood test this was
like a test of the emergency
Broadcasting System this is a test this
is only a test
I really wasn't planning on donating
anything or let alone understanding that
I could be a potential match for Tony
and yet when we sent the blood kid off
to the hospital to get tested two weeks
later I get a call from the hospital and
the voice on the other end says how do
you feel about donating your kidney
which was incredible
it set off a myriad of emotions inside
of me and questions that had no answers
so I really wasn't committed to anything
yet I needed some facts and the first
question that I had to ask was not
knowing much about donation at all was
can you survive the surgery and indeed
you can you have a ninety-nine point
seven percent chance of not only
surviving the laparoscopic surgery but
also thriving afterwards and then the
larger question comes into play here is
can you really live a quality life with
one kidney the answer to that is yes the
remaining kidney inside of your body
increases in size and scope and capacity
what was cut to 50% can grow to even 60
and 70% and for most people that would
be two to three times more than they
would ever need in their life and then
another question came what would years
be cut off on my life if I donate it and
the research said
life expectancy is essentially the same
and surprisingly maybe even slightly
higher with one kidney instead of two
and that was great information that kind
of moved me along a little bit I started
feeling a little better about this and
then the fear came and let me tell you
it was fierce and I know enough to know
about emotional intelligence to know
that I had to feel the sphere had to
invite it in like a friend and sit with
it until it had no choice but to leave
and when it did I got some clarity and
also found out about the scope of kidney
failure in the United States there are
over 100,000 people on a National Kidney
registry list waiting on a kidney from
either a deceased donor or a living
donor 3,000 people are added to that
list each month and on average 13 people
will die each day waiting so with that
information I made a decision about life
supporting life I said yes to Tony and
my friends said yes and my family said
yes and even the fortune cookie said yes
but what's a good kidney donations story
without some university one week before
I was scheduled to donate directly to
Tony Hospital in New York called and
said that they were canceling the
surgery that our kidney structures were
just too different and that Tony would
experience too many complications both
during and after the surgery we were
devastated and suddenly out of nowhere
Tony's new chance at life a new
beginning for him they were gone I think
most people at this point would say you
know we did the best we could but it
just didn't work out but there was still
something inside of me a voice let's
call it the voice of faith it said
Taylor it's not over
dream bigger so three weeks later I knew
what I had to do I knew when I was
willing to gift I introduced myself to
the team the transplant team at
Methodist University Central Hospital in
Memphis I told him what had happened
with Tony that it didn't work out and I
was still willing to donate to someone
else give them a new chance and I'll
never forget what dr. Campos told me
that day he said Taylor if you become a
non-directed donor there's only one way
to make this right one way to make this
story whole and that is somehow find a
returned kidney for Tony which for me
was like it was an aha moment oh it was
like catching the Hail Mary pass for a
touchdown to win the game up until then
I didn't know anything about return
kidneys or kidney exchanges I didn't
even know they were possible but they're
not only possible they're more probable
now than ever so on February 27th 2018 i
gifted my kidney to an unknown recipient
and through a miracle of miracles was
also selected to be the point person for
a multiple person kidney exchange were
five other people got life-saving
kidneys within 72 hours of my donation
here's how a kidney exchange works you
may not be a match for your loved one
but you can donate a kidney on behalf of
your loved one so that they can get a
kidney back in return and this beautiful
exchange and chain just keeps going and
going and going
think of it as a matchmaking service for
kidneys and the miracles kept happening
three months later Tony got his return
kidney there are three questions that I
had to ask and answer to say yes to
living kidney donation the first
question was why why was I willing to
give up a body part that I was using and
the answer for me had to be really
simple clear-cut my good friend Timothy
Jim a hero he needed me the second
question why not me you have the right
and during this process to say no at any
time and the medical personnel kept
telling me all along this process Taylor
at any time you don't want to do this
you just
say no and we all walk right up until
the time we give you that double dirty
martini that puts you to sleep just say
the word but I just kept finding reasons
to say yes
the third question I had to ask and
answer was a double sided coin what did
it mean to say yes and what did it mean
to say no and on the yes side I had to
answer the question was I saying yes in
order to avoid feeling guilty because
regret and guilt are real things could I
feel my way through that and I did and
on the no side could I say no to the
chin family when I was the only option I
decided that I could say no if it
substantially affected the quality of my
life that was just not the case there is
a tremendous power in gifting and a
faith in action believing in what you
cannot see yet what are you willing to
gift to someone else out of all the
things that I learned on this miraculous
adventure the one thing that stands out
to me is that people need each other
to make life work and it's our
connections both visible and invisible
that keep us together and on the journey
to success
I'm reminded of a Sufi parable that goes
like this past the seeker as he prayed
him the crippled the beggar and the
broken Anna point seeing this he cried
master how can a loving God see such
things and yet do nothing about them and
out of a long silence
God said I did do something I made you
thank you
[Applause]