- So if you want,
in this triangular enclave,
what would you like a rap about?
- [Audience Member 1] Ireland.
- Ireland, are you yourself Irish?
- [Audience Member 1] No.
- No?
No, no, why'd you go, "No, ew, eww.
What? No."
- [Audience Member 1] My boyfriend's Irish.
- Your boyfriend's Irish.
Exactly, and he's not here tonight.
Ew, ew. (audience laughing)
What aspect of Ireland would you like us to focus on?
- [Audience Member 1] Oh God, music!
- Music, Irish music? - [Audience Member 1] Yeah.
- Fun, great that's a great suggestion.
Are there any Irish bands that you particularly enjoy?
- [Audience Member 1] My boyfriend's a musician.
- Your boyfriend's an Irish musician.
The imagination on display.
This is really cool.
(audience laughs)
You could have picked anything.
You're just like,
"the guy that I kind of like, but also (indistinct)"
Irish musicians, lovely, your boyfriend is one.
Let's come to the back of the room,
I want to give you guys an opportunity.
- [Audience Member 2] Colonization.
- What was that?
- [Audience Member 2] Colonization.
- Colonization.
(audience laughs)
I can't see you, since it's quite dim over there,
and I can't hear from your accent,
are you from a country that was colonized?
(audience laughs)
- [Audience Member 2] By you, yeah.
- By me?
(audience laughs)
You're welcome, slash I'm sorry.
(audience laughs)
May I inquire as to the country?
- [Audience Member 2] The U.S.
- The U.S.
(audience laughs)
I mean,
(audience continues laughing)
okay cool, yeah.
I mean, I'm sorry, slash you're welcome still holds.
Okay, colonization of the U.S. by the British.
Irish musicians.
Let's come to the middle of the room.
From this side to this side.
What you want a rap about?
- [Audience Member 3] Gothic Catholic churches.
- Gothic Catholic churches.
Thank you very much, cool.
Just so you know, gothic is the style of architecture.
Not Catholic churches that wear all black
and you know, self harm.
And are you thinking of gothic or neo-gothic?
- [Audience Member 3] Oh.
(audience groans)
- No, what you sit at home and, "Oh, Wikipedia."
It's just a, we'll figure it out.
Okay, colonization of the state,
Irish musicians, gothic Catholic churches.
Let's come to the middle section of the room,
and don't worry people over here will come to you last up.
Middle of the room, what do you want?
- [Audience Members] matzo ball soup,
the Queen, a slutty taxidermist, (indistinct) missionary.
- There were so, so many.
We had matzo ball soup, the Queen,
you said a slutty taxidermist.
(audience laughs)
We found the crowd favorite.
A slutty taxidermist.
Okay, and then this section of the room,
you have the final suggestion.
Usually I'd say make it the best,
but slutty taxidermist is real fucking good.
(audience laughs)
- [Audience Member 4] Double decker bus!
- Double decker bus.
Thank you for the emphasis on that as well.
Double decker bus, yeah!
(audience laughs)
Whoa!
That is what all British people think Americans are like
when they're in London.
Whoa! Buckingham Palace, guard with a big hat!
So these are our topics.
Irish musician, colonization of the states,
gothic Catholic churches, slutty taxidermy.
If I remember, I'll throw in the Queen and matzo ball soup
and a double decker bus, yeah!
(audience laughs)
So my lovely band it's been,
I've been away since April.
Right so, I'm excited to get back together
with you guys again.
Yeah, we broke up, we went on hiatus and now we're back.
So let's,
my gosh are you gonna break the speakers with that?
(audience laughs)
Oh no, that's not a criticism.
Red's like, "Oh, I'm really sorry Chris,
I'll change it for a less 808-y sound."
So beautiful.
Isn't it nice?
Why are you doing this with your face?
You seem apprehensive.
You're now fanning yourself.
Okay, cool.
We'll start it off.
You seem perturbed, 'bout how this might end.
Put him on blast, yeah rap about my friend.
He's a boy but not here,
on my right I came out, comedy cellar my gal tonight.
Where's he from?
His skin's ever so pasty white.
He eat potatoes, never sees the daylight.
Well if I like him, maybe just a little.
He plays, I presume the Irish fiddle or some type of flute.
Oh fiddle dee-dee, when I get quite drunk,
he might fiddle with me consensually, obviously.
My hand inspired about the boyfriend from Ireland.
Is he Northern Irish or there from the Republic?
Can he read sheet music and instruct it
like a conductor in the Irish orchestra?
It's just leprechauns with ginger hair
and they lept from there over here to this country.
Moving back in the day, in the 1600s.
They're on the Mayflower Pilgrim Fathers.
They're from England, but they're like,
"We'd rather go to nicer climates with more sun.
Let's set sail across the sea and find a new one.
Oh America, yeah, we don't hate this.
Oh, hello! There's the Indians, the native.
Give them the blankets, take it lots.
Now we own this 'cuz you're dead of small pox."
I'm not encouraging it.
Obviously it was sad.
Colonization, it really turned out bad.
But let me talk about something that's so much
much more pretty, see?
Over there in the middle century of Italy.
The Catholic church, they're like, we won't stop it.
Construct all the houses of worship in the gothic style.
And if you let your brain kind of art
they used to have the type of gothic arch.
The difference is it's not curved.
It's got a little point that's hard to construct.
And that's my point.
Are you an architecture student, far more prudent?
Nope, the Catholic church, it's led by the Pope.
Who did they have?
Benedict and Paul.
What's his favorite soup?
Matzo ball. (audience cheers)
He was eating it up, he's so keen.
Leader of the church, would never meet the queen.
She runs the C of E, the Church of England.
If they ever met, they would get into fisticuffs like,
"Yo Popey, you better put them up.
I've got a thump with the heft of a double decker bus.
Coming in, I'll aim straight for your head.
Then I deck you twice,
double leave your face red with the blood
that's bubbling from your nose.
You saw these, a right hook coming
and then come the corgis,
they're attacking, biting with their teeth."
The last thing you won't believe.
What I see, walk into a shop.
The action, it concerned me.
I see a guy there with this taxidermy.
He's got a dead beaver.
Yeah, he starts ruffling the hairs.
Then he says, "I'm giving it a stuffing."
What do you mean?
That's really yucky.
You're fucking the dead beaver.
Ew, yucky.
You'd be so slutty when you see it with the fur,
slutty taxidermist, that's a motherfucking perv.
(audience cheering)