Clay Andrews: In this video,
we're going to be talking about five signs that your ex is ready to get back together with you.
We've talked a lot about some heavy stuff over the past few videos, so I wanted to bring up
something actually positive and optimistic for you to be looking out for.
But first, once again, my name is Clay with modernlove.life, where we help you get the great,
loving relationship that you are looking for without having to play mind games,
without having to play hard to get, and without having to pretend to be someone or something that
you are not because you, of course, deserve to be loved for the unique, amazing, and wonderful
person that you are. Clay Andrews:
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Clay Andrews: We've talked a lot about
some heavy stuff over the past few videos, so I wanted to talk about some positive things as well,
because, yeah, there can be a lot of problems that come up when you're trying to get back
together with your ex or save your relationship. But I want to offer some optimism as well,
because it's not all bad, right? People go out there and have these great interactions with their
exes. They have these great experiences. Clay Andrews:
I've had lots of clients who have actually gotten back together. They've sent me photos of their
wedding. They've sent me updates about how it's been great to spend things like lockdown periods
with someone that they love rather than spending it all alone, wherever they might be living.
All sorts of stuff like that. Clay Andrews:
Let's go ahead and talk about some of these positive things.
The first one is that they talk about a future with you in it. Not just any future though. I
mean, obviously if they talk about any future, that's a good sign. If it's something like,
"Oh yeah, when the world opens back up again, maybe we can go and do this thing
or go on a trip to this place," or something like that. Yeah, that totally makes sense.
Clay Andrews: But what's even better is if they talk about
having a better future together with you, a future that's better because the two of you are together.
Like, "Oh yeah, it'd be so great if we could start doing this sort of thing in the future
or when we're able to do that. I've always wanted to be able to buy a house and live by the sea,"
or something like that. Clay Andrews:
When they actually start to feel a compelling vision of the future that involves you, that's
definitely a very strong sign that they're kind of thinking there. They're thinking,
"Hey, maybe there is something here. Maybe we're going to get back together. Maybe it is something
that I'm open to." They might be in a place where they're not ready to actually go out there
and say it, but they might be ready to go there and have that conversation if you bring it up.
Clay Andrews: The second sign is if the two of
you have mostly positive interactions that bring the two of you closer together. Now, obviously, if
you're in any kind of relationship, there's going to be some disagreements from time to time. It's
a fairy tale if anyone tells you otherwise. But you should be having mostly positive interactions
that are bringing you mostly closer together. If that's happening, then they're probably
thinking in the back of their mind, "Huh, this is actually going pretty well. Maybe we might have
some sort of future together after all." If you've been doing this and it's been consistent over
a period of time, a good stretch of time, yeah, they might be open to having that conversation.
Clay Andrews: The third one is if
there's clear romantic tension between the two of you. This can include things like flirting or
things beyond flirting. Let's leave this family-friendly. We never know who might be in
the room when you're watching this. If there's clear romantic tension between the two of you
and the two of you are having good, positive interactions, and the two of you are creating
a good future together and a compelling future, and planning a future with each other in it,
then, yeah, there's definitely something here. That's why it's important to actually test these
romantic tensions between the two from time to time, not because we're necessarily trying
to stay out of the friend zone, we've talked about that before in the past,
but because we're just trying to feel out the corners of that room to know where ex might be at.
If they're at the point where they're okay with flirting and they're okay with romantic things
happening between the two of you, there's probably a very good chance that they're probably okay to
take that next step and get back together with you. Definitely be on the lookout for that.
Clay Andrews: Definitely also be willing to step outside of
your comfort zone and flirt with them a little bit if that's something that's not already happening.
Or do something to push that envelope a little bit further than maybe feels like it's in your comfort
zone. Obviously, stay within your values. If you don't feel comfortable sleeping with them outside
of a certain degree of commitment, don't do it. But push that envelope a little bit to see where
they're at. If you get a little bit of pushback or resistance from them, okay, that's going to give
you some information in terms of what you might need to focus on. But if they totally take it and
they're accepting of it and they're welcoming it in, then hey, great, cool. You just found a
fun, new way to interact act with one another. Clay Andrews:
The fourth thing that you might want to look out for is that they notice and genuinely believe
that you have made them some real changes or that there are some real changes in general.
Oftentimes in this work, there are a lot of people that focus on changing themselves,
showing their new self, showing their changed self, showing their improved self to their ex.
But I don't really like to think of it that way. At least not these days, because I think that
sometimes people put a little bit too much pressure on themselves to constantly change,
to constantly be better, to constantly do all this stuff for their ex. Maybe they need to do that.
Maybe they absolutely need to do that. That's totally fine. But I don't want you to think that
you need to constantly become better for your ex because, admittedly, your ex probably does need
to do some work themselves. There's probably something in the dynamic that's equally caused
by you and them as well. I don't want you to be saying, "Okay, I need to constantly becoming like
this super version of me." Sure. You should always want to become the best version of yourself,
but don't be putting so much pressure on yourself to do it for someone else.
Clay Andrews: But that's a little
bit of a side tangent. What I really wanted to say here was if your ex sees that there's
been a genuine change in how you're relating to one another and interacting with one another,
and that it's been an improvement and that they really believe that this is a legit, real change,
it's not just a good stretch, it's not just you on your best behavior, it's not just
some gimmick that you learned online or something like that, but it's real, legitimate change
and an improvement then, yeah, they're probably thinking "Oh, huh." If this improvement is
directly related to why the two of you broke up, then, yeah, they're probably thinking, "Oh, wow,
huh. Maybe we might want to think about getting back together."
Clay Andrews: Then the fifth one is that both of you want
similar things in life. Both of you have some sort of vision for yourself or your future or something
like that, that maybe it's not exactly the same, but it's aligned. It's similar. If you have this,
it shows that, okay, the two of you have similar values, the two of you are striving towards
something similar in life. If many of these other things are in place, the romantic tension,
talking about a better future together, positive interactions, flirting, all that stuff, if this
is happening and the two of you are also having similar things in life that you want to achieve,
a similar direction, a similar vision, a similar trajectory in life that you want to go, yeah,
it really does show that there's a lot of common values and it might be time to actually have
this conversation with them. Clay Andrews:
I know that it's a tough road getting back together with your ex. I know it's a really
hard road. I've talked to countless people over the years. I just wanted to let you know that
just because it's tough, just because there are setbacks, just because there are challenges. It
doesn't mean that it's impossible. These are some things that you might look out for, for when it's
time to have the talk about getting back together or when things are moving in the right direction,
but this is not an exclusive list. There have been so many people that I have had the pleasure
of working with over these past several years who have been able to pull their relationship
back from really tough, really challenging, and really dark places. Last updates I've
received from them, they've been in some great relationship, great marriage, great whatever.
Living the best lives that they possibly can. Clay Andrews:
I know that it definitely is possible. I know that as hard as it might be sometimes, you can do
this. You can handle this situation. You can pull yourself through it one way or another. Whether
you and your ex get back together, you can find yourself on the other side of this doing so much
better than maybe you might be feeling right now. You deserve this. You owe this to yourself to do
the best for you. Clay Andrews:
With that being said, if you did like this video, please once again, make sure to hit
that thumbs up button. If you do think that you and your ex might be in a place where you're ready
to have that conversation about getting back together, we talk about it in the Ex Solution
program. But if you're in the place to have that conversation, you're probably best to just sign
up with Connect and Commit. It's a little bit of a lower price point. It does give you that
commitment collaboration conversation that you can just go ahead and have. If the two of you
are on the same team and you're connecting well and all that stuff, just go ahead and follow that
outline. Suddenly, you're talking about getting back together. That's always a good thing.
Clay Andrews: But anyway, if that's
something that you want to learn more about, we have the Connect and Commit course down below.
If it's not right for you, no worries. But once again, if you did like this video,
please hit that thumbs up button and subscribe to the channel for, once again, the algorithm. If you
do want to learn a little bit more about what your ex is thinking, we do have this video series on,
not surprisingly, what your ex is thinking right over here,
or we also have this video over here, if you want to check that out. But anyway,
once again, thank you so much. Please take care, and I'll talk to you next time.