We're watching soccer now
Got any cookies for the game?
Just pop turds
I mean tarts
Sorry
I hate this autocorrect
Yeah. Tarts sounds better *chuckles*
What's going on guys I am Matthias & welcome to "Reading Your Autocorrects"
It is Wednesday & this is what I do on Wednesday, this is like literally the only thing I do on Wednesday.
I wake up & I'm like "oh it's Autocorrect day"
"Sweet"
And then I just get hounded by you guys on Twitter, with all your beautiful Autocorrects.
Guys if you wanna send me your autocorrects do it on Twitter using the #AutoIncorrect
And if I favourite your tweet don't you dare send me that same autocorrect again because that means you made it in a future episode.
Even if it doesn't come out for a week or two ju-just chill okay, just chill don't spam me!
Also, make sure, you go check out my latest shirt design, only avalible for three more days.
Maybe I'll bring it back, if it's, super popular. But otherwise...
Whoops
And now let's read on my friends, let's read on, let's read on.
"I am pick up a stick at Kroger."
*Steak
"Ohhhh a stick, heh"
"And catch up for your stick too
*Catch up
*Cat Chop *Chuckles*
Whatever *laughs*"
I-I wish, I wish I could do an, uh, an entire episode on just parents,
parents & their phones.
The words that they try to use, & like when they misuse phrases & stuff like that
if you guys have those too, please send those.
Oh my gosh those are hilarious.
"Haha I love skins soo much! You should whatchamacallit it.
Omg, watch it!"
"Really, okay then"
"It is really good..."
"Yeah. We are going to hang out tommorow."
"Well, don't mess it up."
"I might try to kill her."
"Bro I don't think that's gonna get her to like you."
" *Kiss!
I might try to kiss her!"
"M-still" *Laughs*
Just love the fact that your just like "m-still, kill her or kiss her, ehhhmm.
Not sure which one she's gonna like.
"But I wanna watch Youtoobs!"
"I love your boobs.
*Your Boobs
*You Boob
*YouTube"
*The Anal from the 69th dimension"
Woah what?
"Finally!" ? *Chuckles*
So I think they are originally trying to type "Youtoobs"
And it corrected to "Your Boobs" because Youtube just re-corrects for me to "you & tube"
If you try "Youtoobs", maybe it corrects to "Your Boobs"
I duno, maybe that's a fake one we'll never know.
Although why would you try to embarrass yourself like that?
"Yeah same math is annoying"
"I love Engilsh, if I could have English for the rest of my school time I would take it!"
"Ah I think English is hard especially shake spread.
*Shakespear"
"Omfg just think about that fail for a second wow, epic!" *Laughs*
Shake spread! *Eurgh*
"I have a wife that is literally poking a hole through my face!
Wire not wife!
It hurtss!"
"Ha, you cheating on me?"
"I'm sorely
*Sorry
I still love you"
"What?"
"The best part of wakin' up if golfers in your cup.
I mean golfers.
*Filters
*Fingers
*Golfers
F"
"Folgers?"
"YEAH that!"
Fingers in my cup? That would be a horrible way to wake up in the morning.
"Mom's cooking dinner. We're having chapstick.
*Chapstick
*Champs
*Chapstick
*Chapstick!
No, not chapstick. Chapstick
*Chalk tips!!
No automatically cucumber!
*Chao!
NO!
Chicken!!
My mother is cooking chicken!!"
Wow. That's just spiraling hard core.
"Sup God, are you?
*Heuh are you?
*How are you!
Dang it autocorrect!"
God wasn't on autocorrect?
Who are you calling God?
Unless you're texting god...
"I know! And lol yaass blend him.
Omg blame hime wtf phone"
"She falled asleep"
"I realized that ehhehehehehe
Gotta call my uncle talk to you in a sex,
I mean srex
I mean sec!
Ducking autororreto *Chuckles*
I give up!
"My dogs name is nippy
*nippy
*Nippy
*Bumppy
Finally!
Freakin' auto cucumber
God Why!!!
Autocorrect stop this madness!!!"
"My phone hates me"
"Were you sick?
That means you need to take a break from your phone."
"I had a sore trout
*Thrust
*Thought
*The out!
Omg I can't spell!!!!"
Yeah see that's the issue with autocorrect, it's that people can't spell the correct word,
so they can't get it to not autocorrect for all you people that are thinking "Why don't you just turn off autocorrect?"
Well if you don't know how to spell the word, then you gotta like go to Google and search it in, it's such a pain in the butt am I right?
"Well you have different beliefs"
"I'm not religious"
"IKEA!"
"Sears!"
"Oops I meant 'I know' "
"Well my par nuts would pay for my car
*Parents"
"I'm probably scret"
"scret?"
"yes, short for screwd"
"me too"
"which is short for screwed"
"how" *Laughs*
Scret...is not short for screwed.
"Also I wanted to tell you something but I can't remember now & I kinda hugs me.
*Bugs me damnit!
I hate autocorrect!"
Yeah 'hugs you' & 'bugs you' Two seperate things, opposite ends of the spectrum.
"Come over here I guess"
"Jfk"
"Presidential election?"
"No I meant 'ok' stupid autocorrect"
"Hey are you comin' to the partway this week we?
Uhhh auto arrow
*Autocorrect
*Party weekend"
"Okey why did you take this pic?"
"Claire wanted me to"
"Why"
"I don't know"
"Do you even think everyone bows?"
"Sorry what does that mean?"
"Now's, not bows"
"Knows?"
"Sorry, yep."
"Because I threw up"
"Oh. I has a sore throat"
"Do I gas? I see you tomatoes.
What?! So I had to see you today.
So I thing I see you lol day.
Autocorrect!!
I guess I see you tommorows!! There.
"My tampon hurts so much right now" *Laughs*
"What?"
"Ahhhh,I meant my temple not tampon!!
Ducking auto collect! Correction."
"Hey baby!"
"Hey darlin'"
"How're you feelin'?"
"I'm ok my voice is still about gone though."
"Did you take some Mexicans before you left?
*Medicine"
"Thanks fan
*Fam not fan
Put the thing in a Google doc when you save it & share the doc with me"
"Ok fan" And just texted him a picture of a fan.
"Yeah, I knew you'd do that"
"There are like four people with the same b-day just from snapchat stories omg"
"My brother's bit gay is today.
Oh, wait no, birthday! His birthday!!"
"Wtf just happened?"
"Hey dude"
"Hey, just got back from sex."
"WTF!!? Did you enjoy yourself?"
"No it's sex & I got some video games.
C E X!"
"That's messed up man."
"Oh yeah."
"You can open doors, I can reach the brink of death with laughter"
"Yeah that's some awesome weird traits dad
*Giggles* X D *Giggles*
My phone has daddy issues."
So they're trying to type that, that little squinty face instead of dad but *hehhe*
The phone was just like, 'thanks dad!'
"I don't like it either"
"Oof, somethings FishU.
*Fishi
*Fisht"
I think they meant 'Fishy'
Guys if you wanna see the last Autocorrect make sure you click that little info card right there
'cos it's just as funny I promise
Also, make sure you, go get that shirt if you want it link down in the description below.
I think there's only three days left, that's it! What're you going to do?
Send me you autocorrects using the #AutoIncorrect on Twitter and we will see you next time
High five