- Hello, Miss, uh...
- Latoya.
Oh! I like your jacket, girl!
You got it in money green and you got all your edges the same.
This is the right place to be. What's this?
Is this for someone coming here and they get on your nerves?
- I just want to clarify, you are here to interview for
the administrative assistant? - Uh-huh! Yeah, I am.
- You are full of energy. I do love that.
- Because I have busted me a [bleep] this morning, every
time I release all my stress, I have a way better attitude.
- Good to know.
Let's start off with...
past job experience that you have that
might be relevant to this administrative position
that you're interviewing for.
- Okay, well, I ain't really had that many jobs on paper.
But the last job I had I was a babysitter for my neighbor.
But she fired me because I had to beat her kid's ass.
She told me to treat him like my own, and I whoop my kid's ass.
Outside of that, I mean, like, that's my only job.
And then, like, are they recording this?
- No. No one's recording anything.
- Oh, okay.
Well, my other job was off the record too.
My ex-boyfriend was a drug dealer,
we used to go from point A to point B,
and I used to have to smuggle up inside.
You know, I'm saying in my birth canal?
And that was, kind of, like an assistant job because I had to,
like, you know, be right by his side.
So I'm really good at keeping secrets, because I know
in these uppity buildings ya'll keep a lot of secrets.
So, your secret is safe with me. - Okay.
So, here at our firm, as an assistant,
you will have a lot of different duties,
I just want to know if you're comfortable
running errands and setting up calendars?
Are you organized?
How do you handle that?
- Okay, so I don't really mind running no errands,
as long as I ain't gotta run.
Two, I'm very organized because if I meet three dudes
in one week, I set it up to where if I hunch one on Monday,
I don't do it on Tuesday.
But I might do it again on Wednesday.
And then I keep it in my calendar...
that's my organization skills.
- Splitting up your sexual-- - Yeah, you got to, girl.
Because if not it'll throw your pH balance off.
And I also like to get my coochie a break,
because sometimes she be tired.
- Okay.
So, events, talent shows.
We do have office events-- - [gasp]
- --sometimes, like Christmas parties,
we throw birthday parties, going away parties.
You would be in charge of handling and planning
those kinds of things, so--
- I will have this party off the chain.
First of all, if it's a Christmas party,
I make a mean-ass eggnog.
I put Lean in it, and if everybody acting all corny
on the dance floor, I'm gonna be like, "Yo, yo!
Get on the floor, bitch. "Shake that ass.
Shake that monkey, ho!"
Then they goin' get up, they goin' get crunk,
it's gonna be the best party ever.
And if ya'll really want to have a good time,
whatever you need!
Ya'll want pills, ya'll want powder.
Whatever you need.
We'll have a real good party.
- Okay, that is very helpful information.
- And that's only for Christmas.
- Okay.
So, I think I've gotten everything I need from you.
Are there any questions that you have for me?
- I do have a question.
You got a man?
'Cause you seem a little tense.
When's the last time you had a climax?
'Cause, listen, part of me getting this job,
I need to know you, girl!
'Cause if you come in one day, you got an attitude,
I'm gonna be like, "Uh, she ain't getting no dick."
It'll help me, just pick up the slack.
- What it's all about. Yeah, okay.
- It helps. Dick relief.
- Are you guys almost done in here 'cause I got a stack of I9s
I need you to look at before the end of the work day.
And we've been-- - First of all,
there's a door back there. Knock on it.
And second of all, get your hand off the desk.
You ain't see my hand was right there?
And, third of all, you see two strong black women having
a conversation about how we goin' take over the world
and run this firm?
You need to be seen and not heard.
I'm gonna put my I9 up your ass.
[bleep] out!
- I'll talk to you a little bit later.
- Of course, Bob.
I've never seen him leave my office that fast...ever.
I think you are perfect for this job.
- I got a job! I got a job! - You got the job.
- Girl, I got post-dated check I'm about to write for my rent.
It's late but I'm going let them know I got my rent money.
I got my rent money.
I got my rent money! - Not yet.
- Thank you. - Congratulations.
- See you Monday. - Wear a suit.