Hi I'm Kristen Bell, and this is my friend Andy Lasner.
Andy could you come here for a second?
This is my friend Andy he's the executive producer at the Ellen
Show.
He's also a gigantic baby.
Ahh!
[BLEEP]
Andy!
[BLEEP]
Andy has no idea why we're here.
Why don't you go ahead and read the prompter?
Hi, I'm Andy Lasner, and I'm sad.
Women get to experience all the glory of childbirth
while poor dads have to sit idly by and give out free massages.
That a good point.
I mean it's just not fair.
It's not.
Guess what, ladies?
What?
It's my turn today.
We have procured a machine that simulates the pain of labor
contractions now.
What?
And I'll finally get the chance to live my dream
and go into labor.
Andy this is great!
This is not happening.
This is great.
This is not.
This is your dream!
There's one more line.
Ready?
Together.
Let's get ready to do some momsplaining.
No
Yeah.
No.
Yeah.
(SINGING) To all you moms out there, you be doing it right.
Hi, guys.
Hi.
Rya, this is Andy.
Hi Rya.
Hi Andy.
How are you?
This is Andy.
Oh, you too?
Have a seat.
Rya was on the last season of momsplaining.
Yes, I remember.
We went to a labor class together.
We met my OB/GYN, and talked about labor together.
And then she's had a beautiful baby boy since then.
Congratulations.
How old now?
Thank you.
He's almost four months.
And four months.
Wait, I never asked--
And you are?
This is?
Hi.
I'm Martina.
OK Martina.
Martina's going to just hook some things up to your belly
there, and it will simulate labor.
But don't worry Andy.
OK we've turned today's labor into a game.
This is a chance you might not feel any contractions at all
if you answer the questions right.
Just for the record, I hate you.
And I hate whoever was part of this whole thing.
That's exactly how normal labor goes isn't it?
I'm sure you guys exchange things
like that-- it's like I hate you,
why did you get me into this, Dack!
You know, it's just muscle memory.
Of right, it's time to play Get This Baby Outta Me.
Here are the rules.
Rya and I will read the questions.
If you guys get it wrong, Martina will give our partner
a contraction.
With each wrong answer, the contractions
will get more intense.
Just like labor.
This is insane.
Let's play.
OK, honey.
How long is a typical pregnancy?
Nine months.
Nailed it.
Really, really nice.
OK we're up.
Oh this is easy.
At what point can newborns cry actual tears?
First week.
It's three weeks.
Oh OK.
OK just breathe honey.
How long are we're doing it for?
Just breathe.
Normal contraction.
Yeah, I got it, but--
OK.
You OK?
Yeah.
OK.
No big deal, right?
Labor's a cinch.
If you gave birth to triplets, how many babies do you have?
Three.
Are you kidding me with the question he gets?
Are you a doctor?
Wow.
That's impressive.
OK.
We can do this, Andy.
Come on, you're a great partner.
How many bones does your newborn have?
613 No, it's is 300 bones.
300 bones.
Here we go again with the contraction.
Here you go.
You all right?
OK.
All right.
That looks like it hurts.
It hurts.
Wow.
Honey I'm seizing up just looking at you.
[BLEEP] are you kidding me?
We're not doing really well, so I
need you to step up your game.
But you've set it up so I fail and this one does--
Am I failing, or are you failing?
Who's failing us right now?
I'm failing, Kristian.
(SINGING) Push it.
Push it.
Oh my god.
Just breathe, honey, just breathe.
Oh god.
OK.
You know what?
I know what's going to make this a lot more comfortable.
Have an ice chip.
Ice chip is going to fix everything.
It's still going!
It's going to fix everything.
Doesn't that feel so much better?
I feel helpless here.
That's exactly how I felt. All right.
Rya?
Next question.
Wait.
We're done.
She's still going.
I don't see a baby, so I don't think we're done.
We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor.
Johnson's, unlike the endless pain of labor,
the new Johnson's baby products are incredibly gentle.
This looks like it's going to be a rough one.
Is it supposed to hurt in my back when they're here?
If it's back labor, yeah.
What the [BLEEP] is back labor?
I really need you to get your head in the game, OK?
I don't like losing.
All right?
Do you want to do it again tomorrow?
No, I don't want to do it again tomorrow.
Me either. so let's win today.
I know, but we're a team we would have given people heads
up that things were happening.
That's what I wanted to tell my husband during sex,
when he forgot to pull out, and I accidentally got pregnant.
Both times.
How many babies are born around the world in a single minute?
A billion point seven.
That doesn't make any mathematical sense.
I know I panicked.
I was panicked.
The population of this world would be infinity.
Now this one you deserve.
What do I do?
Just breathe.
Give birth.
Andy, you're crowning.
You're almost there.
Breathe, breathe, breathe.
You're doing great.
[BLEEP]
Just breathe.
OK, OK.
That's it.
How does it feel?
It feels like I have a whole new respect for women
and what they go through, and I don't
know that I had to experience this to do that,
because I feel like I've always appreciated
and thank you ladies.
Please tell me we're done.
We are done.
And just out of curiosity Martina,
how high were we on the scale?
When we were at a 78.
Out of?
100.
Andy, you had 3/4 of a kid today.
And you know what you guys get?
You're going to get a rubber baby,
and a lot of sleepless nights.
There you go.
Skin to skin is really important.
Thanks, Kristin.
You're very welcome.
And that's how you play Get This Baby Outta Me.
And tune in next week when we play How The [BLEEP] Did
I Get Into This Mess?
All right, Kristin, are you ready?
Yeah.
Good.
It ramps up really slowly.
Oh my god.
That's very close to what it is.
It's not this isolated.
But then we go--
It's a little bit more all over.
What is the number she's at now?
84.
She's not even flinching.
But can I be honest?
Not as bad.
Presented by the new Johnson's.
Improved inside and out.