Fear of missing out is an anxiety of losing what we never even had,
and could hence be described as an insane mental defect. However, it is common,
real, and can make us feel deep regret for something that hasn’t actually happened.
FOMO is an animal that shies away from strangers and larger groups,
but loves to hide within intimate social relationships.
It can attack your ego when a close friend is getting ahead. It tears
you down when others are having a good time and you aren’t invited.
It beats you up, if your rival gets what ought to be yours.
And if you are lovesick and can’t fall asleep,
it’s your FOMO that will give you the worst nightmares.
FOMO’s full destructive force can be observed in Tom and Jeff,
two friends who decided to invest their savings into bitcoin, back in 2012.
Over the next few years the price of bitcoin went up a lot, and the two began to believe that they
were brilliant investors, and that their bet was the smartest move in their young lives.
But they also became increasingly concerned that something might happen to that precious stake,
and this new identity of theirs. Tom experienced fear of loss.
Then, one day, the price of bitcoin suddenly started falling and then dropped dramatically.
Tom's fear of loss became too strong and he decided to sell half of his coins.
Jeff, a religious believer, didn’t sell.
After he cashed out, Tom felt relieved,
even though his remaining bitcoin investment kept falling further.
We see this happen in Tom, because while he might still lose money,
he wants to protect what has become even more precious to him— his identity
of being that brilliant investor. But then our story takes a dark twist.
A short while later, the price of Bitcoin first
stabilized and then kept rising — faster and faster.
But Tom, who still held plenty of coins, wasn’t happy. No. While he
lay in bed at night his FOMO crept out of hiding and painted a terrifying future.
Tom began to believe that he had made a massive mistake that would leave him
a poor fool, while his friend would be the millionaire they both dreamed of becoming.
And so, even though he still owned a significant amount of bitcoin,
he now hoped for a total crash in its value, and the absolute failure of cryptocurrencies.
So, what’s going on here?
The FOMO attacks Tom, because Jeff is his friend. Same age. Same tribe. Someone just
like him. The difference is that while Jeff is a brilliant investor, Tom is an idiot.
And because Tom knows he could have achieved Jeff’s success, and doesn’t want to live with
that idea for the rest of his life, he hopes they’ll both fail miserably.
Research on FOMO suggests: There are no gender differences
Higher FOMO scores are associated with younger age
It’s associated with people who are neurotic And those who are lonely experience it more often
But which fear is stronger? The fear of losing what is ours or
our fear of missing out? Or are they even, essentially, the same thing?
Please share your thoughts in the comments below
or tell us your own experiences with feelings of anxiety, fear or fomo.
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