Throughout my entire life I could count my close friends on one hand.
In fact, I don't think that number has ever reached three.
A lot of people have the wrong idea about
introverts and I say that because for a very long time I had the wrong idea about introverts and so I
just want to share my perspective.
It's really easy to look up the word introvert and see that the definition is someone who is shy or quiet.
Obviously, I'm not going to say that that's flat-out wrong.
It's in the dictionary after all, but unfortunately, I feel like things are not so black and white.
I know it sounds crazy
but I didn't realize how introverted I am until very recently. And I think this is an
unbelievably valuable thing to know about yourself whether you're introverted or not. I'm just gonna speak for myself here.
Understanding who I am and, more crucially, how I operate has been a very confusing but important process for me.
I feel like as I figure these things out little by little I've been able to make better decisions
for myself and where I want to put my time. At my age, it feels like there's a lot of social pressure
to be a partying and sexually active like 21 year old, you know.
I think of movies like American Pie. And it's so backwards because even just a couple generations ago things were so different.
Now, however, that seems kind of like the image of happiness that we all see on social media and also mainstream media.
I explored this a lot during my 30 days without alcohol.
And that's a separate video
But I think the point of why I'm bringing this up is because I think there are other ways
to squeeze the juice out of life in your twenties.
And I know that me saying I'm an introvert is going to surprise some of you guys because like I'm not socially awkward.
I don't have a problem speaking to the camera.
Speaking in front of people. Speaking with people. I can be really loud.
I mean I love connecting with people.
That's the whole reason why I'm doing this, you know human interactions fascinate me
but above all I think that the most
important relationship that you have in life is with yourself. For me, everything fits into three categories.
Very close deep relationships. These kinds of relationships feed me, and my creativity.
Finding people that I can connect with on or even close to this level is really difficult though and doesn't happen very often.
In fact, I've never met somebody that I can fully connect with creatively and spiritually.
Superficial relationships
These are people that you have surface level conversations with where basically nothing is being said, nothing of depth, I mean.
These kinds of relationships and interactions. Don't just drain me, um
after a while they fill me with desperation
I have this feeling of being trapped and wanting to escape I know that sounds very dramatic
But I can't really explain it beyond that. It's just one of the reasons why I have always hated
amusement parks, malls, and clubs.
And finally, there's time alone.
I put this in the same category as like food, water,
exercise, and sleep. Basically an absolute necessity
for me to
Properly function as a human being and it's not just that, this is where I want to spend the majority of my time.
There is so much for me to explore
within my own mind
emotionally creatively, I mean I really do think about this a lot
I'm at the very dawn of my career still there's still so much for me to discover and I get excited
Just talking about it
and
When you get that excited about something why wouldn't you want to put all your time and energy into it now Carl Jung the famous?
Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst had some very interesting things to say about
Introversion and extraversion. To start he said, "What appears to be random behavior is actually the result of differences in the way people
prefer to use their mental capacities." To me
that's a mind-blowing statement because it's so true, and yet it's so simply stated.
He also said, "Each person seems to be energized more by either the external world
Extraversion, or the internal world, introversion; and I think that's the key right there
Like I said, I don't see things as being so black-and-white
But I do believe that we all lean in one direction or another. I'm not sure if this has learned behavior
I feel like as a kid I was at least a little bit more extroverted and
Maybe it depends on like the stage of life that you're at, you know if you're going through a period of introspection
Everyone in my immediate family is the exact same way
It's kind of hilarious
If you know or think that maybe you're an introvert
Embrace it, there is no shame in choosing not to hang out with other people and do your own thing
Of course
This is kind of a fine line because in my opinion there is no
excuse not to develop your social skills and your ability to communicate. Warren Buffett said, "If you can't communicate,
it's like winking at a girl in the dark - nothing happens.
You can have all the brainpower in the world,
but you have to be able to transmit it. And the transmission is
communication." That quote kind of makes me laugh because it's true
All I'm trying to say is that I don't think it's healthy to always be avoiding the things that make you uncomfortable
And that's an important distinction that I'm trying to make if you're invited to a party for example
But don't want to go try to figure out what the real reason for
This is it might just be that you don't want to hang out with people and you need time to recharge
Which is totally fine, but it also might be the fact that you're actively avoiding people
And that's a totally different story
I'm definitely not an expert on any of this stuff
But I believe that the only way to get better at communication is by doing it, by the way
I have my own issues with connecting with people. I also have awkward interactions but deeper than that
I feel like I'm often
disappointed by the people that I get to know more deeply as I get to know somebody on a deeper level I
Invariably get to know aspects of their character or their ethics or their emotional intelligence
That I don't align with right and that begins to turn me away from them. Now. There are a few solid takeaways from that
I think one diversity I think is really not a bad thing - nobody's perfect. They don't exist
Thank God actually and if they did why would they want to hang out with me another imperfect person?
I have a very close relationship with both my parents and my brother and
When I lived with them
We would fight all the time and disagree on a whole host of things down to stupid like how to properly load the dishwasher
I'm not kidding. However, okay on the flip side, I think it is good to have high standards
I truly do believe that the five people that you spend the most time with
Really do have a major impact on you and what that means is that I can't give up if I stopped trying to meet people
Altogether, I would I really would end up
Isolated so I signed up to a couple of art classes
Basically, this ends up becoming kind of a balancing act and I'm definitely still figuring things out for myself either way
I think that my ability to communicate which I worked really hard at by the way
Might be one of the most valuable skills that I have and finally a lot of people ask me about loneliness
Once again, and without trying to push things too far to the extreme
I do prefer to be alone than in bad company while this isn't like a major problem for me I do face
feelings of loneliness from time to time but the truth is like I feel like the path to getting to know yourself and
Introspection can be lonely sometimes I think that is a small price to pay for doing something that most people aren't willing to do
Which is to get to know yourself better. I
Wanted to make this video because I think introverts kind of a bad reputation of being socially awkward
timid reclusive and by extension
boring, I mean
I thought that for a very long time maybe I'm biased about all this but I actually think that the world could use more
introversion right now
More time from all of us dedicated to getting to know ourselves
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Alright, I'll see you soon.