Do you know what you sound like?
Let’s see.
Take two pieces of something like cardboard – a couple file folders will do! – and
place them by each side of your head right in front of your ears.
Now, say something, anything!
It’ll sound different, and you probably won’t like it one bit!
Ok, probably easier to just whip your phone out and record yourself…
That’s really the only time you ever hear your own voice – when it’s recorded in
an audio message or a video.
(Well, now you can do that cardboard party trick too!)
And you’re not alone in thinking, “Who is that clumsy, mumbling fella?”
Then you look at the screen and realize to great shame that…
Yeah, it’s you.
And sorry to break it to ya, but what you hear on the recording is what people around
you hear every time you speak to them.
But they don’t mind, so why should you sweat about it so much?
Still, you probably do because it’s so different from how you hear yourself when you’re speaking.
Yes, you hear your voice all the time, more than anyone in the world, but it comes from
inside you, like, in your head!
The last thing you do is hear it with your own ears.
It’s mostly the job of bones in your skull to send the vibrations of your voice to your
inner ear.
And they aren’t as great at that as your ears are.
They’re like a bad mic that’s more attuned to collecting all the lower-pitch sounds.
So if you thought that you have a smooth baritone or bass, that’s probably not the case, unfortunately.
Your real voice is higher than you think!
A recording of your voice may even sound cartoonish.
Some self-made voice actors and narrators, like on YouTube, always lower their voices’
pitch through technical means to make it more pleasant to their audience’s ear.
But deep down, they’re probably doing that so it’ll sound more familiar to them.
Because, honestly, their real voices don’t bother their audience at all!
Can you relate to what I’m saying?
Do you like the way your voice sounds to you better than to others?
What about your reflection in the mirror compared to photos taken of you?
More on the picture thing a bit later, but let me know down in the comments!
Anyway, back to the voice thing.
Once your skull bones have bounced those voice vibrations around and sent them to your inner
ear, the great deceiver – your own brain – does its part.
It smooths out all the inconsistencies.
Probably to make you feel good about yourself and make you more confident, so great job
to it!
Your voice to others, though, doesn’t sound as buttery and poised…sorry.
And once you decide that you need to work on your speech and be more attentive to yourself,
this is where it starts to work against you…
Professional singers, voice actors, and coaches explain that when you speak, more than half
your body takes its part in the formation of the resulting sound.
Posture, the tension in your muscles, your stress levels, and even overall state of health
affects how your voice will sound in the end.
There are AI systems today that can figure out someone’s exact age, mood, how well
their heart works, and even the month of pregnancy using only a recording of their voice!
You, on the other hand, won’t be able to notice any of that because your mind cancels
out all the stuff it considers unnecessary.
Long story short, your voice is one of the greatest sources of information about you,
but it only works for everyone around you.
You hear your voice all the time, but your brain never listens to it.
And it’s meant to be this way.
It’s stressful to be self-aware on that level.
This stress is a big part of all the uncomfortable feelings you have when you hear yourself!
But I say, look at it as a plus!
If you listen to your voice on tape or video, it can tell you a lot about yourself that
you may not have been aware of.
Like, was I really THAT stressed out?
Why is my annunciation so bad?
Am I always mumbling like that?
Whoa, my accent is thicker than I thought!
An especially helpful tip for anyone who does a lot of public speaking!
But this conflict between what you and others hear when you speak isn’t the only reason
why you might cringe at the sound of your own voice.
If this recording is from your past, you probably have every right to do so.
Our voices change drastically throughout our lives.
In just a couple years, you may not recognize yourself speaking at first.
That, and we tend to be really critical of our past selves, and for most of us, for good
reason!
Maybe you went through a weird phase at some point.
“Washing and combing your hair is for conformists!”
Oh, I know, I lived through the early 90s, when grunge was in, and personal hygiene was
out!
We’ve all had our fads, and I can feel your pain through the screen right now.
All you want to do is forget about that period entirely.
But when you hear your voice from that time, your instincts tell you to run for your life
or get rid of that recording.
All of it, all the evidence!!!
And this is where the difference between your perception of yourself and how people generally
see you shines the most.
I bet your relatives say something like, “You were so cute!” when they hear your crackly
pre-teen voice on old family videos.
Yet you’re over there getting redder and redder with each second.
Can embarrassment end a person?
I’m thinking so…
Your voice is surprisingly elastic even without age-related changes.
Did you know that you have a unique voice for every person you talk to on a regular
basis?
You never speak the same way with any of your friends, coworkers, or relatives.
But once again – your mind won’t let you notice that.
And here’s a trick to find out if someone likes you: listen to their pitch.
It’ll be higher than usual!
In fact, we all change our voice, pitch, even our accent to fit in with the people around
us or to get others to like us.
Spend some time down South, and your friends and family up North will be amused by your
new southern accent!
And here’s the thing: if you try to train your voice and delivery, you’ll grow more
tolerant of hearing it!
Why?
Because it becomes more familiar.
Plus, we love control, and being aware and in control of what our voice tells others
makes our brain happy.
Otherwise, it’s really annoying to hear your own lack of control on a recording.
This is also why people usually don’t judge others’ voices so harshly as they do their
own!
You can even trick your friends with that.
Ask them to listen to a mix of voice recordings, and secretly put theirs somewhere in it.
Then ask how they feel about each voice.
The first thing you’ll most certainly notice is that they won’t recognize their own.
And they may even like it the most since they don’t know it’s theirs!
People have a similar relationship with their appearance too.
Because what they see in the mirror is not what they look like to other people or in
photographs.
So true, right?
It's because when you look in the mirror, you can’t see the full picture.
You’re usually up close and focusing on separate details.
But a photo will reveal everything that didn’t catch your attention!
“Does my nose really look that crooked from the side?
Great…”
And about that control thing: it’s far easier to change something in your appearance while
you’re in front of the mirror, yet you have no control when a photo is already taken.
Just like the voice, the real beauty of every person in the world comes from the inside.
And like your voice, all you need is to be a bit more attentive to yourself to see it,
as other people see it.
And they most certainly do!
If you learned something new today, then give the video a like and share it with a friend!
And here are some other cool videos I think you'll enjoy.
Just click to the left or right, and stay on the Bright Side of life!