I wonder what's inside.
Whatever it is it looks expensive.
Whatever it is, it looks like it's about to belong to me.
- Us. - Yeah, that.
[glug glug glug]
Objection!
You can only use your off-hand to Attack as a Bonus Action if you used your Action to Attack.
You used your Action to drink a potion so you'll have to wait until your next turn.
I'm not dead?!
Sorry, I can't help it...
It's the rules.
That rule is dumb!
In real life I can drink a potion and hit someone. Look!
Ow!
See?
I don't write the rules.
I merely enforce them.
What about Rule of Cool?
The rules are what make it cool.
You know, you're not supposed to follow them to the letter. They're more like a guide.
If that's the way they're written in the book...
That's the way they're intended to be used.
Hold on!
I didn't know that you could read.
My chances of hitting aren't good.
Perhaps if I inspire myself.
Mirror mirror in my hand, who's the fairest in all the land?
~You are~
[screams]
Not so fast!
Bards can only Inspire others, not themselves.
The balls... Really?
Come on!
Antrius would totally inspire himself.
- Sorry, rules as written. - Aw!
Nixie! Your turn.
Don't worry guys...
I've got an idea!
Fireball!
Ahem!
The spell Fireball, along with Verbal and Somatic components,
Also requires Material components, which you forgot to purchase last time you were in town.
Unless, of course, you have an Arcane Focus?
What's an Arcane Focus?
You are unable to cast!
I'm invincible!
Oh, come on!
Surely you can bend the rules for this one. Just please, please!
The rules are like physics... Can't be broken.
Well if the rulebook commands it.
I use my Action Surge to gain an additional Action, and then I hold my Action.
Hold for what?
And I unsheathe and sheathe my dagger as a Free Action.
Um-um. Can you take this seriously?!
And I use my Free Action... To talk.
So you guys would never believe what happened in my stream the other day - it was like pretty--
You get six seconds per round. You can't talk that much!
Six seconds?
- We flank him. - So we get Advantage on our next Attack.
That is an optional rule. I do not have to honour that Advantage. There's no Advantage!
And I... Knock him onto the ground!
So we get Advantage on the Advantage on the Attack.
There's no such thing as Advantage on Advantage!
- If each round is six seconds... - Ugh!
- We each hit him. - Ooft!
- Then wait exactly six seconds. - Ah!
Before hitting him again!
I died again.
Ok-- Guys. Just because it's written that way in the book doesn't mean that's the way it's intended to go.
The rules are like physics...
Can't be broken.
Now that's what I'm talking about.
There's just one more thing.
Gold weighs between 7.2 to 7.9 grams per coin.
You're all nearing encumbrance.
You'll have to leave it behind.
Being a DM is a lot like herding cats.
Sometimes instead of players I wish I had units that I could tell exactly where to go and what to do.
And with today's sponsor, Conqueror's Blade, I can do just that.
Oh, so we're doing ads now?
Just because I do the voices of all the NPCs doesn't mean that I'm doing your voice too.
And besides I have mouths to feed!
You mean my mouth?
Conqueror's Blade is a Free-To-Play tactical MMO set in a vast open medieval world,
Where players command an army, create a warlord, and raise an empire.
You can do all that but you can't remember to feed me hamb?
You're just a figment of my imagination. You can't tell me what to--
You were saying? [ugly laughter]
The game features epic 15v15 siege battles led by your own customisable warlord,
A powerful commander that can specialise in one of 11 unique weapon classes.
They're currently up to Season VI: Scourge of Winter,
Which is the latest FREE update that comes with new units, new rewards, and new lore, along with brand new US servers.
Have a fresh start and enjoy smoother, more stable gameplay.
- As stable as your mental health, would you say? - Not listening... I'm not listening...
To celebrate they're giving away a FREE 7-Day Premium Account which you can get by following the link in the description.
Mount up, draw your blade, and get ready to hit the battlefield.
- You mean these blades? - [screams]
- Hey viewers, your friendly barbarian here. Just want to say "Thanks for watching." - What are you doing?!
- What? What? I'm doing the outro! - This is my thing! This is my thing!
- This is your thing? - This is my thing!
I used to be every NPC. Who's this guy?
- What? They brought me on because y-- - Where did they get this guy? Get out!
Alright. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem.
Thanks for watching. This has been Rules Lawyer. I have been your Rules Lawyer.
Let us know in the comments--
And for all of you currently typing "Chapter 1 of the DM's Guide literally says the rules are meant as a guideline" we know.
- This is a parody. We get it. And this is going on. - [heckling]
- Okay but seriously, Like and Subscribe to Deerstalker. - You're a big dick!
- Smash that bell icon. - Nobody likes a Rules Lawyer!
- Consider contributing to our Patreon because-- - [unintelligible]
Because they didn't get the treasure, and they need it and--
Obey the rules. Be nice to your DM okay? Th-they try. They try hard.