- When attracting a specific person,
there are three main fatal mistakes that people make
that completely block up the process.
And in this video, I'm gonna show you exactly what those are
and how you can shift the energy back in your favor.
Now, the first thing, and the first challenge
that many people have
when trying to attract a specific person
is when someone is thinking of a specific person.
Now, the challenge with this to begin with,
is when we are specific,
we are specifically sending out energy.
Imagine that there's an energy field around your body,
and, which there is, and the thoughts, the feelings
and the emotions that you consistently feel
are charging up this energetic field.
Now imagine that when you think of someone specifically,
you are sending out that energy
to where only they can get it or feel it.
Now what happens is, because we are all connected,
the energy that we feel, we project out.
And in a way, when it comes to a specific person,
you're like, sending it to that energetic address in a way.
And when you are desiring a specific person,
what ends up happening is,
a lot of times you may also feel the lack,
the lack and the desire and the desire.
And the lack itself is resistance energy.
So you're feeling resistance,
you're wanting someone, a specific person's validation,
approval, attention, whatever you want.
As you are projecting that energy at them,
it is literally repelling them,
because in the body, what is felt, is resistance and lack.
So that energy's going out to them, they're feeling it,
and it's literally causing them to run away, to be repelled.
It's almost like chasing.
It's like if you chase around a dog or an animal,
it'll think you're playing with it, and it'll run away.
Might even have fun running away, right?
Well, in the same way, energetically, when it comes
to people and relationships, if we're chasing somebody else,
it's sane in a way as well, where I'm at isn't safe,
where I'm at isn't comfortable, but I'm gonna chase you
because there's something you have that I want.
And that energy is very repelling.
It is also very limiting.
Think of it.
If it's like, what is the story you have around this person,
and why their validation, approval
or attention will bring you happiness?
Because if you get caught up in the story
that, that is the key, the ticket,
and everything to happiness,
then what happens is you've limited yourself
to one person outta the 7 billion people
or eight plus billion people on the planet.
And it's making it very important that things go well,
because there's scarcity.
It's like oneitis,
Oneitis is when you put that one person on a pedestal,
and if it doesn't work out, it's gonna screw everything up.
And there's so much importance,
and there's so much energy that's sent to this,
that it resists, and it ends up blocking the process.
So for this, one of the main fatal mistakes people make
with attracting a specific person,
is that they actually have a specific person to begin with.
Having a specific person to begin with, means that
you're specifically sending one person resistant energy
that says, I lack, I want and I don't have right now.
And the cure to this, I would say,
is to actually go more general, go more general.
Sometimes as well, I think when people
are intending to attract love,
one thing they do, is they have a whole list
of things that they want somebody to have.
They must be this way, look like this, have green eyes
and all of these things, and do this for a living.
And if they meet all of these long list of things then,
they'll make the cut.
And there's such high expectations there.
The challenge is that a lot of the things
on the list normally, are very superficial things.
They're not based in energy.
They're based in like, physical characteristics normally.
And that sometimes, I think, is also an intimacy block.
People have such a high expectation, such a high list,
that it prevents them from almost meeting anybody,
and nobody makes the cut.
And that keeps them safe and single,
and from having to deal with intimacy,
or they attract people that are very superficial.
because they meet at least some of these things.
So one thing I'd recommend you do, is to go more general,
and to focus on the qualities and the values
that you wanna attract.
Because then you get out of scarcity and into abundance.
Out of scarcity and into abundance, think about that.
If it's one person everything has to work out well,
(muttering quickly)
and then it's screwed,
it's a lot of importance, it's a lot of excess energy.
But if it's realizing that, you know,
I want these qualities,
maybe the qualities you want,
you want someone that's playful,
you want someone that's vulnerable.
You want someone that wants to be emotionally available,
or is emotionally available.
Which means you're emotionally available,
or at least opening up your heart.
These different qualities,
maybe somebody that has a purpose,
that has a vision in their life,
but it doesn't mean they do this exact thing, you know.
Because when you're not limiting yourself,
you then open up the energy potential,
and you allow more things to flow through.
Then you're also in abundance.
When you're in abundance,
it's like you have way more magnetic energy.
So, for this, realize that there's an abundance
of love out there.
And you're putting one person on a pedestal,
you try to get the specific person,
you're sending them energy with resistance.
And instead, let go and stop attracting
this specific person,
and start focusing on the qualities you want to attract.
What are the qualities, what are the values?
Go to comment below
and leave some of the values you want
and intend to attract into your life.
Playfulness, connection.
I mean, there's all these different energies,
a good sense of humor maybe,
maybe you want someone that's very serious.
I've met people in my life, even friends,
or people that I've dealt with in different ways
that have, they're very serious.
They don't like to have fun, or they don't like, you know,
they have a very rigid sense of play.
They may not like that.
Probably good for them, but maybe they don't like it.
We all have different values, different things.
'Cause then there's also, I guess, a limit,
because then you got someone who's joking around
all the time, and you're like,
"Can you just take this one thing seriously?"
Even when you're trying to be vulnerable, you know.
I don't know, but I'm just saying.
I used to say, oh, everyone wants to be playful
and have fun, but not everybody does.
So that's the first thing.
That's the first fatal mistake people make.
And right from the beginning, it's just the fact
that you clicked on the video,
and you might have a specific person,
which is a good sign, you know?
If you clicked on the video about specific person.
So, let go of that energy and start to go more general.
Realize that the second thing,
is that the second fatal mistake people make,
is that in their mind,
they treat this person with the halo effect.
This specific person is on a pedestal, it's amazing.
And this person is perfect in so many ways.
There's nothing really wrong with them.
And what has happened is we've had this story,
this glorified story of this halo effect,
that is causing them to be on this big pedestal.
And remember, when people are on a pedestal energetically,
that messes up the energy,
it gives excess meaning to it.
Remember everything in life has no built-in meaning,
other than the meaning we give it.
There are some people that will look
at certain people in their life.
And it's very casual,
it's very easy for them to be themselves.
But then what happens, is they meet somebody new,
and they put them on a pedestal
and then they start acting kind of weird.
Cause it's like, "I hope I say the right thing.
I hope I'm in the right place at the right time,
I hope this person doesn't get too annoyed, blah, blah."
And that, it messes up the energy,
instead of just being yourself.
And when you stop being yourself to be somebody
that you think somebody else wants you to be,
it's a very messy energy.
But one thing that you could begin to do,
is to reduce the meaning you give to somebody,
thinking and treating them like a celebrity.
'Cause remember?
As I've been saying in a couple recent videos,
if you treat someone like a celebrity,
they're gonna treat you like a celebrity.
No, they're gonna treat you like a fan.
'Cause that's the energy dynamic.
So the key to that is become aware of that energy
and to stop putting people on a pedestal
by realizing the story you're telling yourself
about this person probably ain't true.
Not that they're not great and awesome,
but that, it's not that they're great and awesome,
and you're a piece of crap.
They're not just perfect.
A lot of times what we're doing,
is we're trying to close the loop from childhood.
We're attracting people
that replace similar, familiar childhood dynamics
from when we were kids,
and hoping that we can prove them wrong.
We're hoping we can prove that,
no, I am worthy.
I do deserve to be chosen.
And we're trying to prove it wrong through other people
because we haven't healed it from our childhood.
I think this is called the imago in psychology.
It's called the imago, this image we have of our parents
that we project onto other people to try to close the loop
and to heal from childhood.
So what's the cure to this?
Well, to disengage the story, to change the meaning,
to stop putting people on a damn pedestal.
Stop doing it, stop it, just stop it.
Why are you doing that?
Why are you treating someone like they're so amazing
and you're not?
You're amazing too.
Everything has zero built-in meaning,
other than meaning we give it.
Doesn't mean that we have to say, "I'm the best."
Like, we don't have to go around;
it's like, it's good to have self-confidence
but at the same time,
it's built on a faulty premise of significance sometimes.
Which is very dangerous.
So, with that be being said as well,
before we get into the third one,
just so you know,
I'm doing a 21 day confidence challenge
for finding and feeling safe in your own frame,
how to disengage and let go of people pleasing,
nice guy syndrome, how to stop, like, tethering
to other people's frame,
and how to really feel safe in your own body,
and how to have high level of confidence
by reducing the doubt, the fear and everything
that's kept us in a box.
A lot of times this stuff stems from childhood too.
We weren't empowered growing up,
so we have a low sense of self confidence,
we think we're doing something wrong.
The word confidence actually means to trust,
to build trust with yourself,
and to build trust with the universe.
And in the 21 day challenge
that starts July 1st through the 21st,
it's exactly what we're gonna be doing,
is wiring that end in a very powerful way,
having the group accountability,
having live sessions, live coaching.
If you wanna join, now is the best time to join.
Just go to www.confidencelovechallenge.com,
or click the link of the description box below.
Now, with that being said, the third thing,
and the third fatal mistake people make
when attracting a specific person
is that they are so attached to the outcome.
It's like when they're in conversation with somebody else,
it's like the energy is on wanting something,
wanting something from them,
in the sense of wanting their validation, their approval,
or whatever it is.
What ends up happening, is everything is a means to an end
versus an end of itself.
The energy's very different.
When I was selling women's shoes,
if I was talking to a customer because I wanted them
to buy something, very repellent energy.
They didn't like it as much, because it was conditional.
But when I was talking to someone to connect with them,
to have fun, that's an end of itself.
When we want something from a specific person,
and we're trying to get them to text back or validation.
Everything becomes a means to an end.
And what the means to an end is,
a lot of times, is if they would approve,
if they would respond to me and do what I want,
they will then validate me
and give me approval and help me feel safe.
This is really a game of feeling safe.
Can we feel safe in the moment?
Or do we feel safe once something happens in the future?
And this is normally a repatterned thing from childhood,
where maybe we didn't feel safe when we were kids,
and we're thinking to ourself, "Can I feel safe now?
Or will I feel safe when I have dad's approval?
Will I feel safe when mom does this or that,
or nourishes me in this way?"
And the key to this,
is not doing things to get somewhere else,
but to actually be present to this moment.
For it to be an end of itself,
to be playful, to have fun, to enjoy.
Because when you're enjoying, when you're playing,
when you're having fun,
I'll tell you, your energy is way more magnetic.
Your energy has this pull to it,
just literally magnetizes people to you,
because you're being present to the moment.
If you go out and have fun with your friends,
and you're just having fun, and you're in the moment?
You are way more attractive than if you're going out
and you're trying to get something from someone else,
and you're wanting things to happen in a certain way,
and you want them to text you back.
It completely changes the energy.
And the way you change this energy, or the way you shift it,
is instead of things being a means to an end,
you have things being end of itself.
Like, you can do the dishes so that the kitchen is clean,
or you can do the dishes to do the dishes.
It's more of a meditation.
I know it doesn't sound like a lot of fun.
Okay, you're telling me I gotta do the dishes,
to do the dishes.
But if you do the dishes, to do the dishes,
you'll be present to the moment.
You'll feel the water over your hands,
you'll be more present,
you'll have more magnetic energy,
you'll feel safer in your body too.
If I'm making this video right now
because I wanted to get a lot of views?
I hope it gets so many views, and I hope you like it,
and I hope, please like the video, like the video,
like the video.
Feel that needy, desperate energy?
You probably don't like it.
You don't wanna reward it.
But if I'm making this video, because this is who I am,
this is the way I choose to express myself,
I wanna have fun with this video.
Then you probably feel that energy too.
Can you feel that?
if you can?
Can you please like this video?
You don't have to if you don't want to,
but if you like it,
you see, see the energy difference there.
Please like this video, vs. if you want to, you can.
You see, with a specific person,
you're trying to attract a specific person,
and you're like, "Please like the video,
please like me, please like me."
They're like, Ugh.
You're like, "You know what?
You can like me if you want, but you don't got to,
'cause I feel safe within myself."
It's a very different energy.
It's much more attractive.
Am I right?
So for this, as well, if you wanna know
why they always come back once you let them go
and exactly how to completely attach,
the most powerful video is right here.
Simply watching this video right here,
will increase the probability
of someone actually coming back.
And in this video,
I'm gonna show you the five reasons someone will come back,
and the five things you can actually do about it
that will help shift to the energy.