- I feel like my pants are a little tight
after that vacation.
I'm gonna be more mindful with what I'm eating.
I'm gonna work out six days a week and say no to booze.
And in eight to 10 weeks,
maybe my waistband will no longer pinch me.
I had too many nachos on vacation.
Pants are feeling a little tight.
Let me have this one bite of kale this just one time.
Wow, I've lost so much weight all of a sudden,
my pants are falling down.
I should Google weight gaining solutions
from that one bite of kale I had one time.
I've meditated.
I've taken my 27 herbal sleep supplements.
I've been off screen since 7 PM.
Now it'll only take me 45 minutes to an hour to fall asleep.
Babe, I had a really tough day at work (snores).
Ugh, I had one glass of wine last night,
I was up all night sweating. I think I'm hung over.
Can I not even have wine anymore?
(exhales) Those four beers I had right before bed
just knocked me out.
I even forgot where I was. I slept great.
Okay, I gotta cut this workout short.
I gotta take a shower, blow dry my hair, pick out an outfit.
That way I can be ready for my 9 AM meeting.
Babe, don't worry. I got three minutes to get ready.
I got two more reps to do.
Just another cycle of dead lifts
and I'll be ready, it's fine.
Okay, I have a plan for new meals every night.
It only took me four hours to plan and shop.
And now I'll just spend the rest of the day
planning and cooking so our weeknights run smoothly.
It's my week to meal plan?
Okay, kids. Why don't you just scroll the Door Dash app.
Oh, I need to switch it up a little bit?
Try Uber Eats. Treat yourself.
Oh, crap I have to reschedule my hair appointment.
It means it's gonna be another two months
before I can get in.
Or I can reschedule all my meetings
on the random weekday she has available in four weeks.
Huh, kind of need a haircut.
Huh, you're available all day?
Cool, I'll see you in five minutes.
I just finished the itinerary for the girls' weekend.
I got a couple tours lined up, of course.
I've got reservations for dinner,
we have spa appointments after our boozy brunch.
What are we doing on our guys' trip?
I don't know, we'll figure it out when we get there.
I don't even know what city we're going to.
Okay, I need some shampoo, conditioner, a hair mask,
clarifying rinse, body wash, face wash, exfoliator.
Why you spending all your money on all that stuff?
I got a 12-in-one. Hair, face, body.
(beep) I even brush my teeth with it.
2.99 BOGO. You should try it.
Put it on your list.
So should I wear heels or wedges with this?
Or even just like a fun little flat sandal.
I don't think I have enough options
to make an informed decision.
I should go shoe shopping.
Isn't it great that sneakers are like dress shoes?
Wear 'em from the gym, straight to dinner, then to church.
You just wear the one pair of shoes, just for everything.
No changing.
Okay, 30 seconds before we have to leave?
Plenty of time for me to go to the bathroom.
There's no way I can leave in five minutes.
I need at least 30, 45.
Who am I kidding to do my business in here.
Guys, just sit tight.
We'll be late. It's fine.
(laughs) Hey babe, I'm gonna send you this video.
You gotta see it.
There are advantages to being my husband.
He falls asleep before his head hits the pillow.
- That's accurate. - Yes.
And meanwhile, I'm sitting there tossing and turning
for an hour and a half.
Listen, maybe this is not the way it works in your marriage.
Maybe in your marriage--
- This is all really accurate.
- Yeah, but in our marriage he eats one salad one time
and he's like, babe,
can you give me some protein powder or something?
- That's the least accurate.
Cause I do work out. Like I do, I work hard to--
- I know but you say one time.
You're like, ah, I ate a lot of nachos.
I should just lay off the nachos.
And literally he'll have like, one beer instead of two
and his pants are falling off.
- I'll tell you what the most,
but here's the least accurate for us
is the three beers knocked me right out, I'm totally fine.
Like I can't drink three beers and not pay for it anymore.
The most accurate is the meal prep.
- Yes. - Like that is (laughs).
Anytime Kim's like, can you handle dinner?
We're just, we're kind of busy, I just get it delivered.
Or like I go and pick, actually more,
I'd probably go and pick it up more often,
but I have not cooked in a long time.
- The fact that you can get ready in 14 seconds is just...
- And thank you fashion
for letting me have one pair of shoes for everything.
- Yes. - Like that is,
and it's weird that a lot of my friends
have like, 47 pairs of sneakers that are fashion things.
I have one and it's for everything.
No one cares, like you can wear sneakers to church now.
And one's looking at you funny.
- Nobody's looking at you.
- No.
- Bye.
- Babe, I can pick you up. Watch.
Ready? - Okay.
- Hang on.
- Oh my god, no. - Nope.
Stand straight up.
- Ah! Okay.
- You got it. Okay, good.
- Okay.
Babe, don't worry.
Gotta hold three whole minutes.
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