-Jack, looking great, buddy.
-[ Sighs ] This is so lovely.
I have a chance to put on a suit.
That has been a rarity of late,
and some human contact, as well, which is just a joy.
-You look like you're feeling better.
I know that you had coronavirus.
I'm sorry about that.
What was it like? I mean --
-I had it early! I was, like --
I had, like, pre-Tom Hanks coronavirus,
before celebrities were even getting it.
And I had it in the first week of lockdown, and it was --
Yeah, it was like -- I had it pretty bad,
and I think I'm quite fit and healthy.
And I'd seen my parents just before the lockdown had started,
so I was terrified that I gave it to them.
And it was -- Yeah. It's real. Wash your hands. Wear a mask.
-Yep. How is your dad doing, by the way?
We always talk about your dad when you're on the show.
-Yeah. [ Chuckles ]
Yeah, it's been weird.
I-I haven't been able to hug him for...
31 years, and so now -- -[ Laughs ]
Oh, we got to work on that. We got to work on that.
-Yeah. We have a -- -Are you able to see him at all?
Do you get to see him, or -- socially distant?
-Yeah, I actually did a Father's Day special
for the BBC, which we filmed at his house.
I was in the garden, and he was in the house.
And I did a load of, like, Father's Day surprises for him.
So, I got, like, a big brass band outside his bedroom window
at 6:00 in the morning to play "The Dam Busters" theme tune,
which is his favorite song, although turns out
not his favorite song at 6:00 in the morning.
And then I was worried that he wasn't gonna be able
to kind of travel the world with me,
which is something that he loves doing,
and I was sad that he was gonna be stuck in the house,
and I thought he was a little bit like
the little, old man from "Up," and that got me thinking.
So then my second surprise for him
was that I put like 300 balloons on the roof of his house.
I was like, "This is amazing!
This is an amazing Father's Day gift,"
but he did not see it that way. -That is brilliant!
How are you not being able to travel and see other people
and, you know -- 'cause you're always out doing stuff.
Are you getting used to being by yourself?
-Yeah, I mean, now our sort of lockdown is over,
and people are going back into real life.
Gyms are open this week, which is, like, a big thing for --
I mean, not for me. I'm not much of a gym guy.
-Oh, really? -I actually --
[ Chuckling ] Yeah, thank you for faking surprise there.
-That's my acting -- That's my acting --
No, you're --
-That is exceptional acting work, Jimmy.
Like, this -- I'll put it down to a delay on the connection,
but that was way -- "Really?"
You're a great host and a wonderful actor,
but that was not even believable for like a split-second.
[ Both laugh ]
-No, I -- -This suit is cut very well,
but beneath it, I have a body that looks like
it's been drawn by a child. -[ Laughs ]
-I do go to the gym, though.
I just don't, like -- I'm not, like, a weights guy.
I actually -- [ Laughs ]
I have a story I'll tell you.
I was in a gym once,
and it reminds me 'cause I'm wearing these.
'Cause I don't know about you.
I have this problem with AirPods.
I do it all the time now, where I don't realize
that my AirPods have not synched to my mobile phone,
and my music is, like, playing to everyone.
-Oh, yes.
-Do you ever do that? -Yes, of course.
Yeah, I've done that. Absolutely, yeah.
Like, the Bluetooth doesn't kick in.
-Yeah, and you're just, like, sat there,
and everyone's looking at you.
And it's awful, 'cause I also have terrible music taste.
But I had it in the gym.
When I go to the gym,
I find a little exercise bike in the corner.
I put on a hoodie.
I get like incline 0.5, and I put on something mellow,
like a kind of -- like an audiobook.
I like classical music, film scores.
-Really? -And then I have a little --
just a little pootle,
like, a quiet, little pootle in the corner
like a little, old lady cycling to the grocery store.
And I was doing it. I'm there with the hoodie on and things --
and everyone is looking at me.
And, like, my initial thought for some reason was like,
"Wow, they must all be looking over here
'cause Quadzilla's burning some serious rubber."
And then I had a slow moment where it dawned upon me
that the actual reason everyone in this gym was looking at me
is that I was on a bike, hoodie up, AirPods in,
playing to the entire gym the theme tune from "E.T."
Just there -- -[ Laughs ]
You were Elliott! You were Elliott!
-I'm Elliott! I'm like, I cannot go back to that gym.
-[ Laughing ] Oh, my God. That's perfect.
That is perfect. Oh, my gosh.
Hey, I love -- I love the special.
It's called "I'm Only Joking." In the special,
you talk about your worst gig, which we've talked about.
I don't want to spoil it, but it involves the royal family,
and it's a great story.
It's so embarrassing and awesome.
What would you think is your second-worst gig?
-I think my second-worst gig
should have been the best gig ever,
but I made the fatal error of thinking that it would be that.
And it's when I got asked to perform
for my soccer team, Arsenal.
And you're a big sports fan.
You support the Red Sox?
Have you performed for them?
-No, I would never do that. I don't think -- No.
I would never do it. -I needed that advice,
'cause I was young. I was naive.
I was like, "This'll be amazing."
I was asked to perform
at the Christmas party for my soccer team.
-I don't think the Red Sox would know who I am.
-Well, the Arsenal team
definitely did not know who I am.
I arrived for the Christmas party.
I went into the venue.
The organizer took me downstairs to a bowling alley,
and I was like, "Oh, so -- Where's the stage
that I'm performing on?"
She went, "Oh, it's not so much a gig.
It's -- They're here to bowl.
We just thought we could give you a microphone,
and you could crack some jokes whilst they're bowling."
I was like, "That is definitely not a thing."
-This hurts me -- This hurts me just hearing this.
-I know. You -- As someone that's done comedy,
you can understand how horrific this was.
I stood there with a microphone at the side of a bowling lane
as all of my heroes bowled,
and I was, like, heckling them from the side.
None of them knew I was a comedian
or that I'd been booked to do stand-up,
so they thought I was an employee of the venue.
They were looking over at me going,
"This bowling alley guy is a little over-familiar."
[ Laughing ] And then -- Then after that --
It got worse, 'cause after the bowling,
they went through to the next room,
where they had a karaoke machine set up,
'cause that was the next part of the evening's festivities.
Because I'd been on the microphone,
they assumed I was employed by the venue,
so the club captain, Mikel Arteta, one of my heroes,
comes up to me. He's like,
"Oh, here's a list of all the songs that we want played."
I was like, "Oh, no, no, I'm the comedian."
He was like, "Mate, can you just put on 'Despacito'?"
So then I became the karaoke deejay
for the rest of the night. One of the players came over
and complained to me that the pizza bites were cold.
I was like, "I don't work here!
I am a professional comedian!
I've played Wembley!" -Oh, my gosh.
-I was getting their coats by the end of the night.
It was horrific, Jimmy.
-Also in the special, by the way, I love --
There's an awkward moment with two humans in the audience,
if you know what I'm talking about.
Can you explain what happened?
And that was -- It was a magic moment.
-It was -- It was a -- Yeah.
The comedy gods were looking down on me.
I was doing a bit in the show
where I was talking about safe sex,
you know, safety first.
And I was telling a cautionary tale
about a friend of mine who had had a one-night stand,
and he got the one that you can't get rid of --
kids.
-Oh, yeah. -True story. True story.
I tell that bit.
I look out into the front row, and I see this old guy
turn to his daughter
and, like, give her, like, a dig in the ribs.
And I should have let it go, but I couldn't.
I was like, "Wow, did you just nudge your daughter
after I did that joke?"
And he looked really mortified. And I looked at the daughter,
and the daughter was giving it, like, the full Beyoncé,
pointing at the wedding ring.
It was his wife.
Camera cuts to them,
15,000 people, like, in hysterics.
I couldn't speak. I was so embarrassed
that I'd called out this guy.
-It's perfect. -I mean, to be fair,
if you've got, like, a creepy age gap in a relationship,
do not sit in the front row of a comedy show
for a Netflix live recording.
You're only asking for it.
But it's in the show, and, I mean,
hopefully they are still a couple
and I haven't ruined their lives.
But it was -- I couldn't speak for like two minutes.
Watch it. Like, you --
I was wearing so much makeup,
you can genuinely see me change color.
I was that embarrassed.
-I want to show everyone a clip from the special.
Here's a look at, "I'm Only Joking."
-No one in this entire 10,000-strong arena
has ever made a decent piece of toast
on the hotel conveyor belt toaster.
Unfathomably [bleep]
and handily fitted with a small window
so you can witness your misery play out in slow-motion.
[ Laughter ]
First time through.
[ Laughter ]
[ Whooshes ]
Still bread.
[ Laughter ]
Second time through.
[ Whooshes ]
Barely warm.
Third time through.
Burnt to a crisp! [ Laughter ]
-My thanks to Jack Whitehall.
Jack, I miss you, buddy.
His special, "I'm Only Joking," is on Netflix now.
I appreciate you being on the show, pal. Thank you so much.
-I love you. I need to get a drink. Bye, Jimmy.
-[ Laughs ] Bye.