( APPLAUSE )
I'M NOT.
HEY, EVERYBODY.
WE'RE BACK WITH THE AUTHOR OF "GLITTER EVERY DAY," ANDY COHEN.
YOU JUST ANNOUNCED-- THIS IS A BIG MOVE IN ANDIE WORLD, WHICH
I'VE JUST COINED.
CAN I COIN ANDIE WORLD.
>> THANK YOU, YES.
>> Stephen: IS THAT "REAL HOUSEWIVES" IS GOING
INTERNATIONAL.
>> YES, WE ARE.
>> Stephen: WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GOING?
>> DUBAI.
YES, BILLIONAIRES' PLAYGROUND.
>> Stephen: FIRST OF ALL, SHOULD STEP ONE OF WORLD
DOMINION?
>> YES.
>> Stephen: WORLD DOMINATION.
>> WORLD DOMINATION, THIS IS IT.
>> Stephen: HAVE YOU ALREADY IDENTIFIED WHO THESE REAL
HOUSEWIVES ARE?
>> WE HAVE.
WE HAVEN'T ANNOUNCED THE CAST YET.
>> Stephen: YOU CAN'T GIVE US ANY HINTS?
>> I CANNOT, NO.
>> Stephen: NOT EVEN A HINT?
WHAT FLOOR OF THE B THE BERGE DO LIVE ON?
>> 120.
>> Stephen: THE 15th VERSERY OF "HOUSE WIVES" IS THIS
YEAR.
YOU DESCRIBE IT AS "SOCIOLOGICAL TIME CAPSULES."
>> YES.
>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
>> I THINK IF YOU LOOK BACK, ESPECIALLY AT THE EARLY YEARS
WHEN WE LOOKED BACK, WHEN WE HAD THE "REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ORANGE
COUNTY" IN THOSE EARLY YEARS.
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> YOU CAN LOOK AT THOSE THOSE AND IT WAS LIKE SOCIOLOGY OF THE
NOUVEAU REACH LIVING IN GATED COMMUNITIES, HOW THEY BEHAVED AT
CERTAIN TIMES, HOW THEY DRESSED, HOW THEY INTERACTED.
AND SOMEWHERE YOU COULD PUT THEM ON A SPACESHIP AND JUST SHOCK
THE STRATOSPHERE UP THERE.
>> Stephen: HOLIDAYS ARE COMING UP.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: AND YOU KNOW DRAMA AND THROWING WINE IN PEOPLE'S
FACES.
CAN YOU GIVE ANY ADVICE ON PEOPLE WHO MIGHT BE DEALING WITH
DRAMA AT THE FAMILY TABLE?
>> MY ADVICE IS LEAN INTO IT.
IF IF YOU HAVE TWO PEOPLE AT THE TABLE WHO DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER,
MAKE THE DINNER INTERESTING FOR EVERYONE.
SAY TO THEM, "WHAT'S THE ISSUE?" YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
>> Stephen: REALLY?
>> YES, ABSOLUTELY!
MAKE IT A DINNER TO REMEMBER!
ABSOLUTELY!
>> Stephen: SO THE VACCINATED PERSON NEXT TO THE UNVACCINATED
PERSON.
>> EXACTLY, EXACTLY!
I LOVE IT.
OR JUST SOMETHING SIMPLE LIKE, YOU KNOW, AUNT TRUDY, DID YOU
THINK THOSE PANTS WERE THE BECHT CHOICE FOR TONIGHT?
AND WHY DID YOU THINK THAT?" ABSOLUTELY.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE THEY'RE HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDSTOOTH.
>> RIGHT.
>> Stephen: AND IT'S VERY FORGIVING.
>> I KNOW.
"AUNT TRUDY, LOOK AT YOUR TU CAS IN THE PANTS.
>> Stephen: THEY WOULD LOVE ME TO WRAP OVER THERE AND I WON'T
DO IT.
>> GOOD, SCREW WITH THEM.
>> Stephen: I WON'T DO IT.
DO PEOPLE EVER SAY TO YOU OVER YOUR SHOULDER, "YOU HAVE TO WRAP
IT UP?
YOU HAVE TO WRAP IT UP."
>> I'M LIVE SO I DO HAVE TO WRAP IT UP.
>> Stephen: WHY?
>> BECAUSE I'M GOING TO GET BOOTED OFF THE AIR BY A-- BY THE
MACHINE THAT CUTS US OFF THE AIR.
>> Stephen: IS IT ROBOTS?
>> I DON'T KNOW HOW IT WORKS, BUT, YES.
I KNOW THEY HIT THE WALL -- >> Stephen: IT'S ALWAYS LIVE?
"WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE" IS ALWAYS LIVE?
>> NO, YOU'VE BEEN ON BEFORE WHEN IT'S BEEN ON TAPE.
>> Stephen: SO YOU'RE LYING TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE.
>> NO, I'M NOT.
SOMETIMES IT'S LIVE.
THERE ARE TIMES I HAVE BEEN SIPTING WITH YOU, AND I GET SO
ENCHANTED WITH YOU AS YOU ARE WITH ME RIGHT NOW.
>> Stephen: AND YOU HAVE A BAR.
>> WHAT I LOVE WHEN YOU'RE AT MY SHOW, YOU HAVE TRULY WALKED OUT
OF MY PLACE LEGLESS.
LEGLESS.
>> Stephen: I HAVE, I HAVE.
BECAUSE USUALLY-- DO YOU SHOOT MORE THAN ONE IN AN EVENING OR
SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
>> SOME NIGHTS.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE I GET THERE, AND I'M NOT THE FIRST
GUY, AND THERE'S BARE IN YOUR DRESSING ROOM.
AND I GET-- I GET-- I GET MY CRUNK ON BEFORE I SEE YOU.
AND AFTER I SAY, "WHAT THE ( BLEEP ) DID I SAY TO ANDIE?"
AND I TURN TO KERRY, OUR DEAR FRIEND, MY PUBLICIST.
AND I GO, "WHAT DID I SAY?
SHOULD I BEG HIM TO CUT SOME OF THAT?
AND SHE WAS LIKE, "IT WAS GREAT."
>> IT ALWAYS IS.
>> Stephen: PLEASE HAVE ME BACK.
>> PLEASE COME BACK.
MAYBE YOU'LL COME ON OUR NEW YEAR'S SHOW WITH ME AND
ANDERSON.
>> Stephen: I ABSOLUTELY--
I, MY FRIEND, WILL BE WATCHING.
>> OH!
♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HIS BOOK, "GLITTER
EVERY DAY," IS AVAILABLE NOW.
ANDY COHEN, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY THUNDERCAT.
♪ ♪ ♪