- Attracting love is a reflection
more than it is something of trying
to get something outside.
I want that person over there to text me back.
I want that person over there to go out with me.
I want that person over there just to be my person.
And a lot of times what happens is when we have the desire
and we want something,
the want comes from an energy of lack.
It says, I want that
because it's not what's inside me already.
And one of the things that will exponentialize the process
of you attracting love, exponentialize you feeling self love
within yourself and feeling safe within your own frame
is understanding that everything, everything,
literally everything that we desire in our lives
or want in our lives already exists inside of us.
I wish I would've known this a lot earlier
'cause there's been a lot of time searching.
And the more you search,
the more you distance yourself from that thing.
I'm learning this too because I'm
in a stage right now where I've been
like, trying to get clear as to, you know,
I've built like this YouTube channel
with all this attention and all this energy
and I wanna like, branch off into this new like, area
of my business and my life and I wanna simplify my life.
And I'm like, what is my core message?
What is my core message?
What do I represent?
And I'm looking at all these other creators
in my space and kind of comparing myself.
I'm like, okay so their their message is this,
their message is this,
their message, it's all very clear and simple
but I have like 1700 YouTube videos out there
and on many different threads,
raise vibration, how to let go,
how to manifest your dream life,
how to be in your own frame, how to heal from narcissism.
Like, people that are like victims of narcissism.
Like, all of these things.
I'm like, what is my core message?
And the thing I've realized is the more I've looked for it,
the more I'm trying to search for it
and trying to figure it out,
the further from my core I become
because I'm trying to find something that's like, out there.
I'm looking at all my, like my everybody,
I'm polling people.
What do you think about,
what do you think my content's all about?
Like, I'm looking on the outside
instead of just being myself
and realizing that like,
maybe it's just my own authenticity.
Maybe I'm limiting myself
by trying to like, do the all of these different things
and like, figure out what this one thing is
instead of allowing myself just to be expressive.
Maybe if I found that one thing I'm like, I help people,
I help people unleash,
not attach magnetic energy and heal from codependency.
That was like, one thing I was toying with
for a minute 'cause I've helped a lot of people do that.
But then maybe I would do that and I'd feel very limited
and maybe instead I could be more free and just be myself.
But the reason I'm sharing this analogy is because
I found that the more I search for something,
the further that thing is
and this happens a lot of times with people attracting love.
They're like oh, I'm gonna, I wanna, I want,
where is the other half to my soul, my soulmate,
twin flame, the Palladian version like, the other half.
Where are they?
And then they go out and they look for it
and they look for it and they look for it.
And so often I see people, they attract love.
You wanna know when they attract the love?
It's when they're not looking.
It's when they're not looking for it.
They're like, where is it?
Where's the other half of my soul?
Where's my twin flame soulmate?
Where is it?
Where are they?
And then they meet somebody, then they're like, this person.
I get comments sometimes like,
this person's my twin flight soulmate,
other half of my soul
and they don't know it.
I tried to explaining it to them
but they thought it was weird
but they just don't know they're after my soul.
And it's like, okay, well that's called neediness.
And probably even codependency 'cause it's like,
that person needs to fit within this.
I need them, I need them, I need.
That energy blocks, that energy is resistant.
So the the thing that I've been learning is the more
I search for anything, the more I distance myself from it.
Have any of you read the book,
"The Alchemist?"
I think about this sometimes.
The book "The Alchemist," is like this person,
I mean, I haven't read it in so long
but like, somebody goes searching
for this treasure and they're, they're searching outside,
they're learning all these things.
They're going on the hero's journey and then they go back
to where they were and they realize the treasure was
on their property like, the whole time.
I'm sorry if I ruined the ending of the book for you.
I'm on page 75
and I haven't finished the book yet, but now you ruined it.
It's a classic book, okay?
You can still read it, it's still an awesome book.
But basically the treasure is within,
it's already inside of you.
And the more you search, the more you lack,
the more it's not even here.
But the funny thing is, it is here.
That's why the things you want, you already have within you.
I just got done doing a breath work certification thing
where I became certified
in somatic release breath work.
And I'm gonna be, you know, doing this
at my retreats and my events and stuff like that.
But one of the, a part of it is like, people,
everyone sets an intention before they go
into this breath work and they set the intention
of what they wanna receive, but sometimes they're like,
people are like, I wanna let go.
It's like, well, okay, what do you wanna receive?
And people are like, they wanna receive love,
they wanna receive peace, they wanna receive gratitude.
They wanna receive so many different like,
themes of what people could wanna receive.
The funny thing is, is what part
of this breath work is like sharing with people,
like oh, that thing you wanna receive,
it's already inside of you.
Like love, it's who you are.
Peace, it's already inside of you.
A lot of times what it,
what breath work allows you to do is to release the blocks
to feeling that emotion, to feeling that thing.
If we want to feel love,
many times there might be attachments that we're holding
onto that block us from feeling love
but the love is already there.
If it's peace, it's like well,
where in our body are we holding all the tension?
Where are we not allowed ourselves to feel more stillness?
These are things that we can begin
to understand already exist inside of us.
It's also just about giving ourselves permission,
permission to feel.
I'm not just talking about breath work,
I'm talking about like anything you wanna create
in your life, love, abundance, whatever.
It's about giving yourself permission to be,
giving yourself permission to recognize
that it's already inside.
There was a moment
like everything in our reality, it's based on permission.
How much permission do we give ourselves?
At a certain point in February, 2017,
I gave myself permission to make daily videos on YouTube.
And I just started to be that version of me.
Then every video I made, I got a little bit better,
I got a little bit better.
I learned a lot about making videos,
I learned a lot about marketing,
how to make thumbnails and all this other stuff.
I ended learning these other skills and then it was like,
people started feeling the energy off of me.
Oh, this guy has something to say.
This guy sounded very confident
while he was talking about, I wanna watch more of his videos
but it's because I gave myself permission.
Now, when it comes to attracting love,
when it comes to seeking anything,
the more permission you can give yourself
to be the real you, the easier
it's gonna be to attract love.
The more to realize as well that whatever you wanna attract
on the outside, realize that is just a reflection
of what's on the inside.
So instead of focusing on outside, focus on inside.
That's it.
Like, when I was focused on attracting love
and I was seeking it, the further away it would be
and the more I would energetically mess things up,
the more that instead I focused on my inside.
So I was like, oh, if you want somebody
and you wanna attract somebody with the regulated
nervous system that's calm, that you feel safe with,
then you must have a calm and regulated nervous system.
If you wanna attract somebody that's vulnerable,
then you gotta be vulnerable.
You wanna attract somebody that's emotionally available,
then obviously same thing.
You gotta be emotionally available.
And I had to become aware that a lot of what I
was attracting my life was a reflection of my own energy.
So I'd be like oh, I'm attracting
emotionally unavailable people, not understanding that I had
normalized that and also at a certain level
been emotionally unavailable.
So I've had to look at myself and it's really about
understanding what energy am I embodying?
Because that energy and also the energy of opening
up your heart, you have to make the choice to open
up your heart.
A lot of times I see people that block love
because they have this long, super long checklist
of everything that this person has to be to come
in their life.
I have extremely high standards.
This person must be this eye color, this hair color,
do this for a living, come from a family like this ,
must do this and I, and all of these things.
And then they meet somebody and they're
on a date and they're just like checking off the list.
So they're like okay, so green eyes, okay cool.
Haha, great.
Okay, so what?
How is your family like?
And they're like oh, you know, my parents or they,
they divorced or something like uh oh.
It's not, they didn't check the list,
they're not meant for me.
Okay, I gotta go.
And then it's like, energetically they butcher it up.
And that also might be a way of avoiding intimacy.
Having a long fuckin' safe checklist that
ensures that nobody's ever gonna meet the standard.
That's why awareness here is so powerful.
Opening up your heart sometimes means being
a little bit more flexible with your checklist.
And instead of focusing
on these little qualities, focus on energies.
I want someone that's heart is open.
I want someone that's vulnerable.
I want someone that lives in integrity.
I want someone I can feel safe with
because I also feel safe with myself.
Really all attracting love is,
it's an inward game of feeling love for yourself
and understanding your own sense of self worth
and releasing the belief that there's anything
wrong with you.
The thing that blocked me from attracting love
for the longest time, and I doubt,
like friends that thought I was being freaking ridiculous,
like, you have a big YouTube channel,
you have this, you have that.
Why was attracting love hard for you?
I don't get it.
I was like, I don't know, I just, I just,
I had these blocks.
One of the biggest block was shame that came from childhood.
The belief I'm broken.
There's something wrong with me.
That belief, the shame from childhood,
the belief that something's wrong with me.
It was like no matter who I would meet, I'd be like well,
they're eventually gonna leave because I'm broken.
I'm flawed.
There's something wrong with me.
Or I'd feel like I couldn't be the real me.
Part of the nice guy,
people pleaser energy that I had to shed came from childhood
because my dad was a people pleaser, nice guy.
And I would tune to other people to see if I could,
you know, if I was good enough instead of just being myself.
And I realized how fake a lot of that shit was.
I was so fake to be like, the people pleaser thing.
It was fake, wasn't real, wasn't authentic.
It's like, oh, how can I avoid tension?
How can I be nice to you?
Because in exchange, you're gonna give me
validation and approval.
Instead, I made the choice to be vulnerable.
If I wanna meet someone that's vulnerable,
I'd have to be vulnerable myself.
I'd have to be the real me.
And that also helps with sexual polarity.
When I broke that whole nice guy people pleaser persona,
I was able to be very honest.
I was like, if I was, you know, like dating someone, like,
oh, I'm attracted to you.
Oh, it was an energy that was very different and that helped
because of my girlfriend, I was able to be very assertive
and that created polarity and that allowed her to feel safe
and my energy and it could, it changed everything because
before that I would like, date someone ,
I wouldn't really tell them
And then we'd just be friends for months and it was
like this fuckin' weird thing.
I'm like, Why would I do that?
Because I wanted to avoid tension of getting rejected
if I would've like, showed my true feelings
and showed the true me.
So this whole attracted love thing, it's an inward journey
in the the, instead of focusing on seeking the outside,
the key for me has been pulling it back into the inside,
pulling it back in inside my own body,
me elevating my own levels of consciousness
and working on myself and then not looking for it.
Because the more you look for it, the more
you emphasize it's not here, it's not here, it's not here,
the more you're just being.
And you also set up a life that you love.
If you're doing what you love
around people and that you love being around
and you're cultivating a cool friendship like friendships
and you're like, going after your purpose
and you're doing all these things,
you start to create gravity in your life
to where then it pulls people in.
But if you don't have that focus
and you're just kind of like a leaf in the wind,
you don't really know what you're doing
and you feel kind of lost, then that energy stays there.
And the way that you get not lost is you start committing
to this journey of like, following your passion,
committing to the real you, getting inside of your own body.
These are all things that completely transform the energy
as you embody it.
Now, when you elevate your consciousness as well,
it changes everything.
You start embodying a higher vibrational you.
Now, if you haven't checked out the website yet,
that's called what'smyvibration.com.
You calibrate your vibration and then you get a meditation
for elevating to the next level.
It's very powerful.
Go to www.what'smyvibration.com
or click the link on top description box.
And then also,
if you want a video that's gonna show you the most effective
and simplest way to manifest love, period,
check out this video right here.
Now first off, attracting love is bullshit.
It is bullshit, bullshit.
Attracting love is not something that we attract.
It is something that is reflected.
It is reflected back to us,
depending on how much inner self love
we feel inside of our body.