I want this for some people it's the
easiest thing in the world to say life's
pretty nice for these kinds of assertive
people they usually end up with the
window seat on airplanes the last slice
of pizza and the cubicle that's not by
the bathroom I hope he flushed but not
everybody is naturally assertive even if
they're loud if you're like a lot of
members on the well-cast team you might
not be as comfortable talking about
yourself saying what you want or what
you think when you're around a lot of
people can be really difficult okay well
today we've got four quick tips on how
to be more assertive in every aspect of
your life at school at work or in a
nerve-wracking situation like having to
tell your parents that you dig the car
sizzle you ready tip one hold on to your
nuts yep this is an acronym borrowed
from the author Wayne Levine it stands
for
non-negotiable unalterable terms
basically your boundaries when you find
yourself stuck in an uncomfortable
position ask yourself what are the most
important things to me in this situation
what do I absolutely refuse to
compromise your nuts should include
something broad like my health or
something specific like my a average in
biology either way once you know what
your priorities are it'll be easier to
fight for them
tip to be simple honest and direct don't
be passive-aggressive or coy it's
annoying if a waiter brings you a kale
salad and you ordered a cheeseburger
don't wait until the end of the meal to
under tip have them send it back if
you're honest and direct
rather than wofully and underhanded
things are more likely to work out in
your favor at the very least you've done
yourself a favor by making your needs
known tip 3 fake it till you make it hey
here's a secret if you act assertive you
will start feeling assertive so how do
you know to do that
well use your body language and your
voice to make your presence known
practice good posture and speak in an
authoritative volume please do not touch
anything on my desk it smells in there
are you flushing I know you didn't wash
your hands
be an eagle not a turtle I know just let
me tease this metaphor out a little bit
it's a little weird do be an eagle don't
be a turtle
don't thrust your shoulders forward a
slump you look like you're apologizing
for yourself do straighten your back
stick your chest out breathe evenly and
deeply don't dart your eyes about it's
gonna look like you've got something to
hide protip if you're nervous about
maintaining eye contact look at
someone's nose or forehead you'll see
more engaged and in control we tried
this it actually works do speak up
seriously I can't even hear you right
now
tip for use I statements instead of you
statements this way you can express what
you want without being accusatory to it
hmm what follows is the wrong way to
tell your roommate to do the dishes you
never do the dishes there's a pile of
them in the sink right now and it's old
enough to be carbon-dated here's the
right way I feel like I've been doing
more than my fair share of the dishes
lately I'm pretty tired when I get home
from work could you help me out
see you expressed your frustration
without sounding like a nag the
assertive dis goldmine all right you've
completed your primer for being
assertive remember figure out your
priorities be straightforward and honest
maintain good posture eye contact and
volume and use I statements go forth
well caster's you're ready to tell that
waiter that you ordered a cheeseburger
ah oh well that's all for me today well
casters would you do me a kindness
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