Welcome dear viewers, to the show; It's only
the start of 2012, but already, coast to coast we
hear reports that humanity has evolved, globally
now that we know the cause of all our woes - Joseph Kony.
The world's now on a better path, and the panacea
seems to have come from this hero white man here:
whose internet video played a vital role in
highlighting the plight of Uganda's child soldiers
It went viral and spread with unprecedented speed
shared over twitter feeds and endorsed by celebrities.
to tell us more, we're happy to have him on:
It's General Baxter representing Africom
General Baxter, good to see you
- Right back atcha
- Tell us, what does all this signify for Africa
- Well, Robert, I can tell you for a start
KONY2012 really made me appreciate Art
when my son showed me this clip, my heart was stirred
I was spurred to action to right the wrong that occurred
- Tell us your feelings General, be honest
- Since we killed Osama there's been a hole in my stomach
- I'm sorry to hear that... - I miss him!
- Why? - Because we desperately need a new "dark-skinned Disney villain" [thanks, Sage!]
So we can justify defense budgets of trillions
in a never ending quest to kill him
And this time it's African soil where we need to get embroiled
and quick, before China gets all the oil
- So this Kony is a perfect gift then!
- He looks like a bad guy AND he hurts children!
- KONY2012 was an experiment, was it a success?
- Yes! kids are begging the US to bomb Africa next
Check this out -- let me introduce you to Gavin, my son
Gavin, what does Daddy do? - Kill poor people, with guns
- Now, look at what happens
when I show Gavin a picture of an African
Who's this? - That's a bad guy
- That's right! And what do we do to bad guys?
- We use drones and armed forces
to kill them and take their resources
- See Robert! even a four year old has got it!
This makes me so proud...sorry!
- The video's done more than you ever envisaged
and in twenty seven minutes, without cats or titties!
- We used to have to wait for terrorist attacks
to justify interventions and mineral grabs
now, thanks to viral videos we can "send advisors"
to lynch... I mean arrest ... black...I mean Bad Guys
- And what will you do once they've been caught?
- Hand'em over to the International Criminal Court
- You mean the same court which the US refuses
to submit to for its own war crimes and abuses?
is that hypocrisy? - Robert, honestly!
the ICC only prosecutes dark people's atrocities
- Ok, I hear there's been criticism of the video's accuracy
fallacies, and neo-colonial fantasies
- Don't have such a 'Heart of Darkness', Robert
join the 'Missionary Industrial Complex'!
save poor Africa from burning
accept 'the white man's burden'
Plus, 90 million Americans now know
that 'Africa' exists, that's good, no?
- I suppose so.
Alright, General Baxter, thanks for appearing tonight
to explain the facts in black and; well, mostly white.
Some might disagree with this call to 'make Kony famous',
but what we've witnessed this week is nevertheless momentous:
a demonstration of this internet's potential abilities
to instantly inform and engage tens of millions;
and a willingness of those millions of people
to engage passionately with something more meaningful
combined, these are promising signs
of the potential energy that lies dormant and primed
ready to rise, when the moment arrives
what that moment will be, we shall see in time