Hey everybody
So, last weekend, I was in Toronto for the
2016 Wacken Battle of the Bands Canadian Final
Somebody lost their freaking mind and thought
It would be a great idea to make me a judge
We got to choose the band that would go onto Germany
And compete on the international level
Now, considering Canada has won the Wacken Battle for two years running
I took the role very seriously
There was no way I would let anything less than a
stellar band represent Canada in Germany
Now, the cool thing was I got to hang out
and discuss the performances with the other judges
There were journalists, promoters, record labeling execs
You know, people with the actual qualifications to be judging a band's performance
And, well, I found our opinions matched on quite a number of points about what makes a good live performance
But I also listened to what they were looking for in a band and learned a few things along the way
And I thought I'd share that with you guys looking to give
YOUR band the boost it needs to get ahead with your live show
This is: HOW TO RULE THE STAGE
(The Eagle Has Landed INTRO)
This is a companion piece to my other series
"How to Get Your Band Ready for the Stage"
Where as that series was more about the logistics of playing live
this is more about performance
Now here's the one thing I have never really understood
about these, uh, "Battle of the Band" events
Everyone knows what they're looking for in a performance
The judging sheets even have various categories
On what to mark out for each band
But nobody ever actually bothers to tell the bands what they want
'Cause it's not just about "Technical Profeciency" or
"How your tone is" or "your songwriting"
Its about how you combine those aspects
To create a larger than life performance
You HAVE to be more than the sum of your parts
The best bands in history have understood that
Look,
You guys want to be "Voltron"
Not the fucking "Gobots"!
Let me break it down to you in 5 simple parts
Drummers, that's
1
2
3
4
Plus one more
Got it?
Okay, here we go.
I've seen this happen with bands before
And I saw it happen at this battle
The band can play well
They were tight
The guitar tones were heavy as fuck
And they sounded good
but they were boring as shit to watch
Why? Cause they don't fucking do anything
You're not the animatronics band at Chuck E. Cheese you're a heavy metal band
Fucking move around
Stop staring at the floor
Stop staring longingly into eachother's eyes wishing you could hold eachothers
*BLEEP*
And remember:
that there's a roomful of people out there that paid money to see you
Try: looking at them once in a while
If you're the singer don't do this the entire show
It's a big fucking stage
Use it!
And before anybody starts with the
"Oh but what about you guys"
Shut the fuck up!
When you finish your song don't let your audience hang for thirty seconds while you take a drink of water
Fucking talk to them!
Let them know that you're excited to be there and perform for them
Dont be: "Oh everyone thanks for coming out for the show tonight"
Look, I'm sorry we pulled you out of your mom's basement and your hentai collection
long enough so you can do what you say you love to do
Sorry it's such a burden playing live
And if you are thinking about handing the mic to the drummer between songs:
Don't!
What you need to do is work on your stage routine
Beause if your drummer has more charisma than you: maybe you should take up bass and let someone with some balls front your band
Don't be a pussy! Don't hide behind your mic
Play a character, if you must, it worked for Alice Cooper
Be larger than life
Get on stage, play your ass off, and don't waste time between the songs
And make sure that they flow
That means writing out your set list ahead of time and making sure everyone in the band has a copy of it
Yes, this is a lesson hard learned
If you're playing one song directly into another make sure that all the band members know about it
Trust me, it's a big help
And when you're finished with your set, get your gear off your set as effeciently as possible
That means do not go to the bar for a drink
And if you're in an opening band do not play an encore
Nothing says "We're a bunch of assholes" like playing an encore when you're opening
It's almost as bad as introducing the band members of an opening act
Believe me, nobody gives a fuck
If you're playing heavy as fuck 100% of the time
Guess what?
It's.Not.Heavy.
Music is dyanmic
If you pull things back from time to time and let the band rest while the guitar player or the bassist plays a four bar break
Things have much more impact when the whole band roars back to live
You can't go balls deep all the time
The breaks are what make the heavy bits heavier
Write songs with that in mind and your band will stand out onstage
If you're playing full on all the time you've got no where to go
And things get real stale, real fast
It's basically a live version of the loudness war
And believe me, nobody wants to see St. Anger the musical
If you're walking out on stage it doesn't matter how big the show is
It doesn't matter how small it is
It can be your sister's freaking birthday party
If you're not giving it everything you've got, you've got no business being on stage
PLAY.
WITH.
EMOTION.
Pour your heart into it, cause that's what we wanna hear
Because it comes across
If you're just going through the motions the audience will know
It's easy to tell when an actor is phoning in a performance and the same applies for a band
We want the inspired performance
We want the band that can play well together, be profecient at their instruments, engage the audience, and make them say: Wow!
But most of all we want the performance that's going to inspire people in the audience to go home
pick up their own instruments
and practice.
(The Eagle Has Landed OUTRO)
Subscribe to Glenn, he's an awesome dude!
FUCK I FUCKED THAT UP I need to change that