how are you ted i'm good conan i'm good
uh quickly before we get started i
decided uh to wear this
jaunty scarf today be honest
is this working for me or not you can
just you know feel free to
it is and you can get away with it
because
you know i wear it at my age people
think oh he's trying to cover his
wrinkly neck
you it's just jaunty me it's unfortunate
i have a high def screen your neck's
looking fine uh i wouldn't worry about
that i've met some celebrities who
definitely need to wear a scarf we won't
go into names
but um i want to mention something to
you which is
i'm on my way to work today here at the
largo theater
and to talk to you and i'm going through
my head and i'm thinking
every time i've had an interaction with
you you've been
unfailingly nice and you have that
reputation
i think you and tom hanks both have it
of such sweet guys such nice guys
and i'm convinced that deep down there's
some evil there there's some
there's some satanic evil inside you i
know there has to be
well i can't speak for tom that could
well be
it is true for tom it is true it's true
yeah for me
it's more of a case of uh uh
superficiality
[Laughter]
so you uh basically what you're saying
is that there's a thin patina of
niceness around you with very thin
coating
yeah you know i'm i'm the word for me is
charming
yeah now my wife my wife is nice yes
nice means and kind means that you tell
the truth
you uplift people in a deep
life-changing kind of way
yeah i will just make you smile in the
moment
and then you move on before they can
scratch any deeper or before they
realize i don't remember their name
ted you don't even know who who i am
right now but you're doing a great job
of pretending
mary can always tell when i have no idea
who i'm talking to
because of the the big hug i give them
if you hug them
clearly i must know your name right
right right you don't know them