*Joey playing toy trumpet*
Ah! Good day everyone,
and welcome to today's video here with:
my ninety-nine cent store bag.
Supriza!!!
Surpriza?
*Bag Falls* Uh oh! Oh!
Uh oh! Oops! Uh oh!
Surprise!
I'm ninety-nine cents only.
That's right.
*Tongue pop* So, we are going to be doing something that is very relevant right now,
which is the ninety-nine cent store haul.
Very near, and dear to my heart personally. Mm.
I loved going to the ninety-nine cent store growing up,
as a kid just because, there was a LOT of like, really cool things there,
it was cheap, it was fun...
I feel like once I found out about Target I was just like "Oh my gosh..."
Noo.....
Upgrade!
So anyways, uh, Daniel went and got this stuff, so it's all a surprise to me. Mm hm.
So you're gong to be surprising me with some ninety-nine cent stuff.
I'M gonna be surprised. Mm.
Okay, werkk.
Uh, so, you went and got a bunch of things, so,
sh-share, share with them what you got in your haulita
Okay, well, I did my ninety-nine cent store haul...
Um, I got...
These little drinks.
*Huge gasp* Mondos!
Okay, flashback to the 90s, children.
This was EVERYTHING.
No, I drank the...
What's the other brand, the Koolaid ones?
... Jammers.
Koolaid Jammers!
They were long, and blue, and had the cool top that you would suck on.
Yes...
I'd suck on it for days.
Those Koolaid Jammers were done in .2 seconds
Like, you would squeeze, done.
Joey: 3 steps Daniel:Yeah, they were really thin.
But these are such a good deal!
Ninety-nine cents!
Well, obviously. OK, let's drink it.
EVERYTHING was ninety-nine cents.
We need to try it. It's been honestly five and a half billion years since I've had one.
I've never had one.
*Gasp* You haven't?!
Oh, this top is so...
You have to squeeze a little in there so you can suckle it out later.
As a little treat.
*Gasp* Ohh, the memories!!
I can't taste anything.
So, taste it.
Mmm, it's good!
It tastes like high fructose corn syrup.
It does! It tastes like childhood!
It tastes like, um... remember Pop Ice?
The little freezer things, you'd throw them in the freezer?
Yeah.
These are the cherry ones. Then like, it would melt and then it would just be juice.
Okay, show me what else you got me, boy.
I wanted something savory.
Oh, did he now?
Actual Teddy Bears.
Not Teddy Grahams, Teddy Bears.
What??
These look like the deformed ones that happen at like Teddy Grahams
That they're like "Oh wait, we..."
It's like, two of them. A conjoined twin.
But they're like, all demented I feel like these are the leftover--
Don't make fun of inbred!
These are the leftovers at the factory.
Yeah, they sweep them up into a pile and--
(Old man voice) We'll make a brand for it called "Teddy BEARS"
Oh my god, why are they together?
Now you're just covering me up.
Gorgeous!
OK, werk. Let's try 'em.
Not bad!
Is good.
They taste basic.
Yeah.
I had them many-many times.
Um, and I know you like gummy worms so I got Sqwiggles.
... Sqwigglers.
Sqwigglers??
Sqwigglies.
You know how much I love a Sqwiggler.
... Darkening it up as we speak.
There we go.
Oooohhhhh yeeeessss...
Give me one of them boys.
Oh, these are like a gummy worm.
It's not hard enough.
I like them chewy.
I like them like a stick!
OK, wait.
What are these?
This is for our new band.
We're creating a band?
*Out-of-tune strumming*
*Singing along* Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ditch...
*More strumming*
This kind of sounds like some sort of Asian instrument though.
Like the mandolin or something.
*Still strumming*
Hey, I think these actually work.
*Gasp* Oh my god, you can twist it!
Oh...
Uh oh!
Uh oh, mine broke.
Well, you know what? You can still use this as, like, a hairpiece or something.
Oh my god, wait! Drag queen night!
Oh my god, yeeeesss.
Gorgeousa!
Rock and roll.
Honestly, I would have liked this as a kid.
Same.
Pick something. Okay.
*Gasp* Wait!
A CLEAR can of soda?! Apple soda?
I was upset when I saw this, I was like "Why isn't all soda like this?"
I know, I would live!
[Reading label] Flavored aerated water.
Fifty six calories per can, that's actually kind of a lot for water.
Ow!
This is good!
It's actually, like, yummy!
It tastes like a Jolly Rancher.
It does.
Yeah, it tastes very artificial.
I would LOVE this as a kid.
I would, too.
I would be like "I'm healthy, Mom, I'm eating an apple!"
Yeah, eating an apple!
Wonderful!
I love a good Poptart but we are eating Toast'em
pop-ups.
OK, werk.
Ohh, they're cute!
They're pretty. They're like a nice little pastelina.
Let me take the light away again so you can see...
Oh, that looks goooood!
Breakaway...
*Slurping*
OK, let's try it.
It tastes just like the regular Poptart, actually.
It tastes like a regular Poptart.
That's crazy.
That's good as HELL.
Next time, let's go to the ninety-nine cent store for these.
Get Toast'ems.
Alright, your turn.
OK.
*Gasp*
Slingshots for...with water balloons?!
Wait, we'll have to save this for a video that we can do outside
and, like, shoot 'em at each other.
Yeah.
Water balloon fight...
That's everything!
Ooh, I'm hot! Give this video a thumbs up if you'd like Daniel and I do a little water balloon fight.
Topless, or nah?
Heeey.
OK, so I accidentally already dug into these.
*Gasp* When did you do that?!
They're called Zangy Tangys.
Pig. Gimme one.
*Discontented noises*
Holy crap!
It's good.
Oh...
It's good.
That's sour!
Wow.
It's everything.
The outside is good, the inside is not good.
The inside is everything, it's all good.
Okay.
Next!
'Kay.
Choke a rooms... Chocorooms.
A chocoroom?
A mushroom made out of chocolate!
Wait, show them.
I did!!
It's chocolate.
They're mushrooms...
But they're chocolate... That's so bizarre.
But they're chocolate...
*Gasp* OH MY GOD they're so cute!
*Gasp* Ohh stop it.
They're little penises.
Oh my god it's like a little micropeen.
Ohh, it's gorgeousta.
They're so cute...
Size DOES matter.
Whoa.
You're sick, these are good.
I'm sucking on the chocolate, calm down.
Sweet and crispy. Those are GOOD!
And kinda remind me of pocki (pocky).
So I have an announcement to make...
I'm starting up the trumpet.
*Trumpet*
Oh!
Sorry, warming up.
Wait, how the hell do you work this thing?
*Trumpet*
NOOOO
*More trumpet*
Alright, you are NOT musical at all.
It's not me, it's the trumpet.
No honey, it's you.
*Gasp*
Oh my God!
Uh oh!
Snatched!
*Even more trumpet*
That sounds better.
Literally it's the same noise.
*Trumpet*
Ok. I've had enough!
ENOUGH
Did someone say marshmallow bunnies?!
Buntie
This is Peep's sick, twisted cousin.
Honestly, I hate these so much.
Funny story, I don't know if I've told this before but um...
My Mum used to get me these when she would go to the flower shop
And I'd be sitting in the car she'd bring them out and I hated 'em so much
And she had um... a stick shift car and there was a part with her like emergency brake
that had like those bristly things (oh, yes!)
So when you pull up it like kinda
Did you stick them in there?
I used to stick them in there.
*Gasp*
That's funny
I did something similar...
Oh, it's funny but you didn't laugh!
It's funny but it's dumb!
Oh!
It's funny but dumb.
Oh, I see...
OK.
My Mum used to make me reuben sandwiches
with pumpernickel bread...
OH SHE DID!
Ok, made me pumpernickel sandwiches which is that black bread
Which is gross...
OH BLACK BREAD!
Stop! I hate when you do that!
*Laugh*
Got ya all rallied up didn't I?!
NUTS!
Anyways, and I used to..
*Laugh*
Sugar lips
How's it taste?
That's good.
Actally, that's NOT good
Oh, God!
It tastes like a burp!
A burp?
They are cute, here I'll show you.
Decapitated!
There he is!
Hey! So I lost my body, I'm pretty much dead now.
OK,
Next!
Um, ok, so up next is...
Freshen-up gum!
Umm! *Tounge pop*
Gorgeousa!
I've actually had this before it's really cool 'cause it like gushes out
I had this in Canada!
But it was spearmint
Oh, you lived in Canada?!
Yeaaa.. Noo
I was in Toronto
Oh, he went to Toronto!
*Sighs*
Oh,
Ok, also.. to finish my story from 15 minutes ago..
Oh, he wants to finish his story!
Stop!
I used to take the pumpernickel bread and shove it into the radiator
in my kitchen and...
Should have shoved it up your ass!
I'm done with you.
*Laughs*
Like this video if you want me to slap him around after
Oh my God!
If we can get to 50 thousand likes, I'll record it.
*Laughs*
This tastes old.
It tastes very old.
It tastes like it was at my grandparents' house and I was just like 'Oh'...
This is something a grandmother would like to
Oh, it's good under my dentures it doesn't get under my bridgework
*Laughs*
Alright, and last but not least
Is a pregnancy test
Um... Which...
We've been needing to take this for a while
Uhm...
We've been expecting guys...
Uh oh!
Big announcement!
Big announcement... I'm maybe pegnant.
HOLD UP!
This big box for this little thing?! There's nothing else in there!
OMG!
This is bad packaging!
It's like a... like a Gatorade sample you put this in...
No, it's like a little fruit Roll-Up.
So this is what it looks like everyone
It comes with a little... I've always wanted to buy one of these at the Dollar Store
This is not what the real one looks like...
How do you know?!
Because I've seen them in commercials.
It has like a 'no' or a 'yes', like YES you're pregnant now go get it take care of or NO you're not pregnant, thank God!
I'm gonna take a little bit of Mondo
Take the Kool-Aid and I'll go pee.
Ok, you go pee.
They're gonna be like 'umm... Mam, you have something wrong with your pee...
it's red.'
Ok, so now I put it on this thing... ok..
Sample on there...
They're gonna be like 'you REALLY need to get tested'.
Do you see it?
This is real confusing... I don't think I understand
I'm baaaack!
Oh!
There's real pee in here y'all.
Oh!
So, you're a negative.
Yea, you're a negative. You got negative! You're not pregnant!
OMG! Thank God!
Wait, are you pregnant girl?!
Yes.
You ARE pregnant!
I'm pregnant!
*Gasps*
Congratulations!
OMG!
We're gonna be daddys!
No, she's gonna be a daddy.
Oh, yea, but it's yours so you're gonna be a...
Oh, I'm gonna be a grandfather.
You already are with that voice
Shut up Pigsworth!
Pigsworth?!
So anyways, I hope you guy enjoyed this 99 Cent Store *Mumbles*
And also, give a thumbs up if you want me to slap his ass around.
Ah!
Go away!
No!
Alright.
Oh, that's sweet.
Alright, I love you guys, I will see you all tomorrow,
Good Damn Bye!
*Outro*