Well, of course today is International Women's Day
and I thought it might be nice to honor women
in the truly American tradition.
That's right, by trying to sell them something.
We are a capitalist country,
that's as far as I know,
that's what this nation does, yeah.
Well, our newest sponsor
is a product designed specifically for women.
So let's take a look.
[Narrator] Women all across the country
are discovering Lunesse.
Busy moms use Lunesse,
famous actresses use Lunesse.
If you see a woman
and think, what's her secret,
it's probably Lumesse.
Wow, that sounds great,
but what is it?
[Narrator] 96% of Lunesse users
reported an improvement in just six weeks.
An improvement in what?
[Narrator] Lunesse is discreet
and small enough to fit in your purse.
Like makeup, or like birth control,
what is it?
[Narrator] We'll tell you what it's not,
no preservatives, no GMOs and no animal products,
unless you count eels.
Okay, what does it do?
[Narrator] Lunesse is effective at preventing
that female problem, you know, the one.
You know, I honestly don't.
[Narrator] Lunesse keeps you dry, yet moist,
Lunesse is strong enough for a man,
but also a giant leap for mankind.
That doesn't even make sense.
[Narrator] Lunesse is FDA waitlisted
and has a four star rating from JD Power and Associates.
Lunesse more vitamin E than a raw onion.
Lunesse a 2.9% APR,
Don't take Lunesse if you have a history of illness,
don't ask your doctor before taking Lunesse,
in clinical trials some women were turned into wax figures.
Okay, what the (beep) does it do?
[Narrator] Side effects include itching, dryness
and minding your own damn business.
Okay, you know what?
I'm out, I don't care.
[Narrator] Did we mention Lunesse has pockets?
It has pockets?
[Narrator] Results may vary.
Not sure I know what that is.
Oh, I know what it is,
I'm wearing one now.
Yeah, okay.
I'm very confused.