I do have an injury that’s
kind of a problem for working out now.
So I was having pain
in my third and fourth toe.
If you don’t know —
one had roast beef and the other had none.
So I’ve had this pain and
I went to go see a podiatrist
and so he looks at my pods and he said that
He said: “You have a neuroma.”
And I said: “You have a neuroma.”
I said that to him.
I said: “What do I do about that?”
He said: “Nothing."
You can’t do anything about it,
it’s a inflamed nerve from
wearing the wrong kind of shoes.”
He said: “Do you wear like soft-soled shoes —
like tennis shoes?
I said: “Yes, that’s what I wear.”
He goes: “That’s the wrong kind of shoe for you."
"The best shoe for you to wear…"
"is a cowboy boot. "
"Goodbye.”
So I had to go buy new shoes with harder soles and
when I was trying on shoes, I realized —
when we try on shoes
we do things we’re never gonna do in them.
We stand up.
“These are good."
"These are good."
"If I have to do that, that’s good."
"These are good, I like these."
"That’s good."
"If I have to do that, that’ll be good."
"These are good if I have to do this."
"Yep, I like these, I’m gonna get these."
"Yep.”
When we try on shoes
there’s a little tiny mirror on the ground.
For the shoes to see themselves. 'Cause you can’t.
“What do you guys think, do you like them?"
"I can’t see."
"Do you want them?”
Shoe salesmen are like no other salesmen
for any other thing you buy.
You say: “I’d like to try those on a size six.”
They come out with boxes.
“We didn’t have a six but we had a nine and a half.”
We try on everything that
we’re gonna put on our body
except for socks, I realize.
We don’t try socks on because we trust–
Because the size is so
It’s like size three through eleven.
It really… It’s like…
It’s gonna fit.
It’s like your childhood, through your adulthood —
you wear those things.
But they're like, they're so —
the thing is if you have a sock that you like —
everybody has their favorite socks
and you will wear those socks
as long as you possibly can.
You’ll wear them until
there’s a little tiny hole starting
and you’re like: “That’s not that bad.”
That’s a simple little hole that you can just
Your heel can be poking through —
it’s like a halter top for your foot.
It’s like…
Little holes everywhere. But you think:
“Who’s gonna to see it? "
"I’m just gonna keep shoes on"
"they’re not gonna see that.”
Then you go to somebody’s house
and they have a shoes-off policy.
I gotta get the fuck out of here.