My boy, Yankee, hits me up.
And he was like "Swooz, me, you, nine of my boys, Mexico."
He's getting married. He's having his bachelor party. Day of the flight
I show up at the airport. These dudes are all drunk.
It's 6 A.M.
They drink ALL day long. In the limo, on the plane.
We get to Mexico. They don't stop.
Night time comes. We go to the club.
We in here. We got a table. My boys keep ordering bottles.
We got models. W-We don't really have models, there were these like three girls
that were like 10 feet away from our table.
All of a sudden, corner of my eye, I see Mike. He don't look good at all.
He's swaying, and then BOOM. Hits the ground, face first.
But on his way down, he hits this table and spills a drink.
The ten dudes get up. They all start cursing. Th-they look like they're
about to do something to Mike. So I tap Armand.
"Ay yo, it's morphin' time up in this piece."
And then I jump up on the couch next to these dudes.
My whole squad sees this. We don't exchange words. We're on that Wi-Fi.
So it's 10 of them, surrounded Mike.
And then there's 10 of us surrounding them,
and I'm standing up here on the couch like "Yo
act right or go night-night! I wish you would, son.
We're 'bout to shut the whole club down."
(air horn noises)
So, the dude closest to Mike sees what's 'bout to transpire.
So, he's like "Yo, yo, yo, everybody relax. It's cool." And he helps Mike up.
I'm not quick to rush into altercations, but they were- the DJ was playing Beyonce,
"Way your hands side to side to side to side - put it in the air."
Normally, I would have been like (whining) "Guys, no, stop."
But the-the 7/11, y'all, I just-
I don't know what- that-that beat does something to me.
So we squash it, and, just out of good faith, we buy them a whole new BOTTLE.
We're at our table, they're at their table. We go back to partying but i'm
still watching them out of the corner of my eye.
Cause I'll still shut this club down.
(air horn noises)
So, we dancing and partying till about three o'clock in the morning then we
leave. We're outside the club
I look over at Yankee. Yankee's like mad doggin' the dudes that Mike bumped into
Here I am
look over here over here. Don't be mean muggin' nobody look *clapping sound* here I go
everybody we're moving we're moving I'm not trying to have nothing pop off. My
boys get into a fight, end up in Mexican jail
so I'm like, food food ándale let's go. We all start walking down the street. As
we're walking,
there's this ambulance creeping forward down the middle of the street just
really slowly just like foot off the brake creeping forward behind us. We walk up
about a block. Every time we move forward a little bit,
the ambulance moves forward a little bit. And then John stops and turns around and he goes
"Yo! What's up? Here come all the dudes from the VIP next to us and I'm like
"No, no, no, not today." One of their dudes starts walking up
"Ah, ah, aaa, listen, listen Linda, I care a lot about people. I don't know you guys, but I care about you too.
This is my squad, I love them to death. There's a lot of hate in the world,
let's not add to it." So they're like, okay cool, we're squashing it.
So me and all the ten dudes in my posse we all split like the Red Sea
and let these dudes walk past us.
So one by one, you know they're all kind of given us these looks as they walk
through. It was so tense, you could cut the tension with a ka-nife.
All nine of the dudes make it through just fine, and the last guy in the line,
he's walking through, then he looks at me, and then he looks over to my boy Mike and
POW pushes Mike like a power thrust. Mike goes flying back like a freakin' action movie.
BAM
AHHHHH
let's get ready to ruuuuuumble
PYONG! Bald guy takes off. Before Mike even gets up off the ground. I looked up the street
Yankee ran up, jumped, put this guy in the headlock, and just start hitting him boom,
boom, boom over and over. The other nine guys jump on Yankee and then all of our boys
boom it's on. So they're pairing off one on one. So now I'm in full mother goose mode
like I'm on the sidelines going, "Stop it guys, stop itttt!" All the other guys that walked ahead,
they have no idea that they're boy just started this whole fight.
They're thinking that we just jumped them for no reason. I'm standing there
watching this like, "It's probably best if I don't jump into this."
I probably play more fighting games than all these dudes here combined. Mess around,
I jump in here, throw a fireball for real, not the whiskey, a real fireball.
We about to shut all of Mexico down. (air horn noises)
I figure out I might jump in if my boys start losing, so I just stand back in the cut
like M. Bison, like I'm the boss character - you gotta fight your way to me.
They finally all get up and they just start running. They find this little motel.
They run in and close the door and they hold it shut. One of our guys, John, he's
still hyped up listening to Beyoncé from the club. BRAHH. Punches through the
glass door. I'm sure from their POV they're looking out at John and his eyes are all
glowing looking like a legit Terminator. The top half of the glass door drops
down and cuts his arm open.
Guess who shows up? Yep, the po-po. Yankee's like, yo Swooz, keep walking, let's go. Bro,
we can't leave our boys.
Yeah but we can't break them out of jail if we're all in jail,
bounce! Cops round up all of our boys except for me and Yankee, we walk away.
After about five minutes we realize they're probably not going to jail.
So we walk back up on 'em. Here you guys go. Here is actual footage of this happening.
The ambulance that was following us saw everything so they told the cops, yo these
these guys didn't start the fight, the guys that ran ahead
they started everything, so we're good. John's arm is sliced open so they take John
to the back of the ambulance. I ask one of the paramedic guys I'm like, "Why were y'all following us?"
*Spanish accent* "Hermano, we see these things every night." "Every night?" *Spanish accent* "Every night."
"Escume? Every night?: *Spanish accent* "Claro que si." You know that that was just day one of the
bachelor party
*Screaming*
*Outro music*