LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU KNOW, THANK YOU.
I APPRECIATE YOUR APPLAUSE, BUT I DON'T DO THIS SHOW ALONE.
THERE'S JON AND THE BAND, AN
OTHERS, I'M TOLD.
AND, TONIGHT, WE'RE GOING INTRODUCE YOU TO SOME OF THOSE
PEOPLE IN THE FIRST EPISODE OF OUR NEW SEGMENT, "LATE SHOW
BACKSTAGE PASS."
>> THE MONOLOGUE IS ONE OF PEOPLE'S FAVORITE THINGS AT "THE
LATE SHOW."
>> Stephen: DOES YANKEE CANDLE HAVE FLAMETHROWERS?
EAT LEMON LAVENDER (BLEEP)!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IS THIS ON?
>> EVERYONE LOVES STEPHEN'S OBJECT WORK.
HE'S ALWAYS PLAYING AROUND WITH THINGS YOU CAN'T SEE.
BUT ONE THING YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW IS THERE'S A WHOLE TEAM OF
PEOPLE WORKING HARD TO MAKE SURE HE HAS WHAT HE NEEDS.
I'M SARAH, AND I RUN THE INVISIBLE PROPS DEPARTMENT HERE
AT "THE LATE SHOW."
>> Stephen: "I LOVE YOU HAMBURGER."
WHAT'S THAT?
WHAT?
HE'S JUST LICKING OUT THE SPECIAL SAUCE!"
HEY!
GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE DRIVE-THRU.
AND...
WHAT IF WE SENT DENNIS RODMAN TO NORTH KOREA?
(COUGHS)
( APPLAUSE ) OF COURSE... DON'T TOUCH THAT,
NOW.
, OF COURSE,-- >> DON'T WORRY.
YOU CAN SEE THERE'S NO DRUGS IN HERE.
(PIANO RIFF) SO THIS IS WHERE WE DO OUR WORK.
THIS IS THE INVISIBLE PROP ROOM.
WE'VE GOT PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING YOU CAN IMAGINE.
PROBABLY RECOGNIZE A LOT OF THESE FROM THE SHOW.
OF COURSE, CBS CAN'T SHOW THIS ON AIR.
WHOA, THE BATTERIES STILL WORK.
OKAY.
SORRY.
( LAUGHTER ) WHEN PEOPLE HEAR WHAT WE DO,
THEY OFTEN THINK IT'S EASY-- BUT IT CAN ACTUALLY BE VERY
DANGEROUS.
>> Stephen: THE LAST THING YOU WANT TO HEAR YOUR DOCTOR SAY IS
"DON'T WORRY, I'M MENTALLY STABLE AND, LIKE, REALLY SMART.
LET'S START STABBING!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> OW!
(BLEEP).
I'M FINE.
>> Stephen: HE CONTINUED-- >> ARE YOU OKAY, SARAH?
I'LL BE FINE, JUST GET THE FIRST AID KIT.
THAT'S EMPTY >> OH, THIS IS THE PROP ONE.
SORRY, I'LL GET THE REAL ONE.
>> POINT IS, WE'RE READY FOR ANYTHING AROUND HERE.
>> Stephen: HI-YO, SASSY!
OFF TO THE MALL!
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: ANYWAY, SHE'S A
GOOD GIRL, BUT SHE DOES SPOOK EASY.
>> HEY, SARAH.
WHERE DO YOU WANT THIS BOX OF RATTLESNAKES AND RANDOM
EXPLOSIVES!
(SMALL EXPLOSION) (HORSE NEIGHS)
>> WOAH!
WOAH!
>> KEEP HER AWAY FROM THE CRYSTAL BUST OF MICHAEL
WEATHERLY!
>> NO, NO, NO!
WHOA, GIRL!
NO, STAY, GIRL, STAY.
WATCH OUT FOR THE SLIP-AND-SLIDE!
>> OH NO, HER LEG.
( LAUGHTER ) >> I'M SORRY, GIRL.
ANYWAY, THINGS CAN GET PRETTY CRAZY AROUND HERE, BUT WE HAVE A
LOT OF FUN.
OH, YOU CAN TURN THE CAMERA OFF.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: THANK YOU!
THANK YOU!
GOOD PEOPLE.
THEY WORK SO HARD.
THEY WORK SO HARDS.
>> Jon: BEAUTIFUL WORK.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU.
THANK YOU, INVISIBLE PROPS DEPARTMENT, FOR ALL YOUR HARD
WORK.
I JUST WANT TO REASSURE EVERYONE THAT NO INVISIBLE ANIMALS WERE
HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THAT SEGMENT.
ISN'T THAT RIGHT, SASSY?
OH!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.