Hey guys welcome back to my channel. I'm so glad that you're here
My name is Stephanie
and I am a life coach now if you're new to my channel don't forget to hit the subscribe button below and
Don't forget to leave any comments or questions in the comment section below so let's get right into this week's video
so this week, we're talking about how to
Spot and deal with a jealous or an insecure person
And this is really important because if you don't know how to spot you know sometimes
It's very obvious that someone is jealous and insecure, but other times
It's not really that obvious that it's hard to spot and if you yourself have insecurities
Or wounds within your own self you're going to take on an insecure person's
Projections, or jealous person's projections and insecurities that they have within themselves
you'll take all of that stuff on so I want to go over how to spot this type of a person and how to
Deal with them if you have to engage them in your day to day life so right off the bat
I want to get into there are two types of insecure people and they both are under the same umbrella
They both have you know very low self love self confidence in themselves self Esteem
And that's why they're insecure, but there are two types of insecurities. There's one person
Who's insecure who takes the abuse from people takes on People's projections?
So if they're in a room with a bunch of people and everyone's kind of talking about what is going on in their lives
This person will sit and compare their life to everyone in the room
So if their friend you know susan just got a new job, and they don't have a new job yet
They're going to kind of wallow in that self-pity and you know destructive self
Talk Nonsense because they're insecure themselves. They don't have a healthy sense of self
Insecure person number two is the person that likes to hurt other people or that lashes out and again. They're both
Insecure but they operate in different ways and this is really important to know because a lot of times in relation chips
you'll have two people that are both insecure and
one person is
the
person that hurts people and lashes out the abuser and the other one is the person that takes on the abuse and is insecure and
Codependent themselves, so in this video. I'm really going to focus on insecure person number two because this is the person that
Is abusive you know this is the sociopath a narcissistic person who both of them in themselves are severely?
Insecure and that's why they do the things that they do
But also anyone can really have this level of insecurity, and it's good to know
Who in your life has this insecurity within themselves because they can be kind of a toxic person?
And it's good to know who are
People in your life that are toxic are unhealthy and have these
Wounds or issues within themselves that they're not dealing with and instead of dealing with them. They're lashing out on other people
so for this video
I'm really going to focus on this person being able to spot this person and
Learning how to deal with this person if you have to have them in your life
so one of the things with an insecure person
That feels the need to hurt other people and again a lot of this stuff is done on an unconscious level. They're not really aware
That they're doing it
They just have these habits of doing certain things that are hurtful and abusive that harm other people and they essentially
Feel better or feel good about themselves after doing it which is a little sick and twisted
That's the way a jealous or an insecure person
Live their life so for an insecure person
They do
The thing that I just I'm sure we've all
Come in contact with this type of a person that just likes to one-up you so if you're having a conversation with this person
They you know when you're saying they're asking you you know, how are you?
What's going on your life, and you're telling them. They always are doing so much better than you
so
You know if your son just graduated third grade
And you got all b's and you're just so proud of him well their son just graduated fifth grade
And he got straight a's and he just made the soccer team like there's always this competition between who's doing better in
life, it's just
It's just the way they are they're almost like
conversational narcissists sometimes and again if that
Insecurity is that wound within themselves that they can't just sit and be happy for someone else
They constantly have to one-up you to make themselves feel better about their own lives these people are also the types of people that
Love to gossip. They just love to talk about everyone else. They're so nosy about what everyone else is doing
They are the ones that are always asking like probing and inappropriate questions because they just want to find out as much information
As they can on everyone so they want to know all the good stuff that's going on in your life
Because they're going to one-up you and they're doing even better or they want to know all the bad stuff in your life because it
Makes them feel better that they're not going through something that you've gone through or you are going through you know these are people that
Want to know everything about you because they want to find the little holes in your life
Where you where they have something that you don't like it's that's what makes them feel better inside
So by gossiping and talking about other people and and you know we've all been there. We've all
Judged other people we've all gossiped. We're human
You know it happens from time to time
But the difference between a healthy person that sometimes will judge or gossip and this type of a person is
When you're healthy, and you're judging in your gossiping
It doesn't feel good you it feels gross like you know after you do it. You're like, okay?
I shouldn't have done that and now I feel kind of nasty that I just did that where these people
They don't get that same feeling
they just feed off of the gossip and
But you know spreading of rumors and talking about everyone else's business and sticking their nose in where it doesn't belong
They're just proving and asking questions. They don't get that you know this feels gross type of a feeling
This is just what they do because they want to find out as much information as they can on everyone else
So they can just feel better about their own selves these are the people that also love to brag
they brag they show off their
Accomplishments, and you know I'm a big advocate of celebrating your wins you know celebrating your accomplishments
I think that's absolutely huge
But we've all been around a person that does it just a little too much
Or just brag the little too long where now you're starting to think is this person even really genuine and happy or they just
I'm getting the sense that they're just bragging now, and they're just kind of showing off, and then it's not even genuine anymore
And that's when that insecurity really comes out some people do it where they're showcasing
A new job or it could be money or it could be flaunting a relationship?
or it could be you know flaunting their children it could be anything something where they're just
Bragging a little too much about something to the point where you feel you feeling neatly
That it's not genuine anymore
but there's a reason why this person keeps going on and on and bragging and you know talking about all of their successes and
everything
And these people often don't talk about the things that aren't always going so well in their life and again
It's not about focusing on the negative
It's about just being human and saying you know what this isn't going that great, and that's okay
You know it will be but being more realistic in life these are the people that always want to showcase that their life is
absolutely perfect and
you know they're just going on and on about all the great things that are going on in their life to a point where it's
Just a little too much
But people that have great stuff going on in their lives and the people that are really happy and content with themselves
They definitely celebrate themselves, and they they talk about what's going on in their life
but they
Stop at a certain point because of a certain point they then know and feel that if they keep going on that
There's no need to I've made my point. I've expressed how happy and content
I am and how I have this great relationship, or this great career
Or this you know amazing child or you know whatever this accomplishment. There's a war that
I received and then that's kind of the end of it, so
The people that need to keep going on and on with what's going on in their life
And how amazing is we we've all been there. We've all seen this person before we're all of a sudden. We feel like okay
that's not really genuine and now you're just bragging and it sounds kind of
Like you're not even really happy that you're trying to prove that you're happy the next thing with insecure people and this sounds
Really sad because I'm assuming a lot of adults watch this video and not a lot of you know kids nice school
But maybe they do
but you know the stuff that happens when we're younger like making fun of people and
Belittling people and doing the bullying and all that type of stuff it happens when you're an adult as well
Because some people don't really ever grow out of that childlike mentality
So the insecure people are the people that love to just make fun of other people
So if someone's doing well, or just got you know
Just lost 20 pounds
Or just did something really great in their life or even if they just didn't
These are the people that need to always be making fun of other people because again just like when you're 14
And you're in high school or 16, and you're in high school
You know the person that was always making fun of everyone else was actually the person that was very insecure
and
It's the same thing when you're an adult the person that's always judging and always
Gossiping and always making fun of other people is the person that is just very insecure and unhappy with themselves and have
Severe wounds within themselves that they're not acknowledging
And they're not looking to heal or if they have acknowledged something within themselves
They haven't worked on themselves long enough to heal all of that stuff inside of themselves
These are the people that
They just love to start drama
so a lot of the
Gossiping and the making fun and talking about people behind their back and bragging changes all of that stuff combined is
Drama so they love to start drama, so when they're gossiping, and they're talking about other people, and they're saying oh well
I heard this and I heard so-and-so said this about you and all of that nonsense
They're doing it because they want to get a reaction out of you. They want to start something between people that
Doesn't need to be started. It shouldn't be started. That's none of their yes
But because there's someone secure and they need to be in the middle of everything that's going on and everyone else's lives
They can't just take a step back and say that has nothing to do with me
and I'm not going to talk about anyone else behind their back or make up stories, or ask probing questions like
Bouncing people happy people don't do any of that stuff so because they're so either
insecure within themselves or jealous of the person they're doing it to
This is the behavior that happens because of that because of that wound within themselves these are also the people that are extremely
Paranoid, and I always find it amusing because very insecure or jealous people are very paranoid people
They always think that someone's talking about them
so if you're at like a party or a function or whatever and
There's two friends talking and the third friend is kind of off doing whatever you know she'll come back and be like oh
We're going to talk about me. What were you guys talking about like they're so?
Paranoid that you know they're either going to miss out on some information
Or that someone's talking about them behind their back, or you know a lot of people in
Relationships that are insecure very paranoid people they think you know what is he doing? What's going on, and you know all they're just
Severely severely jealous insecure people because they have that stuff inside of themselves that they haven't dealt with they haven't brought up to the surface
And I always find it funny that the people that are the most
Paranoid in life are the people that are paranoid about the things that they do themselves
So when the person's paranoid because they're wondering if other people are talking about them in the room or what that conversation was about
It's probably because they just turned around and gossiped behind someone else's back
So how do we begin to deal with these types of people?
You know I always look at it
Like you need to figure out who your life if they aren't secure
And they have some of these tendencies you know maybe you have some in your life that does all of these things
And maybe that's a relationship that you might want to reconsider
But because it's you know always good to surround yourself with happy and healthy people
But you might have a friend where maybe he or she doesn't check the box on each one of these things
But they do one thing in particular
so maybe you know you have a friend Bob who he
One-up shoe every time you have a conversation with them
He always has to tell you what he has is better than yours and the conversation immediately goes straight over to him
When he's the one that asked you, how are you doing?
And he just cuts you off after you've given a little bit of information as to what's happening in your life
and he continues to tell you all the amazing things that are happening in his and goes on and on and on and
doesn't really want to sit there and be happy for you the biggest thing to remember is don't take any of that on if
someone's rubbing in your face something that they have you don't have
congratulate them say I'm so happy that you had that because the reality is you will have that someday and
You know if that person?
really cared about you and loved you they would never do that to you and
Even if they don't like you if they were happy and healthy themselves they still wouldn't do that to you
So that's something that's huge to remember to not take on someone Else's
Insecurities because when you do that means you're insecure yourself
And you're letting that person hit that wound inside of you
and when you've healed all of your wounds or
Even a lot of your wounds people won't be able to do that to you anymore
And when someone does it you might feel it because you're human you might do all of that
That's stung a little about her, but you'll immediately be able to just push it aside and say okay
That was you just being really insecure and meaning to feel better about yourself by doing what you just did to me
That was hurtful
And you don't take on someone else's stuff the big thing with dealing with these types of people is it's a great example
And a great test to how much you really love yourself
So if someone is rubbing something in your face
Or you know bragging too much or whatever and you all of a sudden start feeling a little insecure about your own self
great
This is the perfect time to start parenting yourself to start giving yourself positive self-talk
so encouraging yourself and loving yourself and
Treating yourself the way
you know a parent would treat a child if your child came to you or even
Someone you really love if they came to you and said you know
Jody just rubbed in my face that she just got this new job
And I would really love a new job like I want to switch my career
What would someone that loves you say to you or what would you say to your friend?
You would say honey. Don't worry about that
Don't let any of that stuff even bother you because they're really insecure, and that's why they're doing what they're doing
And you're an amazing person and you are going to get there
This is the time when you really start loving yourself in coaching yourself. This is a great opportunity to rise to the occasion and not
React you know negatively or with Jealousy or any of that any of that stuff as well?
Because it's just bringing your vibration down and you're meeting that person where they are
I mean
We're all human at times and sometimes when people do certain things it really just it
Stings it does but it's our own egos that are causing that sting to even happen
so if you can just remove your ego a little bit take a deep breath know that what they're doing has
Nothing to do with you
It's they're dealing with some stuff within themselves
And they're just projecting it out onto you when you can start to recognize that you will have
Self confidence in yourself, and you'll say that has nothing to do with me
And I'm not going to let anyone bring me down or try to start drama or you know gossip about me behind my back
Whatever they can do, whatever they want. It's not going to affect my mood and my happiness
because really
Healthy and happy People don't even waste their time
Dealing with jealous or insecure people
It's the people that feel like they need to fight back or the people that just wallow in self-Pity
Those are the people
That are losing those are the people that are wasting their time and energy on something that has nothing to do with them
You know these those are the people that haven't created a healthy wall to kind of deflect all of that negativity off of them
These are the people that haven't learned how to really self parent themselves and love themselves and talk them through
Situations when people are just trying to hurt you
What I would really love from you guys is tell me about your thoughts and opinions
Like have you ever dealt with this type of person before and what did they do that you felt?
Came from a very insecure jealous place, and how did you react to it? How did you overcome it?
So guys thank you so much for watching
Have a great day and don't forget to leave any questions or comments in the comment section below and don't forget to give this video
A thumbs up if you liked it, and I will see you next time