THANKS AGAIN FOR HELPING ME GET TO WORK.
I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
>> NO, NO PROBLEM, JAMES.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) SO WHAT ARE WE LISTENING TO THIS
TIME?
>> James: YEAH, NO I THINK WE'RE GOOD.
I DON'T THINK I NEED TO LISTEN TO ANY PLUSSIC.
WE SORT OF ALREADY DID THAT.
>> NO, I GET IT.
ARE YOU WORRIED BECAUSE I OUTSHOWN YOU LAST TIME.
>> James: YOU DID NOT OUTSHINE ME, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> OH, I THINK I DID.
>> James: I'M SORRY, WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, GK, I'M BRITISH.
THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO THAT WE CAN'T DO BETTER, OKAY.
>> OH YEAH.
LIKE WHAT, EXACTLY?
>> James: FOR A START, MUSIC.
THE BEATLES, THE ROLLING STONE, LED ZEPPELIN, ADELE, TAKE THAT?
>> WHO?
>> James: YES, THE WHO, THAT IS A GOOD ONE, OKAY, WE WHY,
THIS' A GOODS ONE YNS ONE WORD, WE YONS, STEVIE WONDER, BOB
DYLAN, PRINCE.
>> James: OKAY, I FORGOT ABOUT AM EM THIS, WE ARE BETTER AT
SPORTS.
>> I DON'T THINK THAT IS TRUE, AND IF IT IS, YOU HAVE NOTHING
TO DO WITH IT.
>> James: OH T IS ON.
>> IT'S ON.
>> James: OH, IT'S ON.
>> IT'S ON.
>> James: IT IS ON.
>> IT IS ON.
>> James: YEAH T IS SO ON YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW HON TON IS,
IT IS SO ON.
>> ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I AM THINKING.
>> James: YEAH, I AM, I'M THINKING EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE
THINKING.
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING DODGEBALL.
>> THE STAGE IS SET, A HEAD-TO-HEAD FACEOFF BETWEEN
MICHELLE OBAMA'S TEAM U.S.A. AND JAMES CORDEN TEAM U.K., WE'LL
DETERMINE ONCE AND FOR ALL WHICH COUNTRY IS BETTER.
IT REALLY IS THAT SIMPLE.
>> James: I'VE CALLED SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS TO HELP ME OUT
AND I'M PRETTY CONFIDENT THAT TEAM U.K. IS GOING TO-- I DON'T
WANT TO SAY DEMOLISH TEAM U.S.A.
BUT WE ARE GOING TO DEMOLISH TEAM U.S.A.
>> I HAVE MADE SOME CALLS.
AND LET'S JUST SAY THAT THIS TEAM IS GOING TO EAT THEM FOR
BREAKFAST.
FOR BREAKFAST.
THE MOST IMPORTANT MEAL OF THE DAY.
♪ ♪ YOU WOULD NOT PLEEF HOW EASY
IT WAS TO IMET PEOPLE TO DO, THIS ALL I HAD TO SAY WAS YOU'RE
GOING TO THROW A BALL AT JAMES CORDEN.
♪.
>> JAMES, WHEN MICHELLE O OBAMA CALLS AND ASKS YOU TO DO
ANYTHING, YOU JUST SAY YES.
>> WHEN JAMES CORDEN CALLS YOU, YOU INITIALLY IGNORE THE CALL.
THEN HE KEEPS CALLING YOU.
AND THEN STARTS TEXTING SAYING HEY, DID YOU GET MY CALL.
AND THEN HE SHOWS UP AT YOUR HOUSE.
YOUR WORK.
YOUR HAIRDRESSER.
YOUR PILATES CLASS.
AND YOUR SHOWER.
>> IT'S THE RED, WHITE AND BLUE VERSUS ALSO RED, WHITE AND BLUE
BUT WITH A DIFFERENT PATTERN.
>> I'M THINKING WE SHOULD PROBABLY DO LIKE SHIRTS VERSUS
SKINS BECAUSE OTHERWISE IT MIGHT GET CONFUSING, WITHOUT LIKE
WHOSE TEAM AM I ON?
I MEAN IT COULD GO EITHER WAY OR, YOU KNOW, HARRY, COULD YOU
PROBABLY-- HARRY, YOU WANT TO BE SKINS?
DO YOU NEED HELP?
YOU WANT TO JUST STRIP THAT TOP OFF.
>> IT WAS A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE PRETENDING THAT I'M A PLAYING
FOR YOU GUYS BUT I'M NOT, BECAUSE I'M FROM THE U.S.A.
>> James: YOU DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE. MAYBE WOULD YOU
FEEL COMFORTABLE IF YOU WEREN'T ON ANY TEAM, MAYBE YOU WOULD
FEEL COMFORTABLE IF YOU WEREN'T THE BAND LEADER ON OUR SHOW,
SUCK IT UP, YOU ARE BRITISH, GET ON BOARD WITH IT.
>> I GOT YOU.
>> James: THANK YOU.
>> WELL, HELLO GUFFER IN, CAN'T WAIT TO GET ME MITTENS ON.
OH BLIMEY.
>> James: OKAY, OKAY, YOU MIGHT WANT TO DIAL IT DOWN JUST
A LITTLE BIT.
THAT IS SLIGHTLY OFFENSIVE.
>> SO I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHERE IS THE NET, WHERE IS THE NET.
>> NO, THERE IS NOT GOING TO BE A NET.
THERE IS NO NET IN DOW JONES BEUL.
IT IS A NETLESS GAME.
>> WHO IS THE QUARTERBACK, ARE YOU THE QUARTERBACK?
>> NO, IT IS AGAIN A GREAT QUESTION THERE IS NO DUMB
QUESTIONS, USUALLY.
BUT THAT'S A DIFFERENT SPORT.
>> HOW ARE YOU FEELING, BUDDY, READY, READY TO DO THIS.
YOU KNOW WHAT I AM THINKING, GAME OF DODGEBALL, IMAIM OF
DODGEBALL, IMAIM OF DODGE IMAWL, GAME OF DODGEBALL, GAME OF
DODGEBALL, SEE T IS THE "GAME OF THRONES."
>> YEAH.
>> James: WE'RE GOING TO LOSE, AN WE.
>> I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I AM PROUD OF EACH AND EVERY ONE OF
YOU.
STRENGTH IS FLOT MEASURED ON HOW YOU THROW THE BALL.
IT IS MEASURED IN HERE.
>> AMEN.
>> WHEN THEY GO LOW, WE ALSO GO LOW.
>> OH.
>> CUZ THAT'S HOW DODGEBALL WORKS, AM I RIGHT?
RIGHT.
>>.
>> IT'S HARD TO SAY WHO GOING TO WIN THIS ONE, WHO AM I KID, OF
COURSE WE'RE GOING TO WIN T IS MICHELLE, MICHELLE OBAMA.
WE'RE WINNERS.
AND THE LAND OF THE FREE.
♪ AND THE HOME OF THE BRAVE.
(APPLAUSE).
♪ HAPPY AND GLORIOUS.
♪ GOD SAVE OUR QUEEN.
♪ YES, YES!
♪ EVERYBODY U.S. READY.
>> YES.
>> U.K. READY.
>> YES.
>> AND THEY'RE OFF, McCARTHY DIVES ON THE BALL, HARRY STYLES
LOOKING FOR HIS FIRST TARGET.
OH, AND CUMBERBATCH WITH A CUM BERCATCH.
THIS IS WIDE, NO HIT, SHERLOCK.
AND DOWN GOES BIG BEN.
OBAMA DODGES THAT BALL LIKE IT IS SATURATED FAT.
OH, PICKS OFF CORDEN.
JANUARYING TAKES ONE IN THE LEG, DIRECT HIT, REGGIE WATTS IMOAS
DOWN HARD, HE IS REALLY MILKING THIS, HARRY STYLES SO LOW, ALL
OVER AGAIN.
OBAMA WINDS UP AND RIGHT IN THE ONSIE.
AND THAT'S THE SHOT HEARD ROUND THE WORLD.
TEAM U.S.A. TAKES IMAIM ONE.
HE IS GOING TO FEEL THAT IN IN THE MORNING.
TEAM U.S.A. RIDING HIGH.
LET'S SEE HOW THE BRITISH ARE GOING TO REGROUP.
>> YOU KNOW, IT REALLY IS, IT IS A REALLY GOOD GAME.
IT IS A SMASHING GAME.
>> I THOUGHT IT WAS-- DOUGH BALL, I HOUT WE WERE THROWING
DOUGH.
>> OH BENEDICT, YOU HAVEN'T GOT A TEA, CAN I GET YOU A TEA,
DARLING.
>> I WOULD LOVE ONE, I'M PARCHED.
>> TIME FOR GAME TWO WHERE THE U.K. WILL TRY TO EVEN THINGS UP
WITH TEAM U.S.A.
>> THE U.K. ON THOSE BALLS LIKE JAM ON CRUMPETS.
THAT BALL KNOWS NOT TO MESS WITH THE FIRS LADY.
HARRY WINDS UP AND NAILS McCARTHY.
NAILED BY STYLES.
DREAMS DO COME TRUE.
>> YES.
>> MICHELLE TAKES A SHOT BUT IT'S GONE AND JUST LIKE THAT SHE
IS OUT OF OFFICE.
HERE IS JANUARYIE TAUNTING THE BRITISH PLAYERS.
AND A DIRECT HIT BY WATTS.
AN ABSOLUTE FLOP FOR THE U.K DOWN GOES HUDSON.
HITS WATTS IN THING WILL AND ANOTHER ONE, THEY'RE REALLY
PILING ON THE HURT.
AMERICANS DO NOT LIKE A TRAITOR.
AIMS FOR CORDEN AND HE'S OUT, NO, WAIT, AN AMAZING SAVE, DOWN
GOES KUNIS AND THEY TAKE GAME TWO, EVEN AT A IMAIM A PIECE.
CAPTAIN CORDEN AND HIS TEAM REALLY SAVORING THIS ONE WITH
JOHN BRADLEY CELEBRATING LIKE THEY JUST KILLED A.
>> LOOK HOW CHILDISH.
>> TEAM U.S.A. HAS TO MUSTER SOMETHING UP FOR GAME THREE.
>> I WANT TO DO THIS.
MI GOING TO DO THIS.
>> I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.
>> I JUST WANT TO MAKE YOU PROUD.
>> I HAVE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE SO WOULD YOU MIND.
>> OH, SURE.
>> I WOULD BE HONORED.
>> YOU PROBABLY WANT ME TO AUTOGRAPH THIS ONE.
>> ARE YOU TOO EMBARRASSED TO ASK.
>> NOT REALLY.
>> THANK YOU.
>> U ARE SA AMAZING.
>> I'M HAPPY TO DID IT.
>> OH OF COURSE.
>> TRAITOR, THE LOT OF YOU.
>> IT ALL COMES DOWN TO A THIRD AND FINAL GAME.
WILL TEAM U.K. KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON OR WILL TEAM U.S.A.
REDECLARE ITS INDEPENDENCE.
WE'RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT.
>> OFF TO EYE QUICK START, WATT IMMEDIATELY TAKES OUT
McCARTHY.
CUMBERBATCH WITH A DIRECT HIT.
HE'S LOOKING GUILTY ABOUT THAT ONE.
YOU CAN PROBABLY EXPECT A VISIT FROM THE SECRET SERVICE LATER.
STYLES NAILS KUNIST AND SHE IS IN ABSOLUTE SHOCK.
WATT APPEARS TO BE FEELING THE EFFECT OF HIS PREGAME GUMMI.
HUDSON GOES IN FOR THE KILL.
JOHN BADLY TAKES ONE TO THE BACK AND NOW HIS WATCH HAS ENDED.
CORDEN NAILS HUDSON BUT JAYNEIE GETS REVENGE AND HE IS SERIOUS,
CORDEN MOT TAKING THAT GRACELY-- GRACEFULLY.
CUMBERBATCH THE LAST ONE STAYING FOR TEAM U.K. IT IS A TWO ON
ONE.
OH, THERE IT IS.
THE FINAL SHOT.
RAISE THE FLAG, RELEASE THE BALD EAGLEK TEAM U.S.A. IS YOUR
DODGEBALL CHAMPION!
ULTIMATELY THE SUPERIOR ATHLETICISM OF MICHELLE O OBAMA
TEAM U.S.A. WAS TOO MUCH TO HANDLE FOR THE BRITS.
>> HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LOSE.
>> AND JUST LIKE THAT THE TEAM FROM THE U.K. BREXIT THEIR
CHANCE AT GLORY.
(APPLAUSE) AND THERE YOU HAVE IT.
ONE TEAM ENTERING THE AMALS OF SPORTS HISTORY AND ANOTHER TO BE
FORGOTTEN FOREVER.
HISTORY REPEATING AS THE U.S.A.
DE CLEARS VICTORY OVER THE U.K.
>> James: AT THE END OF THE DAY WE SHOWED KIDS THAT EXERCISE
CAN BE FUN, THAT IS THE BIG THING, HONESTLY, I CAN'T EVEN
REMEMBER WHO WON OR LOST.
>> OH NO, NO YOU I LOST, WE WON.
>> James: HAVE I NO IDEA IF THAT IS EVEN FREU.
>> NO, IT'S TRUE.
>> James: NOBODY KNOWS.
>> YEAH, WE KNOW, YOU LOST.
ED.
WE WON.
IT'S OKAY.
(APPLAUSE).
>> James: THANK YOU, THANK YOU TO MICHELLE OBAMA AND EVERYBODY
ELSE.
BE SURE TO CHECK OUT HER BOOK "BECOMING" WHICH SOWT RIGHT NOW.
WHEN WE COME BACK, TOM HANKS AND GILLIAN ANDERSON ARE GOING TO BE
HERE, COME BACK, EVERYBODY. (APPLAUSE)