By the end of this video,
you are going to know what those three things are.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I am an attorney and a narcissist negotiation expert and
on this channel, and in these videos,
I give you the tools to shift the dynamic
to become the most powerful one
with the most toxic personality on the planet and
if that is something that you want,
then you must right now hit that subscribe button and
hit that notification bell.
Go on, do it right now,
you can finally become the one that has the power in your hands.
Okay, so narcissists hurt you so many times;
How about you know…
what hurts the narcissists the most for a change? and
this is really important
because this really has so much to do with
how to powerfully negotiate with narcissists and
this is something that I teach all the time,
this is something I really share in my negotiation courses and training.
So this is the critical piece and by the way,
you need to watch till the end
because the ending is going to absolutely shock you.
The one thing they really don't want more than anything is,
they don't want to be exposed.
There's different levels of things for narcissists,
they don't want to be exposed, meaning,
they want to look good at all time.
They don't want to be exposed.
This could come in a lot of different forms,
so making them look bad in front of others,
criticizing their intelligence, criticizing their looks, their success,
you could be out to dinner, you can say something so benign,
like, we were out at a gas station and
he wasn't pumping the gas himself, or something like that,
I don't know, I mean, I'm just totally making stuff up,
this isn't something that ever happened to me
in my real life just so you know and
the husband could like go flipping out over that,
something that you wouldn't even think would even be a thing,
he didn't drink all of his coffee, I mean, anything and
all of a sudden, like that's a huge thing.
You just never know what could set them off sometimes.
I always joke that narcissists hear your tone like dogs hear whistles.
I mean, sometimes you could say something to them and they go,
“Oh, you said something to me in a very sarcastic way” and
you’re like “No, I didn't say anything”
but they hear that as criticism.
Sometimes they take things in a way, like a criticism,
that's not even a criticism in the very easily slightest.
They don't like that,
sometimes it's just even sharing
personal information about them with other people,
they perceive it to be personal, they don't like that.
Sometimes it's having an achievement invalidated,
they don't like that.
There's a lot of different things,
but if they are criticized in front of people in a certain way,
they definitely don't like that.
So when you're going to negotiate with them,
certainly any kind of potential exposure is going to be
a great way to create leverage in my S.L.A.Y methodology,
which is strategy, leverage, anticipating and focusing on you.
I talk a lot about how to create that strategy, that leverage and
leverage is oftentimes tied up in that potential exposure
because they really don't want to be criticized,
they really don't want to be exposed.
In my video “Make a narcissist panic”,
I talk about how to make a narcissist panic.
You can definitely check that out if you'd like,
they definitely do not want to be exposed.
That is one thing where you could really hurt that narcissist.
Okay, number one criticism in front of people they respect.
Any kind of thing where you're ignoring the narcissist and
by the way, this is one of those things,
“What's good for the goose is good for the gander”, whatever.
Who’s ghosting all the time?
Mmm-hmm, yeah. Narcissists have no problem doing that to you,
but you definitely can't ignore them.
I mean, they will flip out if you ignore them or tell them no
or just any kind of thing where they feel they're not in control.
They don't like that
or if you tell them they're not good enough,
or they're worthless, or anything like that.
Of course, they don't like that and
of, who likes that, anyway.
I mean, obviously, but they really don't like that.
I mean, if you tell somebody who has a strong sense of self
they're not good enough, that they're worthless,
or something like that,
they might go, “Okay, whatever”,
But, if you tell a narcissist that, they might get extremely defensive,
they may not like that at all.
You really don't want to do that sort of thing,
even private with a narcissist, they can projection, deflection,
especially if they can be abusive, or something like that.
You really have to be careful about that as well.
So, those are the first two.
Now I'm going to unveil what I told you is going to shock some of you,
this is not what you normally would think of when it comes to narcissists,
but it's true and I've told you guys many times that the narcissist is
this scared little person on the planet deep down inside.
So, the last one, the thing that scares them the most,
the thing that would hurt them the most
Narcissists are really, really afraid of being abandoned and
that would hurt them the most.
But let me tell you, you cannot save them and
staying with them will absolutely suck your soul,
it will drain the life out of you, believe me, I know and
I was never with a narcissist in a romantic situation,
My situation was in a business situation and
then we have one in our family, my husband and I and
there's a reason they're called energy vampires.
You can’t expect that they will be rehabilitated,
you empaths out there, I see you out there,
you think you can save them and you cannot,
no you can't, you can’t fix what's broken,
something happened deep down inside in them a long time ago.
You can't fix it. You can't fill that void.
It's a hole that cannot be filled.
They have a fear of being abandoned, that will hurt the narcissist the most.
You can't fix that, okay?
If you are getting ready to negotiate with a narcissist or with anyone,
my free “Crush my negotiation” prep work sheet is available
at winmynegotiation.com.
My free support group is on Facebook,
at “Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung”.
I do also encourage you to subscribe to this channel,
subscribe, hit that notification bell.
Make sure you remember that
you should never give in and you should never give up.
Remember to slay and that today is a great day to start negotiating your best life.
I will definitely see you in the next video.