- What a beautiful sunrise.
It just takes your breath away doesn't it?
(terrifying roar)
Oh, my Godzilla!
(screams)
- Sorry about that!
Please don't be scared.
Didn't mean to roar so loud, but I just stubbed my toe
on a supermarket and yowie that stings!
This is so frustrating!
I'm not trying to wreck this city
but it's downright impossible to turn
with this humongous tail!
- Whoa!
- Sorry!
So, so sorry!
- Wait, so you're not wrecking the city on purpose?
- Of course not, I love the city!
Urban environments make me feel so alive.
After eons in the depths of the ocean,
sometimes you just want to head downtown,
eat at a fancy restaurant, and catch a show, y'know?
Unfortunately it always winds up being
a complete disaster cuz-
- Cuz your tail is (singing) like a wrecking ball!
- You know, I may be toppling entire buildings over here,
causing billions in property damage
but you sir are annoying.
- I'm not annoying,
I'm an orange.
(laughs)
(screaming and crashing)
- Sorry, sorry, sorry!
So sorry!
- A famous movie star is wrecking my city!
I can hardly believe it!
Wait til my friends hear of this tale.
(laughs)
- Hey!
If you make fun of the tail,
you're going to get the business end of the tail.
Got it?
- Wow, easy.
Let's take this anger and scale it back, shall we?
(laughs)
- Grr.
(smashing of metal and glass)
- Awesome!
I always hated that bridge.
(laughs)
Ooh, use your fire breath on that skyscraper
or is that too tall an order?
(laughs)
- I don't have fire breath!
- Yes, you do.
You're Godzilla.
Godzilla has fire breath.
- No, I don't!
Listen, now that's common misconception.
You might be thinking of a dragon.
See I get confused with other big lizards pretty often.
- So you're not a dragon?
- I am not a dragon.
- Then why you draggin' your tail across those power lines?
(electrical sizzle and pops)
- Aww, man!
This is what I get for trying to hang out in the city.
- You should really try and lighten up.
(laughs)
- Oh well, I guess I'll just head back
into the depths of the ocean
for another millennia or two.
- Nah, don't do that!
Who'll make those commercials?
- What commercials are you goin' on about?
- The Geico commercials, duh.
Your voice is so funny in those!
- Are you serious right now?
That's not me.
- Do the voice!
Do the unplaceable accent you do in those commercials.
- Oy, it isn't me!
- Really?
- Really.
That's a gecko.
I'm way bigger than that.
- Huh.
Well they say the camera adds ten pounds,
so easy mistake to make.
- It really isn't.
Do you understand how much bigger than a gecko I am?
Also I'm not gonna save you 10 percent
on your can insurance.
(crash and explosion)
Ah, for crying out loud!
- Betcha wish you had insurance right now, huh?
Hey, I know a place that can save you up to 15 percent!
(laughs)
- Oh, it's Godzilla!
(screams)
- What's the point?
Everyone hates me.
- No they don't.
- Yes they do.
You saw that guy just now.
Even the name Godzilla!
It instills terror.
- True but you could always rebrand.
- What do you mean?
Like, go by a new name?
- Sure.
Something a little more approachable.
More G-rated and family-friendly.
Like Gosh-zilla.
Or Gol-zilla.
- You want me to go by Gosh-zilla?
G-O-S-H.
- Well sure.
We got kids that watch this show, ya know.
(laughs)
- I'm not changing my name to Gosh-zilla.
- How about Dave?
- No, I'm not going to do it!
- Frank?
- No way!
- Stubbs?
- Aww!
- No, stubs!
(crashing)
- Augh, my toe!
Owie owie owie!
(explosion)
- Ahhhhhh!
- Well, there goes the neighborhood.
(laughs)
(playful music)