- [Narrator] In this video, I'm going to share with you
exactly how I overcame my social anxiety,
and I'm gonna do it by sharing with you a personal story.
About four years ago, I was the guy
who was incredibly awkward around girls.
I remember I would always see these guys
who seemed to be so naturally good with girls,
and I really didn't understand what they were doing
that was so different from what I was doing.
I didn't know what to say, how to say it,
I didn't understand how to flirt,
or even what flirting was.
Whenever I saw a girl that I liked,
I had this confused feeling right in my stomach
where I just didn't know what to do.
About halfway through university,
I started to watch people like Elliott Hulse,
and I also started to read some self-help books.
And doing this exposed me to some very interesting ideas.
The most interesting idea that I was exposed to
was a very simple one, and it was
you have the power to change things in your life.
So I sat down at my desk, and I said out loud
I am not happy with my dating life.
And then right after that, I said out loud,
but I can change this if I want to,
and I recommend you do the same thing.
Also around this time, YouTube pranks were very popular,
and I would see these YouTubers go up
and approach girls during the day,
and they would say all these crazy things,
and no matter what they said,
it always seemed like they were able to attract the girl.
So after I watched about 10 or 20 of these videos,
I decided in that moment that I wanted to learn
how to be that confident.
So at this time, there was no way I was gonna be able
to approach a beautiful girl during the day.
I had to start off with something much, much, much smaller.
So instead, was I would go out on the street,
and I simply would ask people hey, what time is it?
And they would reply it's 10 a.m.,
and I would say thank you.
And believe it or not,
at first this was a little bit difficult for me,
which is honestly kind of depressing to admit,
but it's the truth.
And I did this until I became 100% comfortable doing it.
And then after that, I would ask them how's your day going?
And then I would make more and more small talk.
I kept pushing myself outside of the comfort zone.
So for a couple months, I kept pushing myself more and more.
And then I woke up one day,
and I decided that this was the day
when I was going to approach a girl,
and I was gonna say to her
hey, I thought you were attractive,
and I just wanted to say hi, just like those YouTubers.
So I left my apartment, and I told myself
I was not allowed back into my apartment
until I had approached someone.
I left my apartment,
and I started to walk around on the street.
And whenever I would see an attractive girl,
I would make up some stupid excuse
about how I could not approach her.
I would say stuff like she looks like she's in a hurry,
she looks mean, she looks like she has a boyfriend
even though that makes absolutely no sense,
she looks like she's about to get a phone call,
literally any excuse that I could think of,
I would tell myself, and then I would just wouldn't do it.
So five hours later, I am still wandering around the city,
but I had made the commitment to myself
that I could not return to my apartment
until I did this.
I needed to honor this commitment,
because I understood that these types of commitments
are what make you succeed.
I'm walking along the sidewalk watching the sun go down.
I see this brunette girl walking ahead of me,
and for whatever reason in that moment,
I told myself it's either now or never.
You can either live your life like a wimp
or go up and face your fears head-on.
So I run up to her, and I tap her on the shoulder,
and then when she turned around,
I realized that I had just approached
one of the most beautiful girls that I had seen all day.
The first five minutes of the conversation
were a bit awkward, but I pushed through it,
and very quickly we both became very comfortable
with one another, and we even talked for about 20 minutes.
I got her number, we hugged goodbye,
and then I could finally return to my apartment.
And when I returned to my apartment,
I had such a tremendous feeling of accomplishment,
because just months ago the thought
of approaching a girl during the day
gave me so much anxiety to the point
where I could physically feel knots in my stomach
when I really imagined going up
and approaching a girl during the day.
What are the takeaways of my story here?
There are five main things that you need to understand
if you wanna overcome your social anxiety.
One, sit down and say out loud that you want to change.
Two, say out loud that you have the power to change it.
Three, set a goal of what you want to do.
For me, it was simply approach a beautiful girl
during the day without having a heart attack.
Four, start taking very, very small steps
that push you a little outside of your comfort zone
and closer to your goal.
And the fifth and final, most important step
is constantly course correct your way there,
meaning identify the things that you could do better
and fix those things.
A really easy example could be someone
who's really afraid of public speaking.
And to correct that, the best thing
that that person can do is say something
in front of one person.
Then talk in front of two people, three people,
four people, and just keep increasing it.
And do it until you're comfortable.
If you do this, it's pretty much impossible
for you not to reach your goal.
But it will take time.
If you enjoyed this video, please share it
on social media like Reddit or Twitter,
as that really helps the channel grow.
Or just simply like the video.
Thanks for watching, and I'll see you in the next one.
(light music)