So what you're saying is...
EXCELSIOR!!!
[music]
Ok so I'm really excited today,
today is our summer watergun edition.
*sound of success!* *sound of sword ca-ching-ing*
Look at this amazing water gun!
We had no choice but to get these.
Is it a water gun, or is it a GUN BLADE?!
Anybody a fan of Final Fantasy 8? Squall Leonhart?
I played all the Final Fantasys because I'm a nerd.
Ok well mine is a really special one,
this is a little pump stick,
and pretty much you just gotta suck the water up,
and you gotta spray it out,
We're gonna put water in our little bear bucket, and Simon will,
so I'll pump it in and I'll spray it out.
What makes this so magical is the illustration on it:
You see a little boy: he's pumping off a big load.
of water!
Into this girls face, with her arms open,
and she's like "YAY!"
and her eyes closed and her chin out,
and...I thought it was very appropriate for summertime fun!
Now, I've never used this before, and I'm a little bit worried,
because the spraying comes from here, and you fill it in his bum,
and so it's like, if I spray it,
won't it go up my nose or something?
No, it's gotta be like a gun blade,
you gotta hit and spray at the same time,
I gotta hack...I'm gonna get killed here today!
Well, no. I think that makes it a more lethal weapon.
We have an unhappy party of crying children all around us.
The children are terrified of this game that we're playing.
I think we scared everyone.
I know. It's the foreigners! They're playing with toys!
Ok so we've come up with a set of rules here.
We've brought two buckets with us,
and each of us is allowed to fill the bucket with water,
as you can see behind us, we've got lots of water,
and you're only allowed to use this. You can't keep going back.
Because Simon's water...stick...pump,
can definitely fill more water than my gunblade,
Ok so we're gonna see who's gonna win this battle.
I think I'm gonna win.
Are you ready to go? Let's battle! READY?!
*lame combat sounds of two people clearly inexperienced in the art of fighting*
Ok so the deal is we have each of our buckets placed behind us,
That's mine.
We can only refill based on the water,
we cannot go back to the fountains.
that's it, and we're gonna see who has the superior weapon.
Martina's going down!
I'm really scared, I'll be honest
You better be!
I can still beat you with the sword though!
If you can even catch me! I'm a fast runner!
Ok, to battle stations!
3, 2, 1, go!
YAH!
Make sure you stay in the camera range!
This is completely unfair!
Ah yeah!
*girlish giggling*
You can't use my bucket!
You can't!
*more girlish giggling*
I think it's clear that I won
This is terrible! It's defective!
Winner!
Ok this is a totally unfair invention!
Winner!
Look at my makeup smudged face! Unfair situation people!
Oh bombaclot!
No!
So I think it's clear to say who is the winner here!
Even though mine broke in the middle of battle,
It still has the most bang for its buck.
This is a totally ridiculous game,
Because this little pumping thing here,
first of all it goes up!
So you're like pointing it at the person
and my finger's all like, look at this! I'm actually bleeding!
One thing that's for sure is that this is,
it said 0-3: this is for 4 and up,
I wouldn't give my 4 year old this. You could really beat someone with this!
I mean, imagine if you're losing at your watergun fight.
I would resort to kicking people, or beating them with the sword.
Flashback!
I gotta tell you, this is the best water gun that I've owned in my entire life!
It loads really quickly, right?
Like, yours has really tiny sprits,
and sure it last longer than the other ones,
but, like, one pump of this one,
INSTANT VICTORY!
Look I still got water in here.
I suppose this can be like a good joke gift.
You're like "hey let's play with this water gun!"
This has so much range also,
I mean, look how far it's gonna go.
And it finally just hit the ground right now. That's pretty intense.
Anyways, that's it. I'm gonna go home and sulk now
after everybody in the park around us saw me get my butt kicked.
You got hosed!
GONG!
And as for the winner of the WTF care package of the month,
The winner is: gonna be announced in the bloopers,
I'm all wet!
You got hosed.
Uhhh.
That's a cute little blanket you have on your head.
It's not a blanket! It's a towel!
I'm a very cute blue bear!
See what I have to put up with, guise?
What?!
See what I have to put up with?
Why?!
GONG!