Hi everybody and welcome back to whatever this is. Uh-huh. I'm your host
Jack Spedici man and I'll be here to do some more ridiculous quizzes because let's face it
I have been gargling gravel all day apparently and can't speak still. So let's do something else like this
That's not too taxing. But let's face it. They were fun. Have you been playing along with the Arg?
Have you found all the clues yet?
keep trying
Since we went on a
Color vision bender a little while ago and found out that I'm red green colorblind
Miles proton here ready to take another one of these quizzes only people with perfect color vision can read these words
Do not adjust your monitor monitor unless you're a cheater
how dare you first you insult my colorblindness and then you tell me that I'm a cheater if I try and actually
Make myself be able to see these words. How dare you Lauren Brandt's this isn't to her
the first one says tree
That's easy. Correct. The word in the box is tree
We have not good right after all maybe all those other websites that actually deal with proper color blindness were wrong and BuzzFeed is correct
Which word is in the Box eat?
Got it, right dude, I'm nailing this let's say boot
We're not colorblind at all and that's pretty sweet this one says Park this one says love this one has nothing
What
There's oh my god. There's literally nothing there for me. Don't tell me some of you are actually seeing something there
I don't believe it. I'm not gonna just my monitor what I am gonna use my nifty gifty handy-dandy
Gyroscopically stable wonder scopes here to try and see
Can't see shit captain. Those are the indoor version and they're not working. Let me see if these bad boys work
No
I'm gonna go with the word fat because I'm convinced that this is a big fat lie
It was hot that
Is not there, but that words not there. Now. You're just being a dick. This one says bead
Seven out of eight right perfect color vision. I don't even need the glasses
That other thing was a lie. Can you pass this lie-detector test? That's what we're all here to find out
I will because I'm an expert liar. Watch this
The earth is round
See you all believe me just search online now the earth is round
Look how fast that has spread everybody already believes me. Yeah see and Google this in life
So I'm going to pass this with flying colors
Read the image below and try your best to remember everything you will soon be testing this information the imagery visit visible for 30 seconds
Oh
Jesus your name is Alex Smith. You robbed a bank a Tuesday at 4:00 p.m
And got away with 50 grand your cousin Mason was your accomplice
You told your best friend Sam Simpson that you were at the park near the Bay Beach
Mason told his mom that he was picked up an egg that he picked up
He was picking up an extra shift at his job at the hospital
I can't even read it right the first time Alex Smith Bank Tuesday, 4:00 p.m
50 grand cousin Mason accomplice best friend Sam Simpson at the park near the beach Mason mom
Extra shift Hospital got it. Is it in your brain?
Let's do it already forget half the stuff and I'm already I'm just looking at a time's up. Your name is Alex Smith, correct?
Do you know anything about the bank robberies took place on Tuesday?
Yeah
What think back to last week. Where were you on Tuesday afternoon? Oh
I was at my cousin's house Oh
Already forget what the hell it asked me
My cousin Sam Simpson was my accomplice and Tuesday afternoon of 4 p.m. I got away with robbing 50 grand
But I told people I was at the park near the beach. I
Got it. Which Park did you go to the one near the beach?
Your phone records show that you called your cousin three times that day and your friend twice. What's your cousin's name?
Mason and what is your best friend's last name Simpson? I
Guess I shouldn't the whole thing is a lie now because I said that I knew something about the bank robbery
Yeah, I know it was me but all the other information I want to give you says that it wasn't
What's the lie? Do you know what your best friend was doing that afternoon? No
The interrogator who was it Connor the Android sent by cyber life the negotiator?
Scribbled something in her notebook and looks up at the security camera. Let's get back to your cousin. Where was he that afternoon at?
Work he was picking up an extra shift and finally does your cousin usually work on Tuesday afternoons
No, cuz he was picking up an extra shift
You got eight out of nine, right?
haha
You got away with it you're a master of deception you kept her story straight and now you get to keep 50 grand
Just don't go on a shopping spree that might look a little suspicious, you know
I'm gonna buy a boat. They'd never suspect. It was me. I have a sore throat
Couldn't have been me officer I was sucking on ice ages all day now we think
BuzzFeed knows what I'm doing because this one is asking me did I ruin everything I bet you did that's so you. Hey
John Luke boo card
Don't come jumping down my ass about things that I did or didn't do. Okay, my alibi was perfect
I knew exactly what was happening. All right
So no, I didn't mess everything up. Where's Katie upset? What did you do to Katie?
Whoa, can we pump the hate breaks here for a second? I?
Didn't do anything to Katie. I've been sitting here nursing a freaking bloody throat all day
What did you do to katie? Jean-luc?
Classic deflection of jean-luc. I pushed her into the snow and asked if she liked eating snow burgers. Oh
That's good. I threw a big basket of oranges at her long beautiful hair
Wait, you didn't flew the basket of oranges that hurt you. Threw it at her hair
Take that hair
orange attack
I asked her about her date with the intention of falling asleep in the middle of her reply
And I lured her kind wood foolish uncle into a swamp and cut off his beard
Okay, am I delirious on
Medication right now. What is happening? I'm gonna go with the uncle beard. What happened to the kitchen. It's a mess. I
Don't know I don't live here
I just showed up and you started asking me questions about what it's Katy and what's wrong with your kitchen
I baked a cake using the heat of my body. Oh
You know it I held a party in the kitchen and only invited large dogs, though
That is something I would definitely do. I started making pancakes and I fell asleep for two days. Mm-hmm. No, not really
I forgot how to make ice cubes the one and one thing led to another
If you don't make ice cubes, and this happened no
I'm talking about the large dogs because that would mean that I had a party with some large dogs and that's something that is
Awesome. My car is ruined. What did you do? I
Didn't do anything you had 15 shots of whiskey and decided to drive home. You're asking me this question from a hospital bed
What did you do to the car? I drove it into a very hard lake
I'm beginning to question the legitimacy of this quiz. I tried to turn it into the Kara from flubber, but it was nearly impossible. I
Feared its power and heard it before it could hurt me just like an Enders game the novel by Orson Scott Card
You know cuz I just carry around that trivia with me all the time
I was eating a delicious melon as I drove on the highway and trucks came out of nowhere
I'm gonna blame secret answer number five
Which is that Undertaker threw mankind off a Hell in a Cell cage sixteen feet into an sirs table in
1993
Weights nobody else talking about this the cat looks terrible. What did you do to miss her? Mr
Whisker brister's Casper me reacted to the fact that you gave it a fucking stupid name
I got him a book dealer with an indie publisher. No the cat would love that. Okay, I would love to tell his life's tales
It's like Garfield. I tried to make him fuse into a dog so that he could be at least half done
Okay
as
silly as this is as much as I'm trying to make humor out of this for the sake of a funny video and everything and
I'm the one here doing the quiz after all jean-luc Picard. You actually wrote this abomination you
were
Sat down by somebody at BuzzFeed and they said write a quiz for us
And this is what you came up with you got paid to do this
Actually, no good on you John Luke. You got paid to write this
This is your job. That's amazing BuzzFeed shame on you
Actually shame on me for doing the quiz for the sake of a video or shame on you for watching it. I
Don't know who the shame falls upon but somebody should feel very shameful in the middle of all this I ate his fur
Because it was shiny like keys, which I also eat. Yeah. Sure
Why not throw all logic out the window make me a stupid dumbass the town the town is on fire. What happened?
Um that looks like the background for rain of fire starring Christian Bale a Matthew McConaughey my favorite film about dragons
I am not 100% sure. This is my fault. To be honest. Yeah pass blame. Just that's all I say to every situation
Just walk in and say everything's on fire
And I don't know what happened as I hide the lighter in my pocket, ah, the American political system
What did you do? Sorry, I
voted for
Trump
You know the president that I'm not allowed vote for because I'm not from America you got huh?
I guess you didn't ruin everything. I'm gonna be damned. I guess I was wrong
He ruined a few things but you didn't ruin everything that whole forest over there is barely ruined at all
my bad
Sorry to blow things out of proportion
Go back to whatever it is you were doing
What was I doing before this what was life
for the boys fee quiz
Ho ho and I have saved the best quiz for last
The most pristine quiz that the Internet has ever seen written by Kevin Smith of the BuzzFeed staff
This one is you're only allowed to have sex if you can pass this quiz
So I guess we're going to find out something about me after this. Which brand do you think this is Oh,
Trojan no, it's a lifestyles. Of course how well I can't have sex because I didn't know what brand of condom it was
Okay, now what brand is is this all just answering questions about condoms
This is all answering questions about condoms every single question is about condoms
I'm just answering randomly every
Single answer random condom novice get out of there and have more safe sex so you can get to know the difference
Hope I drown drinking this, okay
Okay. Okay. I know what you're thinking jack. Not your best effort. I agree. Okay
I went out there looking for the dumbest quizzes seems like I found them I thought oh
You know what dumb quiz that's gonna be funny
I'm sorry. Okay. I tried I really tried but just remember
The clues okay when you leave this room
When you go out there remember that they are watching they are always out there watching you
But if you have found the clues, you will know her to go next
Find Jericho go out there and be free
Okay. I am Connard the Android said by cyber life
Good night, everybody
(Outro Music)
Realizing the kara doesn't get any me mobile lines