Hi there, teacher Harry here. Welcome back to my English lessons where we try
to help you to get a better understanding of the English language. Whatever you need,
we're here to help you. Whether it's business English, whether it's conversational English,
job interview techniques. Whether it's chit-chat, small talk, grammar, pronunciation,
whatever it is, you'll find us here to help you. So what are the lesson about today?
Well, in this particular lesson, we're going to look at asking for,
giving and or ref... refusing permission. Okay, so asking for, giving and refusing permission. Okay.
Now, usually, when we're talking about asking for something, we tend to recommend that people do it
in a polite way. Okay. And particularly in British English. Usually, requests like this are polite or
formal requests. So let me give you a few examples of what a polite formal request will be.
Do you mind if I switch on or switch off the light?
Do you mind if I take that last piece of cake?
Would you mind if I invited a friend around this evening for dinner?
May I call you later if you're not busy?
Could I possibly borrow your pen? Or could I possibly borrow your phone?
Or could I possibly ask you to help me?
Is it possible to move our meeting to another day, I'm a little bit busy today?
Is it possible for me to use your name as a reference,
I'm looking for a new job and I need to give or provide a few references? Is it possible for me?
So all of these really polite,
nice ways when you're making a formal request? Okay. And of course,
when we get or we make a request, we will get some form of a reply. So we would like to look at
polite formal replies, these are the responses to requests. So you might hear something like that.
No, not at all. If it suits you. Okay. Yes, you may. Of course,
give my name, I'd be very happy to act as a reference.
Yes, of course, invite whichever friend you would like. They're always welcome here.
Of course, be my guest borrow my phone whenever you wish. Yes, it's my pleasure to help you
if I can, I would certainly be willing to help. Or certainly be my guest. All really,
really nice, polite, more formal replies when somebody asks a particular question.
Now, if you're using this one, in particular, the one I mentioned first,
no, not at all. Be really careful with with that because when we use the word no,
somebody automatically thinks it's a negative. But in English when we use it in that way, no,
not at all, it means No, I don't mind. Yeah. So for example, if I said to you, would you mind
if I borrowed your car? Or would you mind if I used your telephone? The response might be No,
not at all. Meaning, No, I don't mind if you borrow my car. No, I don't mind if you borrow
my phone. No, I don't mind if you use my name as a reference. So it's actually a positive even though
we're using the word No. So be really, really careful with that because it might
sound a little strange, but in British English, it's the right way to reply.
Okay, now, let's look at examples of asking and giving permission. Okay, so we can use something
like Do you mind if? Do you mind if I take off my coat? Do you mind if I pour myself a glass
of water? Do you mind if I leave my coat on your chair? Do you mind if I sit down? So there are all
ways of asking for permission. And then somebody will say then, Yeah, no, not at all. Please take
your coat off. Make yourself comfortable. No, not at all. Please sit down. Make yourself
feel as if you're at home, okay? Or no, not at all. Help yourself to water or tea or coffee.
There's something there for you if you wish to use it. So the request very polite, the response
equally polite. As I said, be very careful when we use that word no, in the response because the
person is not being negative. They're not saying no, you can't have any water when they say no,
not at all. That's what it's there for, the water is there for you. I have some tea and
coffee so if you'd like tea or coffee, please help yourself feel free. Make yourself feel
At home, okay. So as if you were in your own home, so it's not a refusal
but it's been used in the way to respond politely to somebody who makes a polite request to you.
So for example, could I possibly close the window, It's a little chilly in here? Or
could I possibly close the window, it's a little bit noisy outside? And the answer might be, Oh,
yes, of course, close the window. And, or, you know, if you want to turn on the heating,
feel free, turn the heating on, or turn the heating up, just to warm the room. Okay.
Now, if somebody wants to refuse your request, which can happen, so you ask for something,
and somebody wants to refuse but they don't want to be rude, they will refuse in a more polite way.
So usually, you would hear the words like,
Oh, look, I'm sorry, that won't be possible today. So somebody said, Can I
push that meeting back by a couple of days, perhaps Wednesday? I'm sorry, that won't be
possible. And on the day off on Wednesday, or I'm fully booked on Wednesday. How about Thursday?
Or do you mind if I take your parking space tomorrow for the next few days? I have to drop
the kids to school. So I'm going to have to bring the car. I'm afraid that is out of the question.
We don't have any free parking spaces available. In fact, quite a few staff have asked for them.
So I've given them the same answer. It's just at the moment out of the question. I'm really sorry.
Do you mind if I smoke? I would rather that you didn't. So here it's a very polite but firm way
of telling somebody Well, actually, I prefer if you didn't smoke in my room, there's a room at
the end of the hall or smoking in this building is not permitted. So I rather that you didn't.
Is it possible to leave early today? I've got an appointment with the dentist at four o'clock. And
it takes me a bit of time to get there. Well, I'm afraid not. Not today, we've got a really tight
deadline. So is it possible for you to change the date of your dental appointment? Okay, so there
are refusals of somebody requesting something but they're more polite than just saying 'no.'
Okay, so lots of time if somebody asked you something. No, can I have some more cake?
No. Can I go out and play with my friends? No. Can I stay at home from school today?
Not. So that's quite definite, and a definitive way for somebody to say,
you're not doing that yet. But when we're talking particularly from a business perspective, or where
we don't want to appear to be too rude, then we will use other words, not just a simple No.
So words like, Oh, I'm sorry, that will not be possible. I'm afraid that that's out of
the question. I'd rather that you didn't, I'm afraid not. So nicer, more polite ways
to say no. You mean the same. You mean, It's not possible, but you're saying it in a different way.
Okay, so we look at informal request and reply.
So what we've looked at, up to now have been more formal requests, and
those replies, so we look at something a little bit more informal.
Can I have the last piece of cake? Now somebody might say, you should say 'may' I have the last
piece of cake because that's, it sounds much more polite. There's not a huge amount of difference
between can and may but 'may' always sounds a little bit more polite. But what is much more
common is can. Can I have the last piece of cake, mum? Have you 10 Euro you could lend me? You know,
it's not, Would you mind lending me 10 Euro? That's much more formal and much more polite.
Have you 10 Euro you could lend me? It's not impolite, it's just a little bit more informal.
And then the answer could be yes, sure. No problem, here is 10 Euro.
So some is agreeing to your request. Yeah, go ahead. Have the last piece of cake. So you know,
knock yourself out. Somebody might say yeah, so go ahead. Again, somebody's agreeing to your request.
Do you mind if I come in late tomorrow morning? Not a problem. Yeah, half an hour, an hour,
whatever. Just you know, work over your lunch hour or work a bit later tomorrow evening. No problem.
Can I go and play with my friends? Not a chance. You've got all that homework to
do. You're not going out until they finish the homework. Not a chance.
Can you give me some more pocket money? Not a chance. You ask that every week, yeah. So not a
chance. So again, informal and a refusal, okay? Or if you you want to be a little bit rude and
the... if you're a little bit annoyed with the person making the request, then you you might say
something like, Look, go away, no. Or Go away and don't annoy me. So that could come across as very
short, very sharp, and in some cases a little bit rude. So let me give them to you one more time.
Can I have the last piece of cake? Have your 10 Euro you could lend me
and then granting the permission in an informal way. Yeah, sure. Or go ahead. Why not?
Not a problem? Or negative. Not a chance. Go away, no. Okay. So some less rude than others,
some more polite for all informal. Okay, so hopefully that's given you some indication as
to how we can ask or request or grant permissions both in a formal and an informal way. And also how
what gives you is the refusals that you might get because it's not always the case that every time
you ask for something, that... it's automatically granted. So we've got the permission granted,
or permission refused. As I said, if you want to contact me, then you can do so on
www.englishlessonviaskype.com. Always happy to hear from you. And if you have any comments at
all, you want something included in future lessons, well, drop me a line and we'll see
what we can do. As always, I hope you can continue to subscribe to my channel, listen to my podcasts.
And if you check out my web page, you'll see lots of wonderful, wonderful courses that will help you
with your English. Okay, well, thanks for listening. Join me again soon.