- Hello. [snorts softly] I'm Rachel Bloom,
and today we're gonna talk about the capture...
of Adolf Eichmann.
So Israel's established in 1948,
and Israel's like, okay, we need our own CIA.
And so they form the Mossad, and David Ben-Gurion,
who's the prime minister, is like,
I'm going to appoint you,
Isser Harel, to be head of Mossad.
And Isser Harel is like, awesome.
We're gonna hunt down Nazi war criminals,
'cause there are a lot of Nazis
still, like, chilling.
And the guy at the top of their list
is Adolf Eichmann,
who literally planned the Holocaust.
So Isser Harel is like,
let's nail this [bleep] mother[bleep]
to the wall like a [bleep] moose
who's been hunted.
Meanwhile, Adolf Eichmann is living in Argentina,
making, like, a new alias. And he's like...
[in German accent] Hmm, what's
an Argentinean-sounding name?
Oh, I know: Ricardo Clement.
Good job, Adolf-- I mean, Ricardo.
Wink. However, his kids,
who were there with him, they're like,
well, I'm really attached to Eichmann.
It's, like, in all my yearbooks.
Like, I'm just gonna-- I'm gonna--I'm gonna keep it.
So, the Eichmann kids are [bleep] stupid.
- [chuckling]
- [laughing]
Okay, so...
in the 1950s, Eichmann's son, Klaus, starts dating
this very nice girl, Sylvia.
And when she's like, Daddy, I'm dating, like,
the best guy. His name is Klaus Eichmann.
And he's like, that's weird.
My dog loves licking her [bleep].
- [laughs] - My dog licks her vagina
more than any dog. - That's cool.
- Anyway, so Sylvia's father, Lothar Hermann,
is like, huh, Eichmann, Eichmann...
[in German accent] Where have I heard that name?
[dramatic percussive music]
And so, Lothar tips off the Mossad.
And he's like, my daughter's dating
a guy named Klaus Eichmann. Like, this might
be Adolf Eichmann-- and this might be
the son of Adolf Eichmann.
And the Mossad is like,
we need to check this guy out.
And so, they send operatives to Argentina,
all of whom are Holocaust survivors.
And they're like, you need to take pictures of Eichmann
to make sure this is Eichmann, so that we're not just, like,
capturing some poor Argentinean dude.
- Smart.
- Okay, so...
- [chuckles] - No!
- What are you looking for?
- My water went under the couch.
- I got you.
You got it? - Thanks, friend.
- Mm-hmm.
- So, they send a guy,
who just kind of walks up to him
while he's gardening, and they're like,
tell us how you garden. And he's like,
well... and he, like, starts
to explain gardening to them.
And the whole time, they have
a suitcase that has, like, a spy camera in it,
so they're like... [imitates camera clicking]
And he's like, what's that sound?
They're like, nothing.
So they send the pictures
back to Israel, and the Mossad is like,
dudes, this is Eichmann. Let's get him there.
But Harel's like, whoa.
Argentina is really bad... - Mm-hmm.
- About extraditing Nazis.
They, like, don't give a shit for some reason.
I don't know why. I don't know why!
But they're just bad about it.
And he tells Zvi Aharoni,
if we're gonna capture Adolf Eichmann,
we're gonna have to-- we're gonna have to,
like, full-on kidnap him.
Like-like a kid on a milk carton.
We're gonna have to milk-carton Adolf Eichmann.
- Mm. - So...
the four operatives, um...
they go to Argentina-- it's weird to tell a story
about Nazis and be so cozy.
- [chuckles] - Anyway,
they park a deserted car
to lure Eichmann.
And they're like, okay guys,
so...to distract ourselves
we need to come up with a group name.
How about... "The Kidnapping Friends"?
And one of them's like, no, I don't--I--
okay, if we're gonna come up with names,
now's not the time to do it-- but if we're going to,
I think it should be called "The Abduction Posse."
And another one's like, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Listen, how about, I don't know,
"The Snatch Squad?"
And they're like, Snatch Squad!
And just then, that's when Eichmann walks down the road.
And they're like, uh, our car is broken down.
[suspenseful music]
Psych! It's not!
And they tackle Eichmann.
They just, like, full-on,
like, bum-rush Eichmann.
And they get him in the car,
and my dog continues to lick her own [bleep].
- I'll be dogged.
I wanna do
the rest of the story lying down.
- You do it. You do what you--
you do it the way you want. - So, they bring him
to a safe house, and then they try
to question him to make sure it's Adolf Eichmann
living in Germany-- Ar-Argentina.
And Eichmann's like, hola. [laughs]
Me llamo Ricardo Clement.
[laughing] Like, he's pretending to be Argentinean.
They're just like, clearly not.
You are a pasty white German dude.
And finally, he drops all the shit,
and he's like, all right, I'm Adolf Eichmann.
Can I get a glass of wine?
And they're like, okay, there is a plane leaving
from Buenos Aires to Israel.
How do we sneak Eichmann onto this plane?
So May 20, 1960, they sedate Adolf Eichmann,
they dress him up as an El Al flight attendant--
which is the Israeli airline--
and they literally, like, drag him to the airport.
Like, full-on "Weekend At Bernie's"-ing
the orchestrator of, like, the worst thing
that's ever happened in their lives,
and just being like, hey, I'm tired.
Hello, I'm an El Al flight attendant.
And they're literally carrying him
like, onto the plane.
I mean, like, the story's [bleep] insane.
So they get him to Israel,
and they put Eichmann on trial.
And he's convicted, and...he's hung
outside of Tel Aviv. - Wow.
- And the guys who captured him
are like, look, f...
far be it for we to celebrate death,
but also, um, [bleep] yeah.
- [bleep] the Nazis. - [bleep] the Nazis, man.
I'm alive. I'm 97.4 Ashkenazi.