What's up pretty, pretty? It's Marie here for another Q & A Tuesday!
So today we're going to switch things up a little bit because I'm going to answer two
Q's with one A! So you can kind of think of it a little bit like a threesome, kind of.
Then we're going to get even more funky and I'm going to throw a gentleman into the mix.
Oh yes, I did! You're going to love it! So before we go there, I just want to share a
little chick moment because I have my favorite mala beads on right now and I just think they're
so beautiful, and I think you should know about this company.
It's called Tiny Devotions and you can go check them out at www.lovetinydevotions.com.
Check them out! I think you're going to love it!
Q 1: Okay, so let's get into it! First question is from Marie, so Marie she writes:
"What keeps you motivated and so enthusiastic about your business? I'm just starting my
own and it's a struggle to keep myself in the right frame of mind 24/7."
Very popular question, we're going to press pause on that and I'm going to go to question
number 2.
Q2: This one's from Lydia and Lydia writes: "I'm a certified virtual assistant and I really
want to make progress with my business this up and coming year. It's like I'm starting
up all the time but never really launching it as if something is stopping me." Interesting!
"What steps do you recommend in order to break down that mental barrier? I know it's something
that worries a lot of people like me, changing from a daytime job in order to become an entrepreneur.
I know I can and will do it but there's always a 'but'."
I think these questions are amazing because what both these young ladies are talking about
is something all of us deal with and it's called resistance. I want to introduce you
to one of my favorite books on the planet. Now if you've been listening to me for a little
while, you probably have heard this before but it bears repeating; The War of Art by
a guy named Steven Pressfield. I have been reading this book over and over and over and
over again for years.
I have like my little stickies in there, it's really worn and it's even turning yellow.
This book's incredible! But wait, there's more because guess what? Steven just came
out with a brand new book and it's called Do The Work! This is actually the cover but
Do The Work! is on the back. I devoured this book in such a hot minute. Why? Because it
talks about the answer to your Q's. Everyone of us deals with resistance.
It's that thing that happens; all those thoughts that come up in our mind any time we want
to start something creative. I mean whether you want to begin your own business; you want
to lose some weight; you want to run a marathon; you want to create a piece of art. All of
us have that same head jog that comes up that can stop us set on our tracks if we don't
know how to deal with resistance and, this thing my friends is the Bible. But hang on
because this is where it gets even cooler! I have admired Steven Pressfield for freaking
long, I can't tell you! He's been one of my creative idols and we are so lucky right now
because we're going to interview him, and he's going to tell us about resistance and
how to deal with it. Here we go:
Marie: Okay so, we are here right now with one of my favorite authors of all times, Steven
Pressfield. He has made such a huge difference in my life. Steven, thank you for taking the
time today to chat with us.
Steven: Thanks Marie. Thanks for having me. It's great to be here.
Marie: Yeah so I kind of set up, there's another piece of this video that's all beautifully
produced and basically I've a lot of people that write me and ask like, "Oh God, I've
got these ideas but I feel like something's stopping me." And, you've written so eloquently
about How To Handle Resistance and this gem of a book we'll let them read it because everyone
needs to have a copy of this!
So, we'll let you talk about resistance in the book but I want to ask you some personal
questions because you're one of my idols. So, this is awesome! Do you have a lot of
books and ideas for screenplays and maybe even more books come to you simultaneously
and then you have to...do you ever struggle with which one to start working on first?
Steven: Thank you but although more often [I don't these past few?] [04:03] years. I'm
really happy if I just have one into the future and a lot of times I'll be working on a book
for two years, and I've no clue what's going to come next if anything ever will. I pray
that it will. At the moment, I've actually two or three backed up but my mantra as I
know you know from reading my books is when you have more than one idea; take the one
that scares you the most. That's the one that you should do.
Marie: I love that! I actually, you know again I've read War of Art and I have it all earmarked
and stuff. But just hearing you say that again reminds me because that was actually my next
question was; how if you do have multiple ideas what's your methodology for choosing
which one to go with? And so, has that kind of guided your career when in terms with creativity?
Steven: Definitely, because I think you know there's sort of a law of resistance in my
experience that the more important the project is to your soul's evolution.
Marie: Yeah.
Steven: The more resistance you'll appeal to it. So if it's not important to you, you
won't feel any resistance at all.
Marie: Right.
Steven: But if it's something that's like really life changing and you have to do it,
you'll feel really a massive terror or resistance, self-doubt, all of those things, right?
Marie: Yeah.
Steven: So I would say, sort of like a needle that will always point true north. Resistance
will always point to what you should be doing. Whatever you're most afraid of is the one
to do - that's been my experience and you know I also say the War of Art. Ever see that
show on Bravo Inside the Actor's Studio with James Lipton?
Marie: Yes. Yes.
Steven: They're always asking the actors how do you know which role you want to take. And,
they will always answer the role that was going to stretch me the most because you know
if they've already done it, they've done other roles why repeat yourself? If you've been
an action hero in one movie, why do it again? You've already done it, right? Why not try
to be a sensitive, you know a nurse, [state of gardens] [06:08] or something like that.
Marie: No, it's true. I think for me, my own experience like as you're talking, my mind
was calling up, 'yeah, my biggest breakthroughs in my business have been when I've been willing
to step into that place.' Like, "Oh my God, this makes me want to throw up but I have
to do it." Those are the projects that are usually...
Steven: That's a great start, throwing up is always a great start. (Laughing)
Marie: Yeah, and it's interesting too because for me, my body reacts like...it does. It
reacts very physically where like if I'm really pursuing something, I can start calling up
headaches. I can call up all kinds of things that you know, it's almost like giving birth
to this. All these toxins have to come out.
Steven: Yeah.
Marie: Yeah.
Steven: Yeah.
Marie: So, another question. Do you give yourself shipping deadlines? Like if you know you're
working on this book or you're like, "I know what, I'm going to give myself three months
to get X done or do you just kind of give yourself creative license at this time to
give it as long as it takes?
Steven: I mean it may be different for me, Marie because writing novels takes so long.
You know, it could be two years. It could be three years and a lot of times other projects
will come along. Maybe you know you'll get different job, do a screenplay or something.
Marie: Right.
Steven: That you know you could do in three months or something and so I don't oppose
deadlines except with short projects. Then I do, I say, "I want to get this done by Christmas,"
or "I want to get this done. Now, I'll have a vacation slated. I'm going to get this done,
I don't want to think about it." You know, it matters. But for long projects, I think
they have a life of their own and you have to relax and not put too much pressure on
yourself. At least, that's my feeling.
Marie: Yeah.
Steven: So, I try to cut myself some slack in the areas like that.
Marie: Awesome! I think I only have... Oh yeah, so this is the question, actually that
I was so excited to ask you and it comes from page 95 in Do The Work! Which again everybody
on the planet, I feel has to have a copy of Do The Work! So, you wrote this at the end
and it says, "The level of maturity, professionalism and personal involvement demanded by the tectonic
overthrows happening today in positioning branding and marketing; not to mention pure
art and soul of authenticity."
Then, you kind of alluded to but you know this is a whole other topic for a whole other
book and well it very well may be on your plate. I was so fascinated because I feel
the same way inside. So if you have anything to say about that topic or what you wrote
there, I'd love to hear it.
Steven: Well said, we started living in ADD times aren't we? Now, with so many distractions
and how many temptations; so many ways that it looks like you could make a fast buck or
make a fast killing, or make a fast creative killing. Or you know that, it really does
take a tremendous level of maturity and self-discipline, motivation, self-validation to sort of keep
in your own world.
You know, keep focusing on what's important to you and guiding yourself by your own star
rather than getting pulled off. It's like there are so many...see [indiscernible] [09:27-28]
It's like there's so many planets out there. They're zigging and zagging in front of us,
each of their own gravitational field; pull us this way or pull us that way. It's really
a challenge to just follow your own gyroscope
Marie: Right.
Steven: And, very hard to do because a lot of times and I'm sure you get this a lot is
success or attention will come to you for something that maybe is not your best stuff.
Marie: Right.
Steven: Or maybe it's not pulling you in the direction that you really should be going
and it can be sort of hard to follow your muse, and follow your highest kind of long-range
calling. You know, where you're going to be over a career. I don't know if that answers...
Marie, if you have any more specific areas, it's a really interesting topic.
Marie: Yeah, I know and I also... I mean, first of all, that was a beautiful answer
and I agree a hundred percent. I think it's shifting also the way that we, when it comes
to books at least. You know in the past couple years, I have one book under my belt and it's
about 168 pages and I'm super proud of it! And I'm thinking like the next book's in me
and it's starting to you know, bubble up and I want it to be short.
You know like, it's like I love, one of the things I love about Do The Work! is I read
this puppy in a couple hours. I mean I did not stop, just went right through and I felt
like I got such a full meal without having you know like 300 pages in front of me. So
I think the way we're consuming creativity like you said, our attention spans are getting
shorter. So it's an interesting time for us as creators and also as consumers to think
about how we want to say what we have to say.
Steven: Yeah. My first was a guy named Bart Hobart, it was years ago. He was 88-years
old at the time and I was asking him, "You know, how long should this book be? I'm working
on a book, how long should it be?" He said, "How long is a letter?" And, what he meant
by that is there can be short letters and there can be long letters.
Marie: Right.
Steven: Each project will sort of dictate the length that it wants to be. So if you're
kind of feeling that this wants to be short, the next thing then it should be short.
Marie: Right.
Steven: You know, it could be read on your iPhone. You know, it could be read on an iPad.
It could be read, you know in an airport lounge. You can rip through the whole thing while
you wait for your flight. I mean, I don't think a novel could be like that. But now
the kind of book, the sort of an inspirational book or a "kick in the ass" book.
Marie: Yeah.
Steven: You know sort of a, it's longer than say than a long Vanity Fair article but it's
shorter than a book book.
Marie: Yes.
Steven: So you're really like you say, you feel like you can get a full meal. You can
a real steak and potatoes meal
Marie: Yep.
Steven: But you're not doing it for you know, like a [indiscernible] [12:25], so.
Marie: Yeah. No, I like it! I love it and I just, thank you so much for taking the time
to hang out with us for a little bit and I just...
Steven: Did you resent part of these? You know, your book about how to you know whatever,
kind of attract a man. What's the title of the book?
Marie: Oh, so you!
Steven: Will I like this?
Marie: Yeah, you'll like this. So it's called, the title of it is Make Every Man Want You,
How to Be So Irresistible You'll Barely Keep from Dating Yourself! And...
Steven: And, I love it! I love it!
Marie: And, it's a Trojan horse. It's actually not that much about men or dating. It's a
very spiritual book, my take on the whole, the axis point for me of irresistibility is
being very present in the moment and kind of letting go all of the crap that goes on
up here and fully engaging with your life like no brakes on, just going for it! So I
actually got a little Facebook comment today from a woman who said, "I'm so angry at your
title! I thought it was bullshit. I thought it was crap. It's so superficial," and she
said that, "I read it and it totally changed my life."
So I kind of like to do things in a...
Steven: [indiscernible] [13:37] Well, I can tell you, you practice what you preach in
your books.
Marie: Yeah I mean, I for whatever reason, I like to create in what I call Trojan Horses
where it sounds like it's one thing and it's probably a little controversial or it's a
little something; and then it gives you something else once you get on the inside. I just think
it's fun to surprise people that way. Plus it's you know, if I were to write a book like
Here's How to Live in The Present Moment, I mean I don't think I would have done very
well, frankly.
Steven: Right, you mightn't. A great title helps a lot.
Marie: Yeah. So anyway, well, enjoy the rest of your afternoon in L.A and thank you for
doing what you do. Thank you for creating this incredible, incredible guide for all
of us who want to make stuff in the world and for everybody watching, you guys I can't
recommend this enough. You have to get a copy of this book! And I don't know Steven, if
the gang told you but we have a bulk order coming because I want...
I have a high level group of women that I mentor in a program called The Rich, Happy
and Hot Adventure Mastermind and like, I need them to have this. Like this needs to travel
with them at all the time, so I'm psyched!
Steven: That's great! Thank you! Okay, thanks for having me, Marie. It was a sure pleasure
to meet you. I did not know you before this but it's great to know you now!
Marie: Great to know you! Thank you so much, Steven!
Steven: Okay, let's do it again sometime.
Marie: Cool!
Steven: Okay, thanks Marie!
Marie: Bye!
Steven: Bye!
For a limited time, get a free copy of "Do The Work!" Check the description below for
the link!