- My name is Olivia Durant,
and I had no idea what I looked like
until just a few years ago.
I was blind from birth until my 30s
and this is that story.
So, I was born with severe, severe, severe myopia.
I could see incredible detail
from the tip of my nose to my face,
but from the tip of my nose onward,
I could see nothing.
All I could see was shape, color,
floaters, flashers,
sort of like a kaleidoscope.
I didn't come from a family that had money
and I actually was abandoned by my parents as a child.
So, I ended up getting thrown
into public school with sighted kids.
They did not get to go to the school for the blind
and I didn't learn Braille.
I didn't have any accommodation
other than maybe get up to the front of the room and try.
So, I would take a book,
and I would smash it against my face,
and I would read like this.
And I could see the paper fibers,
I could see the ink,
but I would put together the letters into words
and just go like this,
and I actually would have ink
on the tip of my nose from smearing.
It looked weird.
I just looked like the stereotypical
giant glasses nerd on steroids.
I was told that I was stupid, fat, and ugly
for my entire life by some of my family members,
but also by most of the kids I went to school with
because that's, I guess, what bullies do.
I couldn't see myself to really sort out
that that was wrong.
So, I was unable to really establish a sense of self
and I took on this sense of self
that other people told me I should have.
I was getting bullied and beaten up so much at school.
Like, I would just stand there, not be able to see anything,
somebody would grab me,
and next thing I know, I'd be on the floor
and some boy would be kicking me in the side
or spitting on me, something like that.
And the teachers let this happen
because I guess there's too many kids
and there's not enough teachers, right?
So, I joined a karate school
and the guy that owned the school
ended up being like a second father to me.
I was pretty terrible at it,
but I would just sit up there with him
and read books or talk,
and it was a place where I felt that I had a family
and he's like, "Well, I'll teach you."
So, I ended up learning how to fight there.
So, if somebody grabbed my arm,
I knew how to defend against it
and I started fighting semi-professionally
and tables started turning.
It gave me confidence that I did not have
and a family that I didn't have as well.
So, it was a great point in my life.
Surgery existed to give me sight in the 90s.
I remember, one did mention,
"If we replace the lens of your eye with an implant,
just like cataract surgery, you'll be able to see."
And at the time, I think it was something like $40,000.
And they were just like,
"Yeah, we're not gonna recommend that to you
because it's just too expensive
and insurance doesn't cover it."
So, what happened was in 2014, I developed actual cataracts.
And then they were like,
"Well, the insurance is going to cover it,
but you need laser surgeries on top of that.
So, that's gonna be about $10,000 extra."
And I said something about it on Facebook.
And in three hours,
people that knew me had donated over $10,000.
And I said, "Please stop,
I wanna give the rest to charity."
I ended up going in for four surgeries.
You have to look at a laser
and the laser divides your eye into a checkerboard shape.
And then they implant and inject a lens
that unfurls into your eye.
The whole process took from January 2016
until about November 2016.
It wasn't the easiest thing I've ever done.
So, I remember when I woke up from surgery,
it wasn't like a big bang thing, right?
Where you just wake up and like,
"I can see perfectly!"
When I was able to see people,
it was like too much information.
I developed really bad anxiety because it's like,
if you've ever seen any of those sci-fi shows
where some normal person gets psychic powers,
and then they have a nervous breakdown,
and starts screaming,
that's what happened to me.
And doctors are medical doctors.
They're not going to say, "Oh, be prepared,
this might put you in therapy."
But apparently, most people it does.
I get along really well with transgender people
because they get the idea of dramatic rebirth
that you can't ignore
and you have to deal emotionally and mentally.
But it was very hard.
I would say the hardest years of my life
were the two years after my surgery.
So, I went into this salad bar place right after surgery
and they had one of those mirrored walls.
And I walked in and I saw a person next to me
and it's that awkward thing
where somebody is so close to you that you wanna...
You have to say hi to them, right?
And I was like, "Oh, hi."
And I said hello to myself.
And then I'm looking, "Did anybody see me say hi to myself?
The reflection in the mirror?"
And I'm like, "No."
And then I was like, "Oh my God, that's me.
Do I look like that?
Oh, wow, what?"
And I just started crying.
I had a nervous breakdown
and I probably looked like a person
that was losing her grip on reality,
but I didn't recognize myself at all.
And even sometimes, at night now,
I will look at myself in the mirror
and be like, "Is that me?"
And if I'm not paying attention,
I can revert to the person that I was told I was
before I got the surgery
because I feel like everybody is programmed
at a young age with their identity.
My life has been hard,
but I'm actually really happy and grateful for it
because I was able to get through it
and I was able to be stronger afterwards.
And the main thing that I wanna do
is I want to make a difference on the planet
for people that feel that maybe their disability
or their situation is a lost cause.
It's not.
Your disability is where your superpower is.
And even before I had my eye surgery,
my disability was where my superpower is
because I looked at myself closer
and I was able to realize how strong I was
and I'm not special.
Everyone has it in them.
(gentle upbeat music)