- Sex in marriage.
First of all, this video is of adult content
and I would discourage you to have children or minors
as you watch this content.
The very idea of one flesh, man joining is referring to
a physical connection that a man will have with his wife
when they get married.
Sex is a gift that is to be enjoyed within
the context of marriage.
Some people see sex as gross, some people see sex as god,
but Christianity presents the idea of sex as God's idea
and it's a gift that is to be enjoyed within the context of marriage.
When people are single and they are not married,
the devil does everything he can so he can push them into sex.
And the moment they get married, he does everything he can
to make sure they don't enjoy sexual relationship
with their spouse.
Now let's look at the five purposes of sex.
In Genesis 1:28 God made it very clear. He blessed Adam and Eve
and even He says, "Be fruitful and multiply."
He wasn't referring to their career,
He wasn't referring to their jobs
He wasn't referring to their finances,
He was talking about them making babies.
And we know there is one way you can make babies, through sex.
The second purpose of sex is for pleasure.
We see this in Proverbs 5:18-19, where God says:
And so, this speaks of pleasure. This is not about making babies.
This is not about fulfilling some duties.
This is actually a couple enjoying each other's company
enjoying each other and just having a good time by having sex.
Third reason for sex or third purpose for sex is for protection.
In 1 Corinthians 7:2 it says:
And so, something happens when you have a healthy relationship
with your spouse,
and you also have a healthy sexual life with your spouse.
It protects you from sexual immorality.
I'm not saying that it will take away the temptation
The Bible doesn't teach us that if you have a great marriage
that you will no longer have demons, flesh and the world
and the devil to deal with.
But it does make it easier to overcome temptation
when you have a good relationship and you have
a satisfying sex life.
Number four is intimacy or closeness.
We see that in Genesis 4:1
It didn't say you know, Adam had an intercourse.
It doesn't say that Adam went and lay with his wife.
It says, "knew his wife."
And then actually this verse is used for us knowing the Lord
meaning this was more than just a physical act
This was an emotional connection. This was intimacy.
I heard I think T.D Jakes said intimacy is in to me see.
So it's when you are seeing into the other person.
It's when you are getting to know the other person.
It's more than an act as much as it's a connection,
closeness with the person.
Purpose number five for sex in the Bible is for comfort.
We see that in 2 Samuel 12:24 says:
They just lost a kid and it's a very difficult time for them
and David comforted her and then he went in to her
and lay with her.
So this of course speaks of a physical relationship
that David enjoyed now with his wife, Bathsheba.
And it uses this word comfort.
That there was a comfort that was released through
that physical relationship and contact that they had.
Now let's look at something that is more on the practical side
of having sexual relationship in marriage.
Number one is that sex is like superglue in marriage.
You know the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 6:16:
So when you have sex with your spouse you are developing
a very deep bond with them. It's like a superglue.
That's why you should not have sex with anybody but your spouse
because you are developing soul ties.
Not only it open doors to demons, not only it's sin
but it also develops very deep connections with that person
and then it takes years to get healed from that.
You know if you divorce or if you break up
after you committed sexual sin, it has a lot
deadlier consequences than you realize.
You know just because you are going to come and say,
"I'm sorry, Lord forgive me." Yeah, God can forgive you but
the healing process is very painful and very long.
But in marriage sex is like superglue.
It cements you together, brings you closer
and you should do it more often.
The second thing that I want to mention practically is
I have another video where I will deal with spouse rape
and what's allowed and what's not allowed in the marriage bed
but the verse that I want to present to you is
1 Corinthians 7:3-4.
And I want you to notice that Paul starts pretty much in saying
hey, this is not about you this is about the other person.
And that's why I really encourage couples
you don't need to have sex before you get married
to see if you are really good in bed.
Are you good at serving each other?
Are you good at attending to each other's needs? Yeah.
Then in bed it's going to be the same thing
because sex is not about you, sex is about the other person.
Sex is about serving, sex is not about selfishness.
Number three, you have to understand the differences
between your sexuality as a man and a woman.
In Proverbs 5:15-18, it speaks of a man as a fountain
and we see that a woman is presented like a well.
And if you look at the biology of a man and and a woman
if you look at their sexuality, if you study their sexuality
you will see one thing, that man is like a fountain;
he's always ready;
and the woman is like a well, you have to draw the water.
One counselor said, Dr. Kevin Leman said:
Meaning how you treat your spouse, husbands,
is going to play a big role in to whether you are going to
have sex or not. A woman is a well.
If you want water you have got to draw it out.
A man is a fountain. He is ready with a snap of fingers.
He is ready, he is on all the time. All you got to do is just
turn the faucet and the water comes out.
Husbands, chill. OK?
Your wife does not have a demon just because she is not
always ready or doesn't want to have sex with you all the time.
And it's not because she doesn't like you,
it's just she is a well and you have got to draw water
out of the well. So behave yourself and be careful
how you treat her and how you talk to her.
Are you all lovey-dovey because you want sex
or because you want her, because you love her through out the day?
Do you surprise her with pleasant surprises?
Are you generous with her? Are you generous with your words?
Are you thinking about her?
Does she know you are thinking about her? Do you miss her
not only because you want this physical connection and
because you have these urges or needs but because
you genuinely care and you value her as a person.
All of this go a long way.
And wives, your husband is not a pervert
just because he wants sex all the time
It's not because he has a spirit of a demon,
or a spirit of Jezebel, or Lilith or Succubus or Incubus. OK?
Most men are wired like that where they are more sexual than
maybe they should or maybe the way the women are.
And it provides a sense of release a lot of times for a man
and it provides a sense of connection to their spouse
It's not really a need because our need is really oxygen
and water and that's our need.
So we can't say that's our need because that would make it
like, "Oh, I can't live without sex."
Yes, you can live without sex.
Many people have lived without sex.
Jesus lived without sex and you will be fine
if you don't have sex.
But for wives you do have to understand that there is
a greater need for this than women have,
and that is to have a sexual relationship with their spouse.
Number four on a practical level is we have to pursue purity.
We still have to maintain holiness and purity
even when we are married.
A lot of times when we are single, we value purity.
But in reality we have to value virginity
and then we give the gift of virginity to our spouse.
But the moment you get married, you lose the gift of virginity
but you should never lose the gift of purity
and the pursuit of purity, and the connection and the commitment
that you make to purity.
So flirting, lust, emotional attachments,
Dm'ing opposite sex, watching porn
are the little foxes that will spoil the vine
as it says in Song of Solomon.
They will ruin your sexual experiences with your spouse
if you constantly are filling yourself with sexual immorality.
You know it's like you are eating McDonald's
and then your wife has prepared you a really beautiful dinner.
You know, you are going to come home, you are not going
to be hungry anymore because you've eaten the junk food.
Of course, sexual immorality is not junk food
sexual immorality is worse than junk food.
It's a disobedience to God, but you get my point
that it will damage your sexual relationship with your spouse.
If you have been abused, it can affect your ability
to receive and give love.
Be open about it and seek professional help.
If you've been abused, it can really damage your ability to
enjoy sexual relationship especially if your abuse
has been sexual.
It can really paralyze you in that field.
And it's not because you are a bad person,
it's because you need to deal with those hurts
and you need to deal with those challenges.
And if you are the spouse on the receiving end
of a person that you are married to who has had abuse
and you're like, "Oh, this is not going to be a big deal
when you get married," and now you are married and you realize
it is a big deal. Please be patient.
Please exhibit and portray the fruit of the Holy Spirit
and walk along with your spouse.
Don't force things on your spouse. Give them time
Learn your patience, long-suffering with your spouse
so that God can do the healing with your spouse.
Encourage them and if possible even go with them to seek
professional help and professional healing and inner healing
for the wounds that they have incurred.
And last one, number six is demons.
Demons can affect your sex drive
and they can affect your sex life.
There are demons- Incubus, Succubus, that can actually have
sex with a person in a dream.
And this is not just one bad nightmare.
A person can wake up and see that they are not feeling good.
There can even be resemblances, certain fluids that got released
from their body. Some people even have marks on their body
from these sort of dreams and when they are repeated,
they have the potential to destroy your marriage.
and therefore you need to seek deliverance.
Therefore, you need to seek help, both of you
even if one of you is only being attacked
because these are demons that are not after just your sex
they are after your marriage.
And they want to come through the area of sleep
through the area of sex so that they can take advantage of you
and then harass you and torment you.
I have a whole different video about Incubus and Succubus
and spirit spouses I want you to watch and then you can
learn more about it, on how to break those things
and how to find the open doors for those demons
so you can walk in freedom in this area.
It is God's will for sex to be enjoyable.
It is God's will that in it we bring Him the most glory.
And that we get to know our spouse and as a result
we also populate this earth with a lot of babies for God.
God bless you.
Thank you for watching this video
and check out my other video which deals with what's okay
and what's not okay in a marriage bed.
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