This isn't going to be awkward with us sharing a room, is it?
Why would it be?
[romantic music playing]
This isn't the party suite.
No, it is. Party of two,
an intimate experience for lovers in love. Wow.
Comes with a couples massage with five flavors of lotion.
I've heard that as a groomsman,
it's my job to comfort a lonely bridesmaid.
Wanna dance?
You think I'm lonely? Why?
'Cause I'm in a wedding dress by myself
at someone else's wedding?
Why'd you get so fixated on that robot theory anyway?
'Cause I'm guessing it's not jealousy stemming
from a deep, unfulfilled love for Nevel Papperman.
Yeah, no, literally would rather die.
[chuckles]
I don't know.
I guess weddings just make you feel like
you can't know real happiness until you find a partner.
The idea that even Nevel found that
when I haven't, kind of struck a nerve,
even though I know it's not true.
'Kay, well, first of all, it is totally possible
to be married and miserable.
- Like you were. - Twice.
And it's just as possible to be happy and single.
And you're happy, right?
You know what, I really am.
I mean, at this exact moment, I'm a little embarrassed,
kind of hungry 'cause I gave Kimmi my Halal meal,
but... overall, yeah, I'm happy.
Look at us. Girls'-trippin', champagne sippin'
and chocolate drawer dippin'.
Oh. And I brought something for you.
- Aw, Freddie. Thanks. - Mm-hmm.
"My Way or the Rosé." Aw, I'm never gonna wear this.
I gotta hand it to you, though.
This girls' trip is off to a great start.
Shall we look at my itinerary?
"Gossip on the drive here." Check.
"Freak out over how great the room is." Check.
"Look in all the drawers for weird stuff
people left behind."
Checking!
I wonder what this does.
♪ Ooh, honey Come here to me ♪
♪ Let's take a walk Amongst the blossoming... ♪
- I like this song. - Mm. I like it, too.
It's great for lots of occasions.
Go to cooking class
♪ I want to have s-s-s-sex ♪
♪ With you, baby Mm... ♪
Is this weird?
[scoffs] Not at all.
♪ Oh, no, no ♪
You know what?
Who says you can't share a honeymoon suite
with your platonic best friend
with whom you have a complicated romantic history?
No one says that.
You know what? You take the bed.
It's so fancy, it'll ruin me for all future beds.
Oh, my God.
This bed is so comfortable.
Freddie, you gotta come try this.
At least for a few minutes before you mess up your back
- sleeping on that couch. - All right.
[music playing]
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah!
This feels so good.
You know what, I'm doing it. I'm going in. Come on.
♪ I wanna have... ♪
- Oh! - That is incredible.
Oh, so good.
Fun Brooke is here. Let's get this party star...
Oh. Looks like the party already started. Rrr!
No, no. I mean, we're not.
- No. - I-I mean, we were.
But not like were were. Then we weren't.
Let me just turn this off.
♪ With you, baby ♪
♪ I want to have S-s-s-sex ♪
I wish someone else responsible was at this party.
Where's Freddie when you need him?
Who's ready to get drunk?
Freddie, it's me, Duke.
Hey, what's up, D-bag?
This is SnotRag, MC-GymShorts, and Lloyd.
Now, if you'd be so chill as to direct us
to your fattest keg?
[chuckles]
Oh, God, Freddie. You're an iguana guy now?
Living the dream.
Don't you think you might've taken
the time machine back a little too far?
You're supposed to be reliving your 20s, not puberty.
Pfft. Girls are lame. Not you, SnotRag.
Why did I ever think
I should start a channel with Luke?
Am I that desperate for a partner?
Don't answer that, still talking.
I just want to make things again.
You don't need a partner to do that.
Yeah. I don't need a partner, I need Sam.
But she's off following her bliss with that biker gang.
The Obliteraters. Hope she's okay.
It's Sam, I hope they're okay.
[chuckles]
I just wish she was here so we could do iCarly again.
Do you think I could do it on my own?
Doesn't matter what I think. Matters what you want.
Of course, I wouldn't be completely on my own.
I'd have my new producer.
Aw. You do mean me, right?
Yeah. Do you think you could shoot me
using that filter that makes my cheekbones all...
A filter that makes you look like an alien?
A sexy alien.
Ever since I got divorced the second time,
also the first time, but mostly the second time,
I just felt like I'm never gonna meet someone
who's right for me.
You feel that way about Brooke?
I don't know, maybe.
It's fun making out with her.
Fair enough.
I just wish I got to make out with someone, too.
Ding dong.
I might be able to help you with that.
You know, it took me a minute, but I think I finally get
what you two have been trying to tell me.
The honeymoon suite, the massage,
Harper conveniently not being able to come
at the last minute,
not to mention the obvious sexual tension
between me and Carly.
The which what?
You want Hot Mess Brooke for a hot messy threesome.
Oh, I don't think...
Let's hear the woman out.
Okay, I say we just jump right in.
You know, because rules and boundaries,
they make everything so blah.
Brooke, we- we're not trying to have a threesome with you.
Oh, God.
Why does this keep happening to me?
First at that funeral and then at the DMV.
I'm just gonna grab another drink
from the hallway and go home.
Hey, I'm Miranda Cosgrove from iCarly,
thanks for watching, make sure that you like and subscribe.